“Knocked up. Yes. A bun in the oven. Preggers. With child. Expecting. In the family way.” She sits down on the bed, stretches her back, and lifts her shirt.
I stare at her belly. It’s not huge, not so much that I would have noticed it if she weren’t pointing it out, but it’s gently rounded. There’s a faint black line that stretches from her belly button down. She stares up at me with tired eyes, and I feel in that moment that she’s about an eyelash away from crying. Angela Zerbino, on the edge of tears.
“So,” she says softly. “Now you know.”
“Oh, Ange …” I keep shaking my head, because there’s no way that this could be true.
“I’ve already talked to Dr. Day, and three or four people in administration. I’m going to see if I can make it through winter quarter, since I’m not due for a while, and then take a leave of absence. They tell me that it won’t be any problem. Stanford will be here when I decide to come back; that’s the policy when it comes to these types of situations.” She gives me a look that’s trying hard to be brave. “I’m going to go back to Jackson and live with my mom. It’s all worked out.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I breathe.
She lowers her head, rests her hand lightly on her belly. “I guess I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want you to look at me the way you’re looking at me right now. Telling people makes it real.”
“Who’s the father?” I ask.
Her expression smoothes itself in perfect composure again. “Pierce. We had this night a couple months ago, just something that happened, and we’ve been kind of on again/off again since then.”
She’s lying. I can feel it like she has a neon sign that says LYING flashing over her head.
“You think people are going to believe that?” I ask.
“Why wouldn’t they?” she asks sharply. “It’s the truth.”
I sigh.
“For one thing, Ange, you can’t really get away with lying to me. I’m an empath. And secondly, even if I wasn’t an empath, Pierce is the PHE.”
“What does that have to do with anything?” She’s not looking at me now.
“He’s the guy who gave out the safe-sex pamphlets during orientation. He’s got a dorm’s worth supply of condoms stashed in his room. And—”
She pulls her shirt back down. “Get out,” she says, almost a whisper.
“Ange, wait.”
She stands up and crosses to the door, holds it open for me. “I don’t need this from you right now.”
“Ange, I only want to hel—”
“Sounds like you’ve got your own stuff going on,” she says, still not looking at me. “You should worry about that.”
“But what about your purpose?” I say. “What about ‘the seventh is ours’ and the guy in the gray suit?”
“Don’t talk about my purpose,” she says fiercely between clenched teeth.
Then she shuts the door in my face.
I wander to the Old Union in a daze, sink to a bench next to the Claw fountain in White Plaza. I sit there, staring at the falling water, until the sun is much lower in the sky. People are all around me, coming and going from the CoHo on their search for coffee. I don’t hear them. I only hear the fear in Angela’s voice.
I’m pregnant.
This is how Christian finds me, dazed and silent on the bench. He takes one look at me and drops to his knees in front of me, peers up into my face.
“Clara?” Clara? What’s wrong?
I blink, look into his worried green eyes. Should I tell him?
I don’t have a choice. He can read the shocked thought like I’m shouting it. His mouth drops open.
“She’s …” He can’t even finish the sentence.
My eyes burn. What is she going to do? I keep thinking. What is she going to do?
Christian puts his hand over mine.