“Sorry,” he mutters, but he’s not very sorry at all. “So, uh … back to your vision. And why you kept it to yourself this long. Because that, I’m pretty sure, you are allowed to tell me.”
I’m relieved to be off the subject of Angela, although the vision stuff is not any easier to talk about. I sigh.
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to be having a vision,” I confess. “Not right now.”
He nods like he understands, but I get a flicker of pain from him.
“I’m sorry I didn’t say something about it earlier,” I say. “I should have.”
“I didn’t tell you mine, either,” he says. “For basically the same reason. I wanted to be a regular college student for a little while. Act like I have a normal life.” He gazes up through the windshield into the peach-colored sky. A vee of ducks is cutting its way across the horizon, heading south. We watch the birds ride the air. I wait for him to start talking again.
“It’s ironic,” he says. “You’ve been having a vision of dark, and I’ve been having a vision of light.”
“What do you mean?”
“All I can see is light. I don’t know where I am. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing. Just light. It took me a few times to figure out what it is.”
I’m holding my breath. “What what is?”
“The light.” He looks over at me. “It’s a sword.”
My mouth drops open. “A sword?”
“A flaming sword.”
“Shut the front door,” I gasp.
He does his laugh/exhale thing. “At first all I could think was, How great is this? I’m wielding a flaming sword. A sword made of fire. Awesome, right?” His smile fades. “But then I started thinking about what it could mean, and when I told my uncle about it this summer, he completely freaked out. He started me doing push-ups on the spot.”
“But why?”
“Because obviously I’m going to have to fight.” He clasps his hands together behind his neck and sighs.
“Who?” I’m almost afraid to ask.
“I have no idea.” He drops his hands, his smile mournful as he looks at me. “But Walter is trying to make sure that I’m prepared for whoever it is.” He shrugs.
“Wow,” I say. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well, we’re kidding ourselves if we think we’re ever going to be allowed to lead normal lives, aren’t we?” he says.
Silence. Finally I say, “We’ll figure it out, Christian.”
He nods, but there’s something else that’s bothering him, a grief that reverberates through me and makes me look up to meet his eyes. Then I know without having to ask that Walter’s dying and that it’s the one-hundred-and-twenty-years rule.
“Oh, Christian. When?” I whisper.
Soon. A few months, is his best guess. He doesn’t want me to be there, he says silently, because he doesn’t think he’ll be able to say it out loud. It hurts him so much, Walter telling him to stay away, the idea that he might never get to spend time with him again. He doesn’t want me to see him like that.
I understand. At the end my mom was so weak she couldn’t even walk to the bathroom. That was one of the worst parts of it, the indignity of it all. Her body giving out. Giving up.
I scoot over and slip my hand into his, which startles him. The familiar electricity passes between us, making me feel stronger. Braver. I rest my head on his shoulder. I try to comfort him the way he’s always managed to comfort me.
I’m right here, I tell him. I’m not going anywhere. For what it’s worth.
“Thanks.”
“Forget all the gloom-and-doom stuff,” I say after a while. “Let’s just live a little.”
“Okay. Sounds like a plan.”
I pull away, glance at the clock on the dashboard. Seven forty-five—plenty of time, I think. I know something that will make us both feel better.
“Where are we off to now?” Christian asks.
“You’ll like it,” I say, starting the car. “I promise.”
An hour later I park the car near the visitor center at Big Basin Redwoods State Park and hop out.