She shakes her head. “I like children, but I don’t think I want to have my own. I’d worry too much. I don’t want to love something that much and then have it taken away.” She looks off across the valley, embarrassed by how much she’s given away about herself. “I don’t know if I can be happy in that life. Housewife. Mother. It’s not for me.”
It’s quiet for a minute while I try to think of something smart to say, and miraculously, I hit on it. “Maybe you shouldn’t look at it in terms of whether or not you’ll be happy as this guy’s wife, but if being his wife is true to the kind of person you want to be. We think of happiness as something we can take. But usually it comes from being content with what we have, and accepting ourselves.”
Happiness class is coming in handy, at last.
She looks over at me sharply. “How old are you, again?”
“Eighteen. Sort of. How old are you?” I ask with a grin, because I already know the answer. I’ve done the math. When Dad asked her to marry him, she was ninety-nine.
She reddens. “Older than that.” She sighs. “I don’t want to become someone else simply because it’s what’s expected of me.”
“So don’t. Be more,” I say.
“What did you say?” she asks.
“Be more than what’s expected of you. Look beyond that. Choose your own purpose.”
At the word purpose, her eyes narrow on my face. “Who are you?”
“Clara,” I answer. “I told you.”
“No.” She gets up, walks to the edge of the rock. “Who are you, really?”
I stand and stare at her, meeting her eyes. Time to show my hand, I think. I swallow.
“I’m your daughter,” I say. “Yeah, it’s kind of weird to see you, too,” I continue, as her face goes sheet white. “What’s today’s date, anyway? I’ve been dying to know ever since I saw your outfit.”
“It’s July tenth,” she says dazedly. “1989. What are you playing at? Who sent you?”
“Nobody. I guess I was missing you, and then I crossed through time by accident. Dad said I would see you again, when I needed it most. I guess this is what he meant.” I take a step forward. “I really am your daughter.”
She shakes her head. “Stop saying that. It’s not possible.”
I hold up my arms, shrug. “And yet here I am.”
“No,” she says, but I can see her scrutinizing my face in an entirely different way, seeing my nose as her nose, the shape of my face, my eyebrows, my ears. Uncertainty flickers in her eyes. Then panic. I start to get worried that she might jump off this rock and fly to get away from me.
“This is a trick,” she says.
“Oh yeah? And what I am trying to trick you into?”
“You want me to …”
“Marry Dad?” I fill in. “You think he—Michael, my father, an angel of the Lord and all that—wants to trap you into a marriage that you don’t want to be in?” I sigh. “Look, I know this is surreal. It feels strange to me too, like any minute I might disappear like I was never born, which would be a total bummer, if you know what I mean. But I don’t care, really. I’m so glad to see you. I’ve missed you. So much. Can’t we just … talk about it? I’m going to be born on June 20, 1994.” I take a slow step toward her.
“Don’t,” she says sharply.
“I don’t know how to convince you.” I stop and think about it. Then I hold up my hands. “We have the same hands,” I say. “Look. The exact same. See how your ring finger is slightly longer than your index finger? Mine too. You always joked that it was a sign of great intelligence. And I have this big vein that goes horizontally across the right one, which I think looks kind of weird, but you have that too. So I guess we’re weird together.”
She stares at her hands.
“I think I should sit down,” she says, and drops heavily to sit on the rock.
I crouch next to her.
“Clara,” she whispers. “What’s your last name?”
“Gardner. I think it’s what Dad chooses as his mortal surname, but I’m not sure, actually. Clara, by the way, was like the most popular girl’s name in something like 1910, but not so much since then. Thanks for that.”
She stifles a smile. “I like the name Clara.”
“Do you want me to tell you my middle name, or can you come up with it on your own?”