“Because I can’t do this without you. I need our strength, Christian.”
He looks cornered. This is his worst nightmare come to life, I realize. “And what do you think will happen if we make it, if we get Angela out of there? You think they’ll stand idly by? They’ll come after us with a vengeance after that.”
I hadn’t given much thought to what would happen after we got out. I was too busy imagining Angela’s grateful tears, the joyous hugs, the “woo-hoo, we’re out of hell” feeling.
But he’s right. They will come after us. We won’t be able to go back to a normal life then, either. It won’t change our fate, not that way. It can only make things worse.
Christian sees the realization on my face. “We’re here, Clara. We’re safe, at least for the moment.”
I bite my lip. “But Angela’s in hell.”
His eyes are sad, resigned. “You can’t save everybody, Clara. Some things are beyond our ability to change.”
Like Jeffrey. Or my mom dying. Or being with Tucker.
“No,” I whisper. “What about the vision?”
He gives a bitter little laugh. “When did you become so faithful all of a sudden?”
It hurts, him saying that, but I’ll take it. And what I realize in this moment is that it’s his fate, too. It’s his choice. I can’t make it for him.
“I understand if you don’t want to do it,” I say then. On impulse I reach up and hook my hand behind his neck, draw myself into his arms for a hug. I let his warmth infuse me, and mine pour back into him.
When I pull away, his eyes are shining.
“If I don’t go, you can’t either,” he says. “He won’t take you.”
Oh, Christian, I think. Always trying to keep me out of trouble.
“I’ll see you at midnight at the train station,” I say. “Or I won’t. But I really hope I will.”
I kiss his cheek, and then leave him alone with the stained-glass angels.
Later I review my mental before-you-go-to-hell checklist: Make sure Web is somewhere safe—check. Tell Christian your plan, hope he doesn’t freak out too much—sort of check. And now I have to try to find my brother. The idea that Lucy knows about him, and has sworn to take revenge on me, has me near panic every time I think about it.
As usual, I start at the pizza place. Since the night at the Garter I’ve been calling like crazy, trying to reach him, but he’s never been there.
“He quit,” the manager informs me now, clearly ticked off. “He didn’t give notice or anything. He just stopped showing up about a week ago.”
“Do you know where he lives?” I ask.
The manager shrugs. “He always biked to work, even in bad weather. If you see him, tell him we need our uniform back.”
“I’ll tell him,” I say, but there’s a sick feeling in my stomach that I’m not going to get that chance anytime soon.
I wander around my old neighborhood, trying to think of where to look for him next. It feels like déjà vu, looking for my brother, the way we did last summer in the first weeks when he was gone. My inclination is to start at my old house, work my way out from there. I call Billy.
“How’s Web?” I ask, unable to help myself.
“He’s good. He smiled at me. I’ll text you the picture.”
My heart squeezes. Angela’s missing it.
“Hey, you asked the people who moved into our old house if they’d seen Jeffrey around, didn’t you? Last June?” I ask.
“First place I checked,” she answers. “A real pretty girl lived there, too. Long, black hair. She said she knew Jeffrey, from back when they were in school together, but she hadn’t seen him.”
“Did she give you her name?” I ask, my heart starting to beat fast. A pretty girl. Long black hair. Who’d gone to school with Jeffrey.
“L something,” Billy says. “Let me think.”
“Lucy?” I manage to get out.