Even so, things hadn’t worked out quite as she wished. While they accepted her friendship they continued to believe strongly that eventually there would be something more. They were so eager and awkward and funny about it. Each tried to outdo the other. Each made a special effort to lift his profile above the other’s so that he would be seen differently in her eyes.
She gave a mental shake of her head. Hopeless. One day soon, she would have to do something about it.
A shadow moved in the darkness to one side and Austrum appeared, moving over to her. She was surprised and immediately irritated, but she resisted the urge to get up and leave. He sat down and for a moment said nothing.
“Why is it you dislike me so,” he asked finally.
She rolled her eyes. “I don’t dislike you.”
“You work hard enough at making it seem like you do.”
She sighed wearily and faced him. “I just don’t like it that you taunt me all the time. I don’t need you trying to prove you’re better than I am at everything. And if you’re so worried about me not liking you, then don’t call me terrible names.”
He nodded, looking at her sideways for just a second. “I was wrong to call you that. I lost my temper. I thought you were trying to make me look foolish about the contest when you demanded we continue and then said we couldn’t. I reacted without thinking. I didn’t mean it. Any of it.”
“But it hurt.”
He shifted slightly in the dark. It was difficult to see his face. “I won’t do it again. I promise. I’ll tell everyone I was wrong to do it this time. Will that help?”
“Just don’t do it again.”
“I said I wouldn’t.”
“Maybe you should just stay away from me for a while.”
The silence was longer this time. He seemed to be mulling over the idea, giving it weight. Finally, he locked his hands and pulled his knees up to his chest like a little boy caught out.
“I like you. I think you’re beautiful. You’re funny and smart. I feel good just being around you. I wanted you to notice me. So I teased you and did stupid things so that you would. I’m not very good at this courting business. I don’t really have any practice.” He finished abruptly and kept his eyes averted.
“You’re courting me?” she asked in amazement.
He nodded wordlessly.
She was stunned. “Why would you court me? You don’t even like me! Look how you behave around me!”
“I said I wasn’t very good at it.”
She stared at him. Big, strong, and handsome, he was someone she might be attracted to under different circumstances—although she couldn’t think what those circumstances would be. Maybe if she didn’t think him so hopelessly idiotic and dense. Maybe if they were in a different setting and not wandering the wilderness of the deep Westland. She was almost willing to concede that she had been wrong about his self-absorption, given the self-effacing way he had tried to explain his behavior, but she couldn’t think of any reason why telling him this or otherwise encouraging him would be a good idea.
“I’m not interested in being courted by you or anyone else, Austrum,” she said. “I just want you to leave me alone. I appreciate the apology. Now do what you said and don’t keep after me all the time.”
He looked confused. “What about those twins? You seem to want them to court you.”
“Redden and Railing are friends from way back. That’s all.”
He shook his head. “They don’t look at you like they’re just friends.”
She’d had enough. She put a finger into his chest. “I want you to go sit somewhere else. Right now.”
He hesitated, looked down at her finger, then looked up again and smiled. He got to his feet without a word and walked off.
That had been entirely too easy, she thought, watching after him, and wondered why it bothered her.