His eyes trace the slide of my tongue, making me selfconscious. I tuck my lips in, hiding them from the singeing heat of his glance.
“Really?” he asks with a husky chuckle. “You’re too smart to be confused by something so simple.”
His other hand cups the nape of my neck, subtly pulling me closer.
“No mixed signals, Banner.” He lowers his head to breathe the next words over my lips. “Just this one.”
Doing laundry the last few years, I understand static electricity—the charge produced when things rub against each other. I didn’t even realize we’d been rubbing against each other all semester in some form or fashion; the clash of our wills, the meeting of our minds, and now our lips rub together. Our tongues move in tandem. We cling.
He possesses my mouth. There’s no other way to say it. As much a command as it is a kiss. I’ve never been kissed this way. His thumb presses my chin so my lips open wider, and he storms in. It doesn’t feel like a first kiss. There’s nothing uncertain or tentative about the way he fits his lips over mine. He kisses me like he’s rehearsed it a thousand times.
And God help me, after a startled gasp, I kiss him back. The heat between our mouths burns through my shock like a flame eating through wax, and he quickly reaches the wick—the very end of my hesitation. He flattens his hand between my breasts while we kiss, and though he’s nowhere near my nipples, they peak. Tight and hard and sensitive, anticipating the possibility of his touch. His other hand angles my head back, and he plumbs the depths of my mouth, licking inside, stroking my tongue with his. He traps my hair in his fist and pulls, growling into the kiss.
What the actual fuck?
It’s so intense. It’s deeper and hotter and on the edge of what I can handle. His hunger grabs me, holds me so tight for a moment I can’t breathe.
“Jared,” I mumble against his mouth, pull back and touch my throbbing lips. “Slow down. I . . . it’s a lot.”
His forehead crashes against mine, his hand still at my neck and his fingers wedged into my hair.
“Shit,” he breathes. “Sorry. I’ve just been thinking about this for a long time. It’s hard to go slow.”
I’m struggling to keep up. This golden boy from the upper reaches of Kerrington’s social stratosphere, whom I’ve been secretly crushing on—for not one year, not two years, but three, even while I was dating the last jerk—has been thinking about kissing me for a long time? For so long that it’s hard to go slow?
“Sorry,” I say dazedly. “This feels like The Twilight Zone.”
“The Twilight Zone?”
“Yeah, it was this show that—”
“Banner, I know what The Twilight Zone is, but why does it feel that way to you? Is it because we’ve known each other all semester and I’m just now making a move? The first day we met in Albright’s class—”
“We didn’t first meet in Albright’s class,” I cut in. “We met four years ago.”
“What?” He frowns. “No, I would have remembered.”
No, he wouldn’t.
“Obviously, you don’t.” My laugh is soft, selfconscious. “We met at freshman orientation. All the girls were squealing about you and Benton Carter. I want the blond one. I’ll take the one with dark hair.”
I drop my eyes to the floor.
“I sat right beside you,” I tell him. “And you asked to borrow a pencil.”
“I don’t remember any of this, but I do remember the first day I noticed you in Albright’s class.”
He looks at me, a dark blue direct assault.
“And I’ve been noticing you ever since,” he adds. “I thought we’d have more time, but when you said you’d be in New York next semester, I realized this might be our last night here together, and I couldn’t wait any more.”
“For me? You couldn’t wait for me?” Despite the wondrous words coming out of his mouth, I still have to ask. To be sure. “I’m sorry, but I’m so confused.”
“Still?” Something close to irritation mixes with the humor in his eyes.
He slides wide palms down my arms, gently squeezing the muscles through the heavy cotton of my sweatshirt.
“Then let me make it abundantly clear,” he says, his voice husky and sure. “I like you, Banner.”
Guys like him, not only this good-looking but also brilliant, have that one girl in college they date for the sake of their brain. It assures them they aren’t entirely superficial. When that girl is a CEO, cures cancer, or is the first woman on Mars, they can say I knew her when. I dated her . . . nay, I fucked her . . . when.
I was that girl to my last boyfriend, Byron. He dated me while he needed help getting through his Econ class, but that wore off. He cheated on me before the ink was dry on his final exam. I grew up with a father who never looked at another woman besides my mother and made faithfulness look good. Look possible, normal. So I have a zero tolerance cheat policy. When I discovered Byron’s infidelity and dumped him, he felt insulted that I, who should have been grateful he’d deigned to date me, ended it.
I could barely breathe when she was on top.
Everything jiggled when I fucked her.
Those are his cruel words I overheard. He said worse things that I didn’t hear for myself but got back to me and still haunt my thoughts. Still nick my confidence.
“You like me, huh?” I finally ask, training my glance on his chin, avoiding his eyes. “You mean in an ‘I think you’re smart and have a great personality’ way?”
A muscle along his jawline flexes and his lips tighten. He pulls me into him, and he’s big and hard through his jeans.
“No, I mean in an ‘I want to fuck you’ kind of way,” he says sharply. “Any other questions?”
My heart stops beating for a microsecond and then rushes out of the blocks, sprinting so far ahead my brain can’t catch up.
“Tonight?” I press my hand to my chest, hoping to soothe the rapid rate.