I slide my hands under my love and lift her up off the floor. Her arms lace around my neck while I walk her over to the kitchen island and set her down.
“I’ve tried to be patient with you, love, but if you’re sick you need to tell me,” I beg, scanning her body up and down to see if I can figure out what ails her.
“It’s just morning sickness, Tiernan. Women don’t die from it. It just sucks throwing up all the time.”
“Morning sickness?” I repeat, puzzled, not fully understanding what she’s saying, but as I do, she picks up my hand, places a kiss to its center, and then places the white gadget she had been fiddling with earlier in my grip.
“What’s this?”
“It’s a pregnancy test, Tiernan. You’re going to be a daddy.”
“Are you serious?” I exclaim in utter glee and excitement, completely taken aback by how this news just brought with it new hope.
“I am, husband.”
I grab her face and look into her big brown eyes, sadness as well as joy all mixed in together.
“I thought this was what you wanted,” I utter in confusion.
“It was. It is.” She shakes her head. “Starting a family with you is a dream come true, but I can’t pretend that there isn’t something missing.”
“Fuck, acushla! Not this shit again!” I shout and then hate myself when she flinches away from me. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s just I thought when this day came, we would be happy. You would be happy.”
“And I am,” she says softly. “But I feel like I’ve been cheated out of the happiness that I could have felt today. And that’s because of you. Your pride and ego are killing us. Are killing the life we could have had. This baby could have been surrounded by pure love, and now all he’ll know is resentment.”
“You resent me?” I ask, hurt like she’s just slapped me across the face.
“Not yet. But I will.” She lowers her head in sadness.
“I can’t live in a world where you resent me, acushla. I’d die first before I’d let that happen.”
“Then change. Submit to me, my king. Show me that you can kneel at my feet as I have done for you since the moment we met. Give me what I want, the future that should be ours, and I promise you won’t regret your decision. My future,” she exclaims, pressing my palm to her belly, “our future happiness is in your hands. All you have to do is take it.”
I stare into her watery abyss, witnessing the solemn truth embedded in her eyes, and realizing for the first time that submission is the only way I can keep her—keep them both.
It’s true what I told her. I’d rather die than have her hate me, resent me in any way. It’s also true that I’ve given her more than one reason to treat me with such animosity. But she never once showed signs that there was even a chance that she had given up on me. It was only when I refused to give her Colin and Shay that her heart started to turn to stone. If there is any chance that I can save our marriage, save us, then there is only one road I can take. I will not let my child be born into a loveless home. I refuse to steal its happiness. I know all too well what the repercussions of a sad, hopeless life can do to a person. I will not be the reason why the people I love most suffer.
With new resolve, I keep my hand on her belly and kneel down, bowing my head in surrender.
“Tá mo chroí istigh iona,” I confess in a whisper. “I know I’ve lost my way, love, but I promise you from here on out, I will make it my mission to uphold our marriage vows and love you like you deserve. If sharing you is how you’ll bloom and open your heart to me, then that’s what I’ll do. My heart lives in you, acushla, and it always will.”
She slowly slides off the kitchen island and lifts my chin to look at her.
“Stand up, my love. My king. My Hades,” she sings softly, her eyes shining with love. “The only time I take pleasure in seeing you on your knees is when your head is in between my thighs. Stand up, Tiernan.”
I kiss her belly and get up to my feet, cupping her face in my hands.
“I love you, wife. You know that, don’t you?”
She kisses the inside of my wrist and then melts into my caress.
“I do now. I love you, Tiernan. With all my heart.”
I press my temple to hers and inhale her scent.
“I can’t believe we’re going to be parents.”
“Believe it, my love. It’s the first of many.”
“Is that so?” I tease, kissing the corner of her lips. “Then I guess it’s a good thing I’ll have Shay and Col to help me then.”
The genuine smile that crests her lips and the utter devotion that twinkles in her eyes fill my cold heart with bursting light, warming me from the inside out. If all I had was a sliver of her love, then this shows me what a fool I’d be to not be content with it.
“Tell you what? After the doctor has made sure that you and the baby are okay and gives you something to ease your nausea, how about we go over to my parents and tell them the good news? Shay will be thrilled with the groveling I’m about to do, and I suspect Colin will, too.”
“I sure don’t mind seeing you sweat for a while, husband,” she teases, rubbing her nose against mine.
“Aye, I guess you wouldn’t. But make a note of this day, wife. I doubt I’ll grovel like I’m about to ever again.”
“We’ll see about that. Don’t think you’re off the hook for the hell you put us through this month, husband. I expect a lot of groveling in the near future.”
“If that’s what I need to do, then so be it. As long as you forgive me.”
“You’re already forgiven. Doesn’t mean I won’t make you work for it.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you, acushla.”
When Rosa steps inside my parents’ house, Shay rushes towards us, wrapping his arms around my wife, afraid that she’s some false mirage sprung from his heartache. He breathes her in, coming close to tears at how much he’s missed her and how happy he is that they are now reunited. Colin leans against the door frame, biding his time until Shay lets go and he can have his turn.
Guilt rears its ugly head again at how cruel I was to keep her from the both of them. If the roles had been reversed, I don’t know how I would have handled it.