There is a certain degree of torture to this. I want it to stop so I can gather my scattered senses before I say something I don't mean like, Yes, I'll move in with you.
'I love your back.' His lips vibrate against my skin, generating even more shudders. He moves his mouth back to my ear. 'You have the softest skin.'
My head rolls back onto his shoulder and my face turns into his neck. He adjusts his head so his lips find mine as he hooks his hands into the front of my dress and pushes it down my body.
'Lace?' he asks.
I nod my answer, and his eyes sparkle with lust as he kisses me gently, like I'm glass. Our tongues slip and slide over each other with little effort from either of us, and I lean back onto him for support. I'm relishing in his gentleness and soft touch.
His hands find my breasts and he pinches my nipples through the lace of my bra, elongating them to firm peaks.
'See what you do to me?' He grinds his hips into my lower back, demonstrating exactly what I do to him, before dropping a chaste kiss on my lips. 'I'll die loving you, Ava.'
I know how he feels. I don't see a future without him in it, and I'm excited and apprehensive about it all at once. It's the unknown. He is still unknown. I need more than his body, his attention...his challenging ways.
He yanks the cups of my bra down, exposing my breasts, and skims the flats of his palms over the tips of my nipples. 'You and me.' he breathes in my ear, sliding one of his hands down my front and straight to the apex of my thighs.
My knees wobble when his hand cups me over my underwear, a deluge of liquid fire descending on me, my hips rolling forward against his hand to get more friction.
'Do I turn you on, Ava?'
'You know you do.' I pant, and then moan as he thrusts his hips forward.
'Wrap your arms around my neck.' he says quietly. I reach back and link my hands behind his neck. 'Are you wet for me?'
'Yes.'
He hooks his thumbs in each side of my knickers. 'Only for me.' he whispers, dragging his tongue lightly down the edge of my ear.
'Only for you.' I agree quietly. I need nothing else except for him.
I feel a sharp tug and a tear, and I look to see my knickers hanging from his index finger in front of me. He lets them slide off the end of his finger and takes his other hand to my hip.
I jerk slightly, and he laughs in my ear. His fingers shift as his big hand wraps around my hip, spreading from my front to my back, his other hand hovering in front of me.
'What shall I do with this, Ava?' He flexes his good hand in front of me. 'Show me.'
My hammering heart does nothing to regulate my short, sharp breaths. I want that hand on me. I remove my arm from around his neck and reach forward to take his hand, slowly guiding it down to the inside of my thigh and flattening his palm against my flesh with my hand over his. I feel him trembling faintly. I'm glad it's not just me who is so affected by these encounters of ours. Or is he shaking because he needs a drink? I can't even think about that. He doesn't need alcohol if he's got me. Well, he has me.
I start applying pressure on his hand and drawing up until his flat palm glides over my sex, the moisture ensuring it travels with ease. I gasp, my hips whipping back and colliding with his groin, provoking a moan to escape his lips and my head to fall back. I need him to kiss me.
I turn my face into him, and he takes my hint, brushing his lips across mine. My teeth clamp down lightly on his bottom lip and I pull back to let it slowly drag through my grip, his eyes locked on mine as I continue to work his hand up and down in a slow, steady caress.
'Don't come.' His voice is rough.
I immediately withdraw his hand and bring it up to his mouth and he watches me as he runs his tongue straight down the centre and onto his fingers. Oh Lord, I'm desperate for him, but I can't disobey him - not during these moments.
My bra is unclasped and I'm turned to face him before he brushes my hair back with his hand. 'Promise me you'll never leave me.'
I look up into his troubled eyes. I can't get used to this unsure part of him. I don't like it, but he's asking at least, not demanding. 'I'll never leave you.'
'Promise me.'
'I promise.' I take his wrists one at a time and undo the cuffs of his shirt, then push it from his shoulders. He lets his arms hang by his side, his head dropped to watch me as I undo the button and zipper of his trousers. My palms slide around his hips and under his boxers to drag his trousers and underwear over the tight, smooth flesh of his arse and down his thighs, his thick, pulsing length jutting straight out from his hips invitingly. It triggers all sorts of desperate wants in me, not helped by his abdominals rippling under my touch as I skate my hands up his torso, marveling in his beauty.
'I can't wait anymore. I need to be inside you.' He steps free of his trousers and lifts me to him, my legs wrapping around him. I flinch when his cock brushes against my slickness as he carries me towards the wall.
I'm pushed up against the cold paint, feeling the hot, slippery crown of his erection pushing at my opening, breaching my entrance only a little. He breathes heavily and lets his head fall into my neck as if preparing himself for his invasion of me. I can't wait. I swivel my hips and bore down on him, taking him all the way.
'Oh, you f*cking kill me.' he moans as he stills inside me.
I want to tilt my hips and instigate movement, but I know from the jolting and twitching of him inside me that he's holding back. I keep still and sweep my hands through his dark blonde hair while he gathers himself, his heart pounding so hard I can almost hear it.
'Are you holding onto me?' He brings his face up to mine.
'Yes.' I weave my fingers together around his neck and tighten my thighs.
He growls with approval and releases his hands from my back, planting them onto the wall on either side of me. He slowly eases back on a steady breath, then plunges forward on a sharp exhale.
I moan, the sensation of his hot, throbbing assault of me having me shifting my hands and clawing at his back. Resting his forehead against mine, he slowly begins rocking in and out of me.
I sigh on every plunge as he works me up steadily. Oh f*cking hell, he feels so good. My grip begins to slip on his sweat dampened skin, our breath mingling together in the close space between our mouths.
'Kiss me.' he gasps, and I push my lips to his mouth, tackling his tongue. I feel a scream bubbling in my throat as he rears back and pushes forward sending me sliding up the wall. I clench my thighs to lift myself further and then bore down on him. 'Good God, woman. What the hell do you do to me?' He thrusts forward again and again, pushing me up the wall, swallowing my small cries as he kisses the life out of me. 'I've waited all day for this.' He hits me with another thrust. 'It's been the longest f*cking day of my life.'
'Hmmm, you feel so good.' I'm reveling in his attention.
'I feel good? F*ck, Ava, you do serious things to me.' He bucks forward.
'Jesse!' I'm a despairing wreck. The calm smooth motions are fading fast, being replaced with firmer, more aggressive strikes.
'Ava, wherever I'm going from now on, I'm taking you with me, baby.'
Thrust!
Holy Shit, I'm struggling here. My nails dig harshly into his flesh.
'Shit, Ava!' He fires into me, beads of his sweat dripping onto me. 'You're going to come.'
'Hard!'
He mumbles in my mouth. I can't hold back anymore. He strikes with ferocious power and I snap, the coils of pleasure peaking and firing off, my nails sinking into his flesh, my teeth gripping his lip harshly. I drop my forehead to his damp, salty skin where his neck meets his shoulder and rock my head from side to side as I jerk uncontrollably against his big body.
'Ava!' he shouts, as he pulls back and then smashes forward, slowly withdrawing before hammering into me again, finding his own release as wave after wave of contractions sweep through me.
He moans, then sinks us to the floor and falls onto his back, heaving and sweating. I drag myself up and sit astride of him, planting my hands on his slick chest and gently grinding myself on his hips. His arms fall back over his head as he looks up and watches me work us both down. We are both wet, out of breath and thoroughly satisfied. I'm exactly where I should be.
'What are you thinking about?' he puffs, looking up at me.
'About how much I love you.' I tell him the truth.
His lips curve at the corners and a look of pure satisfaction spreads across his handsome face 'Do I still qualify as your God?'
'Always. Am I still your temptress?' I grin and circle my hands on his chest.
'That, baby, you most certainly are. God, I love your grin.' He gives me his own roguish one.
I reach down and pinch his nipples. 'Bath, God?'
He jolts upright, nearly head-butting me in the process. 'Shit! It's still running!' He jumps up with me still in his arms and still buried inside me, hissing as he grips me too hard with his bad hand.
'Put me down!' I try to peel my body away from his, but he just increases his grip.
'Never.' He takes us into the bathroom where we find the huge bath is not even three quarters of the way full. He reaches over to the waterfall tap and flips it off.
'You could leave that bath running for a week and it wouldn't be full.' I say as he steps in and lowers us down.
'I know. The designer of all this Italian shit obviously has no regard for the environment or my carbon footprint.'
'Says he with twelve superbikes.' I quip, and then sigh happily as I'm sunk into the lovely relaxing water, still astride his lap, still full to the hilt with his semi-erect cock. 'I could look at you all day.' I muse to myself, tracing my fingers from side to side across his abdomen.
He lays back and lets me have my way. I run my fingertip over every square inch of his hard, lightly tanned chest, swirling and flicking as I go. The silence is comfortable as he watches my delicate touch skating all over him. I work my way up to his neck, his chin, his lips and they part, his eyes twinkling as I lower myself to rest on his chest, my mouth meeting his.
'I love your mouth.' I say, dropping kisses all the way around the edges of his lips until I'm back to where I started. 'I love your body.' My hands drift down his arms, my tongue slipping into his mouth. 'I love your crazy mind too.' I coax his tongue from his mouth and lap gently as I trail my hands back up his arms until my palms wrap around his neck and my body arches into him.
He moans. 'You make me crazy, Ava. Just you.'
I feel his big palms slide up my back until he's cupping the back of my head and pushing me into him, our mouths continuing to work each other slowly, our bodies slipping against each other slightly. I know I make him crazy, but he makes me crazy too.
I pull back and look at my crazy man. 'Crazy.' I mouth.
'ish,' He smiles and lifts me from his lap, turning me until I'm sat between his parted thighs. 'Let me wash you.' He grabs the sponge and starts squeezing the hot water all over me, resting his cheek against the side of my head. 'I need to talk to you about something.' he says quietly. There is no mistaking his apprehension.
I tense all over. I don't like the sound of this, which is quite hilarious because I've been willing him to talk. 'What?'
'The Manor,'
Okay, now I'm prickling from head to toe and it's bloody obvious, which is even more hilarious because I've been wanting him to talk about this specifically. But his approach tells me I'm not going to like whatever is going to come from his mouth. He has ceased squeezing warm water over me, and I can literally hear those f*cking cogs clanking around in his handsome head. What about The Manor? I do not like the direction of tub talk today. I want to get out and have a shower.
'The Anniversary Party.' The worry is clear in his tone and it bloody should be. I'm not going.
'What about it?' I ask nonchalantly. I'm not going to get myself worked up because I really, really am not ever, not in a million years, going. Never - no way. I want to turn myself back over, lay on his chest and put my lips back on his so he can't talk.
'I still want you to come.'
'You can't ask me to do that.' I say calmly, but I'm feeling a little angry that he would even suggest such a stupid thing. Hang on...I agreed to this before I knew what The Manor really was, and Kate did too. Is she still going? I cringe. Bloody hell, she will as well. 'You asked me to go before I knew.'
'I gave myself a deadline to tell you.' he says quietly.
'Oh.' I don't know what to say. I found out before his time was up.
'Are you going to avoid my workplace forever?' he asks sarcastically. I don't appreciate his tone of voice - not in the slightest.
'I might do.' I retort. Work place? Is he f*cking kidding me?
'Don't be stupid, Ava.' He recommences soaking me in water and presses a kiss to my temple. 'Will you please just think about it?'
I sigh tiredly. 'I'm making no promises, and if you even think about trying to f*ck some sense into me on this, I'm leaving.' I threaten. I'm being completely dramatic, but I want him to know how much I don't want to go. The Manor anniversary party? Never.
He nuzzles my ear and wraps his legs around the outside of mine. 'I want the woman with me who keeps my heart beating.'
Oh God! That's emotional blackmail if ever there was any. How the hell can I say no to that? Damn you, Jesse Ward, of an age I don't know.
I let him continue to wash me while I think about using this to my advantage. Maybe I could negotiate his age from him in return for my presence at The Manor's anniversary party. I'll think carefully about how much I want to know his age compared to how much I don't want to go to the party. That's a tricky one.
'Did you speak to Clive?' I ask. I know he hasn't. I'm being sneaky.
'About what?'
'The mystery woman.'
'No, Ava, I didn't have time. I promise you I will ask, though. I'm just as curious as you are. Now, are you hungry?' He circles his tongue around my ear. It could send me to sleep. At least he hasn't lied about talking to Clive.
'Yes.' I answer on a yawn. I'm famished. And tired too, but I'm not giving in. 'I'm not going to sleep until you tell me who that woman was.'
'How can I tell you if I don't know?'
'You do know.'
'I don't f*cking know!'
I jump at his harshness, and then feel his arms lock tighter around me. 'I'm sorry.'
'Okay.' I say quietly. But it's not. I'll speak to Clive in the morning.
'My lovely lady is exhausted.' he whispers. 'Take away?' He bites at my earlobe, smoothing the soles of his feet down my shins.
'You have a fridge full of food, it's a waste.'
'Well, can you be bothered to cook?' he asks.
No, I can't, but I notice he doesn't offer. Then again, he has openly admitted that cooking is one of the only things he's crap at. What were his words? Oh yes...I can't be amazing at everything. He was serious as well, the arrogant arse.
'Take away.' I agree.
He shifts under me. 'I'll go and order, you wash your hair.' He lifts himself out of the bath and leaves me in the massive tub by myself. I watch his wet nakedness stroll out of the bathroom, returning a few moments later with some women's shampoo and conditioner. I'm eternally grateful. My poor hair has been mistreated way too much lately. He gives me a grin and leans down to kiss my forehead. 'Wear lace.' He disappears out of the bathroom and I fall back in the tub, closing my eyes for a while and savouring the quiet and peaceful surroundings of the colossal master bathroom of Lusso. How did I end up here?
I stretch myself out and I'm immediately aware of Jesse's absence in the bed. Propping myself up on my elbows, I spy him sat on the chaise lounge, bending down.
Oh no!
I lay back down as quietly as I possibly can and shut my eyes. He might not have noticed I woke - if I'm lucky. After a few silent moments, I feel the bed dip, but I keep my eyes firmly shut, silently begging him to leave me alone.
An age of me pretending to be asleep passes by and he still hasn't nudged me, so I cautiously open my eyes and find green pools of delight staring down at me. I groan, very loudly, as I watch the semblance of a small smile tickle his lips. I flip myself over onto my front and cover my head with a pillow, then hear him laugh as the pillow is whipped from my head and I'm turned over onto my back.
'Good morning.' he chirps, and I screw my face up in disgust at his cheery, break of dawn happiness.
'Please don't make me.' I plead, pulling my most solemn face.
'Up you get.' He grabs my hand with his good one and pulls me into a sitting position. I make a big display of moaning in repulsion at his idea of starting the day, and then nearly start crying when he presents me with my freshly laundered running kit that he, so generously, bought me.
'I want sleepy sex,' I complain. 'Please.'
He hoofs me off the bed and draws my lace knickers down my legs before tapping my ankles to lift. 'It will do you good.' he states firmly.
It's all right for him. He runs stupid distances on a daily basis. I'm more of a quick few miles girl when I feel the need to shift a few pounds. 'Hey! Are you trying to tell me something?' I narrow my eyes on his crouched form before me.
He rolls his eyes and signals for me to lift my foot so he can get me into my Little Miss knickers. 'Shut up, Ava. If anything, you're too slim at the moment.' he scolds me. He's right, I am.
I let him dress me in my shorts, vest top and trainers. 'This is torture.' I grumble.
'Go brush your teeth.' He slaps my bum, and I head off into the bathroom, dragging my feet and rolling my head back to make a point of my disgruntled mood.
I clean my teeth, locate a hair bobble from my bag and make my way down the stairs to find him at the front door waiting for me. 'I'm just a hindrance.' I moan as I scrape my hair into a ponytail. He'll be much quicker without me, and I'll get an extra hour and a half in bed. 'I'll never do the full fourteen.'
He takes my hand and leads me out of the penthouse and into the elevator. 'You'll never be a hindrance to me, I like having you with me.' He punches in his code and we descend to the foyer. I love being with him too, but not at five in the morning and running around London.
'You need to get that code changed.' I remind him.
He looks at me, all bright eyed and bushy tailed. I could slap him for being so wide awake and alert. 'Nag.' he mouths, and it's at that point I elect not to remind him again.
We emerge into the dawn sunlight to birds chirping and the hum of delivery vans - the same sounds I recognise from my previous punishing pre-dawn torture session.
I start to stretch before any instruction from Jesse, and he smiles as he watches me, at the same time carrying out his own muscle sweep. I want to be a grump, but he is just too delicious in his black shorts and tight, white vest, his hair a disheveled mess on his head and his morning stubble at just the right length.
'Ready?' I chirp, as I bounce off toward the pedestrian gates. I punch in the exit code and start jogging towards the Thames. I feel better already.
'Just think,' he muses, as he joins my side and we start running steadily together. 'We can do this together every morning.'
I cough on a sharp inhale of air. Fourteen miles every morning? I don't think so, the mad bastard.
We jog at a steady pace, and I'm reminded of the relaxing advantages of running at this time of day. It really is very peaceful and mind cleansing. I glance up at my beautiful man every now and again in the hope that he is at least displaying some sign of fatigue. Of course, I'm sorely disappointed each time. He's like a machine. I make a mental note to have my iPod ready for the next time he heaves me out of bed at this God forsaken hour.
We hit St James's Park and the early morning runners come into view - all women, who start faffing with their running vests and straightening their backs. Oh yes. How many of them time their runs just right?
Jesse puts his hand up to many of them as they smile brightly and bash their fake lashes at him. I want to throw up, or trip them up. Are the fancy earphones and bum bags with pouches of energy shots loaded into them really necessary?
I feel his eyes on me, and I know he is checking to see how I'm doing. I feel okay, as it happens, but if he increases his pace, then it might be a different story.
We conquer The Green Park and make our way onto Piccadilly, passing the point at which I collapsed the last time. I glance across to the spot where I sat every morning, picking at the grass and soaking up the dew through my trousers. I can see myself there - a pasty, empty waif - a half complete woman.
'Hey.'