Beneath This Man

Yes, I can have a drink on Friday because he'll be there to watch over me. The problem is, I'm not comfortable drinking in front of him. It wouldn't feel right, especially knowing his little issue with control and alcohol.

'Would you get the doormen to spy on me too?' I grumble.

'I don't ask them to spy on you, Ava. I ask them to watch over you.'

'And call you if I don't follow the rules?' I quip, earning myself a little nudge on the hip.

'No, and call me if you are rolling around on the bar floor,' he says dryly, 'with your non-existent dress around your waist.'

I look up at him and find accusing eyes. Okay, yes, I was on the bar floor, but I wasn't rolling, and I wasn't steaming drunk. Not that time, anyway. Kate was and she took me down with her, and as for the dress? Well, that's a trivial issue, and one that's now in a dozen strips after neurotic man here shredded the damn thing. I could go out, have a couple of glasses of wine, wear something acceptable and not roll around on the floor. Then, no red alert would need to be issued by the doorman. Maybe I could stay at Kate's so I'm not rubbing his nose in it. I laugh to myself at my ambitious idea. He will never let me stay at Kate's.

I let him hold me close to his side as we carry on our way to my office. 'You've got to let me go now.' I say as we near. Patrick might be there and I've not mentioned any sort of business lunch with Mr Ward. This is painfully difficult.

'No,' he grumbles.

'What are you going to do for the rest of the day?' This I really want to know. Please let him say that he's got a stack of stuff to occupy himself with so I can get to Matt's and get my stuff without worrying about fobbing him off and lying to him. Withheld information is not the same as lying.

He pouts. 'Think about you.'

That doesn't make me feel any better. 'I'll be back at yours as soon as I finish work.' I say, realising instantly that I've just lied. I use every ounce of energy to stop myself reaching for my hair.

'Ours!' he corrects. 'What time?'

'Six-ish.' Give or take an hour, I add to myself.

'You like that tag on, don't you? Ish...' He narrows his eyes on me, and I feel scrutinised. He can't possibly know my plans. Only Kate knows.

'ish.' I counter, leaning on him for a kiss.

He grabs me and leans me back over his arm in a ridiculous theatrical performance before kissing the life out of me in the middle of Berkeley Square. People sidestep us and tut as they pass, but I couldn't give a toss.

'God, I f*cking love, love, love you.' he says against my lips.

I grin. 'I know you do.'

He pulls me back up to a vertical position and then buries his face in my neck to chew my ear. 'I can't get enough of you. Let me take you home.'

I know he can't, he's pretty open on that fact, and I'm so tempted to jump work and let him. I've not got a massive amount to see to, nothing that can't wait, and I'm loving his mood - demands aside.

My phone starts singing, snapping me from my rebellious brainwave, and I fish around in my bag while letting Jesse stick to my neck. When I lay my hands on it, I hold it above Jesse's head to see who it is. I groan. Of all the times Mikael could call, he calls now?

Jesse must detect my uneasiness because he instantly pulls back and looks at me with an enquiring eye. 'Who is it?'

'Oh, just a client.' I shove my phone in my bag. I'll call him back. 'I'll see you at your place.' I go to walk away, but he grasps my wrist.

'Damn it, Ava. OURS! Who was it?' His sudden change of temper catches me off guard.

'It's Mikael,' I grate. 'Just a client.' I add, to reinforce Mikael's status in my life. This might be one side of Jesse that I cannot cure; his insane jealousy and possessiveness. I yank my wrist free from him and start the short remaining distance to my office, leaving Jesse on the pavement. And he called me the green eyed monster?

My phone starts ringing again, and I retrieve it as I enter the office. 'Mikael,' I greet.

'Ava, I'm calling to confirm our Monday appointment.' His soft voice seeps into my ears. Jesse might see him as a threat, but he's not, although his voice is really quite sexy. 'Would midday suit?' he asks.

I collapse in my chair and swivel to face my desk, horrified to find Jesse stood over me, prowling like a raging beast, his chest heaving. He looks incensed. I scan the office and see Tom and Victoria sat at their desks watching intently, making no attempt to hide their interest. Then I glance over my shoulder to find Patrick in his office, but, thank God, he's oblivious, looking completely wrapped up in something on his computer screen.

'Ava?'

With the impending drama unfolding before my eyes, I forgot that I'm in the middle of a business call. 'Mikael, I'm sorry,' I look up at Jesse questioningly, but he ignores me, continuing with his menacing performance with no regard for our location or spectators. 'Yes, fine.' I try and sound professional and assertive. I fail miserably. I sound edgy and nervous.

'Are you okay?' His question throws me. Clearly I don't sound okay.

'Yes, fine, thank you.'

'Good. So, you broke your own rule?'

My heart skips a few beats. 'Pardon?' I squeeze the word through my sudden nervous breathing.

'Jesse Ward. He's a client, yes?'

I don't know what to say. No, he wasn't a client, not when I was working on Lusso, but I'm not stupid enough to point that out. Mikael knows I'm supposed to be working for Jesse. Supposed to be. I haven't been back to The Manor yet, and Jesse hasn't pushed it. 'Yes.' It's the only word I can think of.

'How long you have been seeing him?'

My blood runs cold as I search my brain for the right thing to say. 'Urhhh, a month-ish.' I stammer down the phone. Why is he asking this?

'Hmmm. That's very interesting.' he replies.

My blood runs even colder. Why would that be very interesting? I'm still staring into the green eyes of the man I would die for, and I've got another man on the end of the phone sounding like he's got something to tell me - something that's going to send me crashing and burning from Central Jesse Cloud Nine, not that I'm on it at this particular point in time.

'Why would it be?' I ask. I sound terribly nervous, which is fine because I am. What does he know?

'We will discuss that when we meet.'

'Okay.' I hang up. That was unbelievably rude, but I don't know what else to do or say. Jesse is crowding my desk, looking like he might rip my head off, but for what? Bloody hell, in the space of five minutes, we've gone from cavorting on the pavement to a Mexican stand-off.

We stare at each other for a while and I flick my gaze over to Tom and Victoria, who seem to have settled in for the show. To be fair, it is pink elephant room territory. He's not to be ignored, and even if their heads were down, I know their full attention would still be on the brooding man looming over my desk, emanating hostility. Their brazenness could be classed as brave.

I settle my eyes back on Jesse, but I'm reluctant to make the first move for fear of it all blowing up and Patrick coming to investigate the commotion. I can't sit here all day looking at him, though. 'I'm at work.' I say quietly and tightly. I've no faith in my feigned stanchness. He looks fit to burst with rage.

'Who was that?' He nods at my phone.

'You already know the answer to that question.' I say, placing my phone on my desk. Was his performance in front of Mikael anything to do with this? Mikael knows something and Jesse knows he does. That much is obvious.

'You won't see him again.' he grinds the words out, clearly and slowly.

Okay, now I'm very worried. 'Why?' I don't bother pointing out that Mikael is a client. He knows that and judging by the look on his face, he doesn't care.

'You just won't. It's not a request, Ava. You won't defy me on this.' He starts chewing that f*cking lip, still brooding, still shaking with anger.

I can't do this here - not in the middle of my office. I also can't withdraw from the Life contract. I'm totally f*cked - completely f*cking screwed. I need a drink, more now than ever. 'I'll see you at Lusso.' I say quietly.

'Yes, you will.' He turns and stalks out.

I flop back in my chair and release a long rush of breath that I hadn't realised I was holding. Life with Jesse is a frigging roller coaster and now he's stropped off, I'm going to be worried about him for the rest of the afternoon. I'm bursting with uncertainties, but I know one thing for certain. I'm not going back to Lusso tonight. I need time, clear thinking space to sort myself out before I'm landed with more shit. He answers a question, then another pops up.

'Gosh, that man can do a sexy brood,' Tom chirps. 'Been back to The Manor lately, darling?' He lowers his glasses, and I know immediately that Victoria isn't as stupid as we all think she is. Victoria starts giggling for the first time in two days.

I want to rant at her and accuse her of prissiness, and then tell Tom to get a personal shopper fast, but that would be childish, and I don't know if I can trust myself to stop there. I feel fit to burst with frustration and stress, so whoever is unlucky enough to tip me over the edge will be copping it in a big way. Luckily for Tom and Victoria, Patrick saves their bacon before I let loose on them.

'Flower,' he says as he perches on the corner of my desk. It creaks its customary protest, I wince my customary wince and Patrick performs his customary ignorance. 'Now, Mikael Van Der Haus has been in touch and insisted on a research trip to Sweden.'

Oh f*ck. I didn't see that coming.

After being awarded the design contract at Lusso, Mikael's partner had insisted on genuine Italian everything, so I was sent to Italy on a research and sourcing trip. Mikael has stressed his desire for sustainable materials on Life, but I didn't anticipate this.

The complexity of this proposal hits me hard in the stomach. The fact that the trip will be in aid of Mikael's project will probably send Jesse to the grave, and if I go by what has just transpired, I will probably be in that grave with him.

'Is it really necessary?' I ask. Please say no, please say no.

'Absolutely, Mikael insisted on it. I'll look at flights.' He creaks his way back up from my desk and takes himself back to his office.

Mikael insisted? I'm in trouble here. There is not a chance in hell that I'll get to Sweden, not with Jesse to stop me, and then where will that leave me? I know where...job-less, that's where. I break out in a sweat.

'Coffee, Ava?' Sally appears from the stationary cupboard, looking as miserable as she did earlier. I need wine desperately.

'No thanks, Sally.' I answer.

I look up and see Tom and Victoria with their heads down. Good. I can spend the rest of the afternoon worrying about my life drama in peace. I suddenly wish I didn't have to pick my stuff up after work. Seeing Matt is the last thing I want to do.

'Here you are, flower. Some flight details. Let me know what suits.' He hands me a print out of scheduled flights and I shove it in my bag. I'll think about that later. He leaves me in peace and I feebly try to carry on with my work.

Six o'clock approaches and I start clearing my desk. Everyone else has left, so it's down to me to do the office checks and lock up. Kate pulls up in Margo Junior and I jump in.

'I can't believe you suggested a girls night out in front of Jesse!' I fire at her immediately as I settle and put my belt on. In my huffy state, I begrudgingly marvel at the comfort of Kate's new van.

'Nice to see you too.' She pulls into the traffic. 'He said you can go, so what's the problem?'

'The problem is, he won't let me drink because he has this unreasonable worry that if he's not there to look out for me, I might end up dead or something.'

She laughs. 'How sweet.'

I scoff . 'No, it's not. It's unreasonable.'

'Pah! He'll never know. Let's be rebels!'

'You've got to be kidding me.' I laugh, although I really feel like being a rebel at the moment. I feel like getting drunk, but that would just be thoughtless. 'He's just thrown a rage over a male client. He actually hijacked my meeting with Mikael Van Der Haus and marked his territory. It was mortifying.' I blurt it out, still racing through reasons for Mikael to find my relationship with Jesse interesting.

'Yikes!'

'On the plus side, though, I do know how old he is now.'

Kate swings her blues to me with a look of excitement. 'Really?'

I nod. 'Really.'

'Come on then. Reveal the mystery of ages.'

'Thirty seven.'

'No!' she says dramatically. 'Really? He doesn't look it. How did you find out?'

'I introduced Jesse to the truth f*ck yesterday morning.' I don't know why I have completely, unashamedly admitted that because I know she'll be pumping me for more information. Do I care?

'You've known a whole day and not told me?'

'Sorry.' I shrug. There's a lot more than his age. A lot more, but I need wine to delve into that shit. I need a night out to off load it all on Kate.

'What's a truth f*ck?' She frowns.

There we are. 'It involves Jesse handcuffed to the bed and me with a vibrator,' I look at her. 'He doesn't like sharing me, even with a machine.' I add dryly. She bursts into laughter and the van swerves. I grab the door. 'Kate!'

'Sorry,' she splutters. 'Oh, I love it!'

I've got so much to push on her, but her own situation is worrying me. 'What's going on with you and Sam?'

She stops laughing immediately. 'Nothing.'

I roll my eyes on a dramatic sigh. 'Nothing. Of course.'

'Hey, what the hell are you wearing to this big bash?' she asks, in an obvious diversion from my enquiries.

I inwardly groan. Am I even going now? 'I don't know, Jesse is supposed to be taking me shopping.'

'Oh? He is, is he?' she muses. 'Make the most of old money bags.'

'I'm not looking forward to it. I've not been there since last Sunday, and that pouty faced tramp will be there.' I grumble. No doubt I'll be receiving another warning. I sit back in my seat and think of all the other things I would prefer to do tomorrow night, and now Jesse is quite clearly raging with me, my enthusiasm has not lifted. It's me who should be raging. He's got some explaining to do in light of Mikael's brainteaser.

We pull up outside my old flat, and I see Matt's white BMW. My heart sinks, but I knew he would have to be here to let me in.

'Do you want me to come in?' Kate asks.

I mull over the question for a few seconds but decide it's probably best if she waits in Margo. Kate is a feisty bugger when she wants to be, and all I have to do is get in, be polite and get out. I shall be quick about it as well.

'No, I'll bring it out to you.' I open the van door and get out. I'm feeling sicker by the minute. Jesse's already crazy mad over a stupid telephone call. I would call him unreasonable if it hadn't been for Mikael's line of conversation, but Jesse doesn't know what was said, although his reaction speaks volumes.

I make my way up the steps and press the buzzer for our apartment, looking up at my building and feeling unexpectedly sad that I don't live here anymore.

'Hi.' Matt's happy voice comes over the intercom.

'Hi.' I say as informally as I can. I don't want to get into friendly conversation with him. I'm still pissed he had the nerve to call my parents.

'I'll buzz you in.'

I hear the door mechanism release and I look back at Kate, giving a little wave to indicate I'm going in. She puts her thumb up and flashes her mobile at me. I nod my understanding and step into the corridor of the downstairs entrance hall.

Making my way up the stairs, I take calming breaths while giving myself a mental pep talk. I must not mention the call to my parents and I must not get involved in too much conversation.

When I reach the top, I see the front door open slightly. Shaking myself up, I walk straight in. I don't shut the door; I don't plan on being here long. I look in the kitchen and lounge for Matt, but he is nowhere to be seen, so I head for the bedroom and find my stuff piled in bags and boxes. With Matt nowhere to be found, I start collecting a few bags up in my hands, but when I turn to leave the room, I find Matt stood in the doorway with a glass of red wine in his hand. He's wearing his beige suit. I've always hated that suit, not that I've told him. His dark hair is in its usual side parting and combed neatly.

'Hi.' he says on an over-the-top smile.

'Hey, I looked for you.' I explain as I lift the bags. 'Kate's waiting in her van. I'll take these down to her.' There's no hiding the hostility that develops at the mention of Kate's name, but I ignore it and walk with purpose to the door, stopping when he makes no attempt to get out of my way.

'Excuse me.' My politeness is killing me.

He smiles at me, then takes a cocky swig of his wine before standing back a fraction, giving me just enough room to slip past and make my way down to Kate. When she sees me emerging from the building, she jumps out of her van and runs around to open the back doors.

'That was quick.' she says, taking the bags from me.

'He's packed for me.' I nod at the bags and raise a brow.

She smirks. 'That's very civilised of him.'

I return to the apartment and grab a few more. It would be quicker if Kate came and got a few, but the pick-up has been quite straight forward and pain free up till now. Introducing Kate into the equation is a sure fire way to send the situation into anarchy, so I traipse back and forth, shifting my worldly possessions alone. I notice Matt doesn't offer to help.

I hand my ninth and tenth bag to Kate. 'How many more?' She thrusts them in the van.

'Just one box.' I say on an about turn. He better have packed everything because I don't want to come back.

I make my way back up and grab the final box, turning to make my hasty exit, but I find Matt blocking my escape again.

'Ava, can we talk?' he asks hopefully.

I cringe. 'Talk about what?' I know damn well what this is about. I need to get out of here. I can't rehash this shit again. The last time I rejected his proposal to give it another shot, he turned nasty.

'Us,' He waves his hand between us.

'Matt, I'm not going to change my mind.' I say as surely as I can, but before I know what has happened, he's on me trying to shove his tongue down my throat. I drop the box and use all the strength I possess to push him away from me. 'What the hell are you doing?' I screech incredulously.

He pants a bit and then scowls at me. 'Reminding you of why we're good together.' he spits.

I actually laugh. It's a proper belly laugh. He's reminding me? Of what? How much of a twat he is? Please! A Jesse style reminder it is not.

'Are you still seeing someone?' he asks.

'That's none of your business.'

'No, but your parents were very interested.' he snipes.

I take a long, steady breath to prevent my hand flying out and cracking him one. I'm not even going to justify his actions with a response. After the day I've had, this is the last thing I need. 'Get out of my way, Matt.' I'm immensely proud of myself for keeping my voice even.

'You stupid cow.' he sneers.

My eyes widen. I'm stunned. I knew he had a nasty streak, but is this really necessary? I see red. 'Yes, I am seeing someone and do you know what, Matt?' I don't wait for him to ask. 'He's the best I've had.' I say, stupidly or not.

He laughs a sly, slap worthy laugh. 'He's a raving alcoholic, Ava. Did you know that? He's probably drunk out of his skull every time he f*cks you.'

I falter and Matt's cocky grin widens. How the hell does he know who I'm seeing? He thinks I'm shocked because he has just dropped the alcohol bombshell on me. No, I'm shocked because he must know who I'm seeing. How?

Oh God, I want to wipe his smug grin off his face with one swift slap. 'Well, even pissed he's a better f*ck than you ever were.' I toss at him and watch as his smug face turns to confusion.

The bastard thought he had one over on me. Those words have achieved far more than a slap ever would. I'm delighted with myself for being so quick off the mark. He always liked to think he was handy in the bedroom. He wasn't.

I can see him struggling, clearly wondering how he should deal with me. I stand my ground, but I'm still curious how the hell he knows about Jesse.

'You're pathetic.' he snarls.

'No Matt. I'm making up for four years of shit sex with you.'

His face drops a little. He doesn't know what to say. I lean down to get the box from the floor and whip my head up when I hear the thunder of heavy footsteps charging up the stairs.

Oh f*ck!

'Ava!' he roars.

Any hope I had of leaving Matt and his bewildered expression kind of commotion free has been well and truly trampled. How does he know I'm here? I'll kill Kate if she's tattled on me.

He comes bulldozing through the door and any notion I had that I've seen him in all of his challenging ways has just been thoroughly obliterated. He's rampant, and I'm actually afraid. Not for myself, for Matt, and I hate him. Jesse looks capable of murder.

He doesn't pay any attention to Matt. He looks straight at me and I wilt under his intense, furious stare. 'What the F*ck are you doing here?' he shouts.

I physically tremble in my heels. I've really waved a red rag under his irate nose this time. He's not supposed to know I'm here. How the hell does he know I'm here? Has he got a tracker on me? I elect not to ask, though. Instead, I stand with my mouth firmly shut.

'Answer me!' he roars.

I flinch. It's pretty obvious what I'm doing here, he doesn't need my confirmation, and he must have seen the bags in the back of Kate's van.

Matt wisely stands back and keeps his cocky mouth shut. His eyes are flicking from me to Jesse, and I know he's thinking that this is not the behaviour of a man just f*cking a woman.

Hey, meet my God!

'I f*cking told you! Don't ring him, don't come here. I said John would do it!' He waves his arms around like a deranged screwball. 'Go and get in the f*cking car.'

I hear a snigger escape Matt's lips, and I whip my eyes around to him. He looks at me and I see a glint of sick satisfaction in his eyes. It tips me over the edge. I'm not standing here being screamed at, especially in front of my twat of an ex-boyfriend. I grab my box and steam out of my apartment, thanking all things holy that Jesse didn't walk in a few seconds earlier.

'We kissed.' I hear Matt's smug voice and then Jesse's unmistakable fist in his face.

I could cry. Does Matt not know when to shut the f*ck up? I hear Jesse's thumping footsteps behind me as I walk out onto the street and see Kate and Sam - oh, and John too.

John's leaning up against his Range Rover - wraparound sunglasses in place - looking as menacing as ever, but his face is completely impassive, while Kate is pacing besides her van with Sam standing to the side looking a bit concerned. Is it really necessary for everyone to be here? I give her a don't stare as I approach her.

She takes the box from me. 'Holy f*cking shit, Ava.' she whispers, throwing it in the back of her van.

'Did you tell Sam I was here?' I ask shortly.

'No!' she screeches. I believe her. She wouldn't do that to me.

'John!' Jesse yells as he emerges from my building. 'Put her stuff in the Rover.' He shakes his recovering hand and a flash of concern twangs inside me. The bloody idiot. Couldn't he have used his left hand? And then his referral to me registers.

Her?

'Leave it John!' I shout, halting John in his tracks. 'I'm not going with him. Kate, come on.' I start towards the passenger side of Kate's van and when I get to the door, I look up and see Sam with his hand on Kate's arm. She looks at Sam and he shakes his head faintly, then she looks back to me. I can see she is torn.

'Get the bags, John!' Jesse thunders down the steps.

'Leave them!' I shout.

I see John blow out an exasperated breath of air and look at Jesse for guidance, but he must decide that my wrath is the lesser of two evils because he starts transferring my things into the Range Rover. He can take my things. It doesn't mean I'm going. I get in Kate's van and throw myself back in the seat in total aggravation.

Within two seconds, the door is flung open. 'Out!' His voice is shaking with anger. I couldn't give a toss.

I grab the handle to yank it shut, but he moves his body to block me. 'Jesse. Just f*ck off!'

'Mouth!'