Thomas smiled as I returned to my seat. The air conditioner kicked on, and I pulled my blazer tighter around me.
“Would you like my jacket?” Thomas said, offering his blazer. It perfectly matched the walls. He also wore jeans and laced brown leather Timberland boots.
I shook my head. “I’m not that cold.”
“You just don’t want to be wearing my jacket when Sawyer comes out of the restroom. But he won’t notice because he’ll be chatting it up with Tessa.”
“What Sawyer thinks or feels doesn’t concern me.”
“Then, why are you here with him?” His tone wasn’t accusatory. In fact, it was so unlike his usual demanding loud voice that his words nearly blended into the hum of the AC.
“I’m not sitting across from him. At the moment, I’m here with you.”
The corners of his mouth turned up. He seemed to like that, and I inwardly cursed myself for the way that made me feel.
“I like this place,” I said, glancing around. “It sort of reminds me of you.”
“I used to love this place,” Thomas said.
“But not anymore. Because of her?”
“My last memory of this place is also my last memory of her. I don’t count the airport.”
“So, she left you.”
“Yes. I thought we were going to talk about your ex, not mine.”
“Did she leave you for your brother?” I asked, ignoring him.
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, and he glanced toward the restrooms, looking for Sawyer. As predicted, Sawyer was standing at the end of the counter near the drink station, making Tessa giggle.
“Yeah,” Thomas said. He puffed, like something had knocked the breath out of him. “But she wasn’t mine to begin with. Camille has always belonged to Trent.”
I shook my head and furrowed my brow. “Why do that to yourself?”
“It’s hard to explain. Trent has loved her since we were kids. I knew it.”
His confession surprised me. From what I knew of his childhood and his feelings toward his brothers, it was hard to imagine Thomas pulling something so heartless.
“But you pursued her anyway. I just don’t understand why.”
His shoulders moved up just a tiny bit. “I love her, too.”
Present tense. A tinge of jealousy twinged in my chest.
“I didn’t mean to,” Thomas said. “I used to go home quite a bit, mostly to see her. She works at the local bar. One night, I went straight to The Red and sat down in front of her station, and then it just hit me. She wasn’t a little girl in pigtails anymore. She was all grown-up and smiling at me.
“Trent talked about Camille all the time, but in a way—to me, at least—I never thought he’d go for it. For the longest time, I thought he’d never settle down. Then, he started seeing this other girl…Mackenzie. That’s when I decided he was past his crush on Camille. But pretty quickly after that, there was an accident, and Mackenzie died.”
I sucked in a tiny sharp breath.
Thomas acknowledged my shock with a nod and continued, “Trent wasn’t the same after that. He drank a lot, slept with whomever, and left school. One weekend, I came home to check on him and Dad, and then I went to the bar. She was there.” He winced. “I tried not to.”
“But you did.”
“I reasoned that he didn’t deserve her. It’s the second most selfish thing I’ve ever done, and both of them were to my brothers.”
“But Trent and Camille ended up together?”
“I work a lot. She’s there. He’s there. It was bound to happen once Trent decided to chase her. I couldn’t really protest. He loved her first.”
The sad look in his eyes made my chest ache. “Does she know what you do?”
“Yes.”
I arched an eyebrow. “You told her who you work for but not your family?”
Thomas thought about my words and shifted in his seat. “She won’t tell them. She promised she wouldn’t.”
“So, she’s lying to all of them?”
“She’s omitting.”
“To Trent as well?”
“He knows we were seeing each other. He thinks we were keeping it a secret from him because of the way he felt about Camille. He still doesn’t know about the Bureau.”
“Do you trust her not to tell him?”
“Yes,” he said without hesitation. “I asked her to keep quiet about the fact that we were dating. For months, no one knew but her roommate and a few of her coworkers.”
“It’s true, isn’t it? You didn’t want your brother to know you had stolen her,” I said, smug.
His face twisted, disgusted at my lack of finesse. “In part. I also didn’t want Dad poking her for information. She would have had to lie. It would have just made things more difficult than they already were.”
“She had to lie anyway.”
“I know. It was stupid. I acted on a temporary feeling, and it turned into something more. I put everyone in a bad position. I was a selfish dick. But I did…I do…love her. Trust me, I’m getting payback.”
“She’s going to be at the wedding, isn’t she?”
“Yeah,” he said, twisting his napkin.
“With Trent.”
“They’re still together. They live together.”
“Oh,” I said, surprised. “And that has nothing to do with why you want me to go?”
“Polanski wants you to go.”
“You don’t?”
“Not because I’m trying to make Camille jealous, if that’s what you’re getting at. They love each other. She’s in my past.”
“Is she?” I asked before I could stop myself. I braced for his reply.
He looked at me for a long time. “Why?”
I swallowed. That is the real question, isn’t it? Why do I want to know? I cleared my throat, chuckling nervously. “I don’t know why. I just want to know.”
He breathed a laugh and looked down. “You can love someone without wanting to be with them. Just like you can want to be with someone before you love them.”
He looked up at me, a spark in his eye.