“Wow,” I said, taking in a deep breath. I sat on the stool next to him. “That’s a big deal.”
“What if she says no?” he said. There was a worry in his voice that I’d never heard before.
“Then you’ll figure it out.”
“What if she says no and then dumps me?”
I nodded slowly. “That would be bad.”
He hopped off the bar. “I need a drink.”
“Me, too.”
Hank poured whiskey into two glasses, and then slid one closer to me. I took a drink and frowned. “Whoa. What is this?”
“Magic,” he said, taking a drink, too. “I love her, Cami. I don’t know what I’d do if she said no.”
“She loves you, too,” I said. “Focus on that.”
Hank’s eyebrows pulled in. “Why are you drinking?”
“I cheated on T.J.”
“When?”
“Half an hour ago.”
Hank’s eyes widened for just a moment. “With who?”
I paused, hesitant to say it aloud. “Trent.”
His eyes got wide again, and he mumbled something in Italian.
“Yeah, what you said.” I took another drink, finishing off the glass. My cell phone rang, and I turned it over. It was Trenton.
“Hello?”
“Hazel said you’re not coming in. You okay?”
“Uh . . .”
“Are you sick?”
“No.”
“Then why aren’t you coming to work?”
“I have a bad case of awkward as fuck.”
“Because I kissed you?” he asked, incensed. I could hear Hazel in the background.
“You kissed her?” Hazel squealed. “You bad ass motherfu—”
“You made it complicated! You can’t complain now!” I said.
“What the fuck does it matter if I kissed you?”
“Because! I have! A boyfriend!” I yelled into the phone.
“Will he even notice? You haven’t spoken to him in a week!”
“That’s none of your business!”
“Yes, it is! You’re my business!”
“Fuck off!”
“You fuck off!” he yelled back. We were both quiet for a while, and then Trenton finally spoke. “I’m coming over after I get off work.”
“No,” I said, rubbing my temple. “You messed everything up, Trent. It’s . . . it’s too weird, now.”
“That’s stupid. Everything is the same,” he said. “The only difference is that now you know I’m a damn good kisser.”
I couldn’t help but smile.
“I won’t surprise attack your face. I just want to see you,” he said.
The truth was, I had gotten used to him being around, but if we kept spending so much time together, I needed to end things with T.J. . . . but I wasn’t sure I wanted to do that.
“No,” I said, and disconnected the call.
My phone rang again.
“Hello?”
“Did you just hang up on me?” Trenton asked, annoyed.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I was finished talking.”
“You can’t say good-bye?”
“Good-bye . . .”
“Wait!”
“That’s why I hung up. I knew you wouldn’t let me say good-bye.”
“You’re really going to cut me out of your life because of one fucking kiss?”
“Was that all it was?” I asked.
Trenton fell quiet.
“That’s what I thought.” I hit End again.
He didn’t call back.
Hank stood across from me, and we both drank our troubles away. We finished one bottle, and he opened another. We were giggling and being stupid by the time Jorie walked in the door. Hank tried to pretend he was sober but failed miserably.
“Hello, my love,” he said.
“Hi,” Jorie said, smiling. She hugged him, and he wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her long, pearly waves against her back. She studied both of us, but it didn’t take her long to come to a conclusion. “You guys have been here a while. Got into the stash, huh?”
Hank grinned as he weaved back and forth. “Baby, I wanted to—”
“Hank,” I said, shaking my head quickly before Jorie could see me. Jorie turned, and I smiled at her.
“What are you two up to?” she asked.
“A bottle and a half,” Hank said, chuckling at his own joke.
Jorie took the rest of the bottle away from us and placed it back in the lower cabinet, locking it and putting the key in her pocket. She was wearing black shorts that looked like mini tuxedo pants, and a pretty champagne-colored, see-through blouse that revealed her black lacy bra. Her black heels were sky-high, but she still wasn’t as tall as Hank.
“I’m going to put a pot of coffee on. We don’t want the employees thinking it’s a good idea to come to the Sunday employee meeting hammered.”
Hank kissed her cheek. “Always thinking. What would I do without you?”
“Drink the rest of the bottle,” she teased. She picked up the empty pot and filled it with water. “Oh, damn. I forgot we’re out of filters.”
“No, they came in this morning,” Hank said, slurring. “They’re still in the back room.”
“I’ll go grab them,” she said.
“I’ll go with you,” Hank said, cupping her backside as they walked together.
I swiped the screen on my phone, contemplating the phone call I was about to make. Before I punched in the numbers, I opened my message screen instead. It was such a cowardly thing to do, but I did it, anyway.
You got a minute?
Can’t talk long. Miss you like crazy. What’s up?
We need to talk.
I was afraid you’d say that.
Call me as soon as you can.
I’d planned on it.
He was always so sweet. Was I really going to break things off with him because he’d been busy? He had warned me about this, and I agreed to try. I promised it wouldn’t be an issue. Then again, we’d barely spoken, with no hopes of the situation improving. And then there was the little matter of Trenton. It didn’t really matter if I broke things off with T.J. Going from T.J. to Trenton would still feel wrong, even if I waited six months. Even if I waited six years. I had been running around with Trenton behind T.J.’s back. Anything that came out of that was tainted.
Kody wasn’t within miles of being right about me. I wasn’t doing the same thing as Raegan. It was much worse. At least she had the decency to break up with Kody before she started seeing Brazil again. She didn’t string along two men at the same time. She was honest with both of them, and I had tried to lecture her.
I covered my eyes with my hand, so ashamed that I couldn’t even face an empty room. Even if spending time with Trenton was fun or comforting in the moment, I knew what it meant to Trenton, and how I would feel if T.J. were doing the same thing. Seeing them both—whether it involved sex or not—was dishonest. T.J. and Trenton both deserved better than that.
I kissed him.
I hit Send, and instantly my hands began to shake. Several minutes went by before T.J. sent a reply.
Who?
Trenton.
You kissed him, or he kissed you?
Does it matter?
Yes.
He kissed me.
Figures.
Now what?
You tell me.
I’ve been spending a lot of time with him.
What does that mean?
Idk. It is what it is.
Do you still want to be with me?
The question is, do you still want to be with me?
Again, I had to wait several minutes for him to respond. When my cell phone pinged, I had to force myself to look at the words on the screen. Even if I deserved it, I didn’t want him to throw me away like the trash that I was.
I’m booking you a flight to California.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
MY FLIGHT WAS AT SEVEN THIRTY. I LEFT THE EMPLOYEE meeting early to pack, and then tried not to let thoughts of Trenton sneak into my mind as I drove the Smurf to the airport. I glanced down at my left hand, which sat atop the steering wheel. Together, my fingers read DOLL. T.J. was not going to approve, and I hoped to God he didn’t ask why I’d chosen those words.