Beat of the Heart

He was engaged.

And although I couldn’t see her, I just knew the brunette had to be Kylie. Her hair color and her height were exactly the same.

I whirled around to go and ran right into Dee. His gaze wasn’t on me, but instead, he was staring dumbfounded at AJ. “Oh motherfucking shit,” he muttered.

“Let’s go!” I cried.

When he remained rooted to the floor, I pounded his chest with one of my fists. “Move,” I ordered.

“Don’t you want to—”

“No, no, no! I just want to get the fuck out of here.” My voice choked out with the sobs that were racking my chest. Once I got out in the hallway, I collapsed back against a wall and then the hysterics overtake me.

Dee pulled me into his strong embrace. “Mimi, you can still go talk to him.”

“And ruin his life?” I hiccupped.

“It might not be true. I mean, I haven’t heard anything in the news about him being serious about a girl.”

I shook my head. “Their PR people kill any stories like that so they can appear more desirable to their female fans.” Pulling away, I wiped the tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand. “Jesus, Dee, he had an arm around a girl sporting a fat-ass diamond. I think there is no other truth, but that he’s engaged.” Stormy emotions of anger, bitterness and regret raged through me. “God, I was so stupid to think he wouldn’t move on. Or more importantly go back to his old girlfriend.”

Dee cupped my cheek. “I’m so fucking sorry, Mimi.”

“It’s for the best really. He deserves to be happy.”

“You could have made him happy,” Dee argued.

“Not really. Not with all my baggage and shit. In the end, it would’ve been too much for him.”

“So you’re never going to tell him about the baby?”

Part of me wanted to conceal it from AJ forever. That way I wouldn’t have to ever see or hear from him ever again. But deep down, I knew that could never happen. He was a famous musician who would always be thrust in my face. At the same time, I knew I couldn’t deny my child its father.

I drew in a ragged breath. “I’ll let the dust clear on his engagement, and then I’ll call him.” Dee gave me a skeptical look. “I won’t be selfish and deny him the chance to be a father. I promise.”

“Okay then.” Dee glanced around. “Are you ready to get the hell out of here?”

“Yes. Please.”

As we started down the hallway, Frank stepped in front of us. A smile stretched across his face. “Boy, I bet AJ was sure surprised to see you, huh?”

I exchanged a look with Dee. How was I supposed to play this one? “Um, he looked kinda busy, so we’ll catch him after the show.”

Frank’s salt and pepper brows furrowed. “Oh okay.”

Wagging a finger, I said, “Don’t say anything. Surprise, remember?”

“Sure, sure. My lips are sealed.”

“Thanks, Frank. Take care.” I gave him a quick hug before grabbing Dee by the sleeve and hauling ass down the hallway before I ran into anyone else.

“You think Frank’s not going to ask AJ about seeing you?”

“I’m hoping he’ll forget...or that AJ just won’t give a shit about me with his happily-ever-after.”

“We’ll see,” he replied before we hustled outside of the arena and started going against the stream of fans rushing inside.



Two nights later, I was back home and at work. There hadn’t been any calls from AJ, so I assumed he either didn’t know I had shown up or he didn’t care. I secretly hoped for the second because it made it easier to turn off the feelings I had for him. Pregnancy hormones didn’t make matters easier either. I cried way more than I wanted to admit.

It was a relatively slow and quiet afternoon as Dee and I sat working on charts at the nurse’s station.

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