Bad Monkeys

The first sign we were getting close was a shimmer of color on the horizon. I thought it was a heat mirage, but within another mile the shimmer had resolved itself into a green circle with a white building at its center.

A big cargo helicopter came screaming overhead as we passed through the gardens of Ozymandias to the visitor parking lot. The helicopter touched down just east of the building, and a team of guys in moon suits came running to unload a silver body bag and hustle it inside.

“OK, so what’s our cover?”

“We’re married,” said Wise. He handed me a ring. “Mr. and Mrs. Doe.”

“Jane Doe? Yeah, that’s not suspicious.”

“Don’t worry about it. When we get inside, I’ll be doing the talking. You just nod your head and keep your eyes peeled for Carlton.” He opened the glove compartment and brought out my NC gun. “One more thing, we’d like to get him alive if we can.”

“No problem.” I set the gun’s dial to NS, narcoleptic seizure.

Coming in the building we got hit with a blast of arctic air, like the company wanted to let us know right away it could deliver. We went to the reception desk, where a woman in four layers of wool printed us badges and told us a Dr. Ogilvy would be right with us.

Ogilvy reminded me of Ganesh. There wasn’t much of a physical resemblance—except that he was small, and looked like he’d be easy to beat up—but he had a nervousness about him, and also a sadness, like this wasn’t the career he’d planned on having. Once he’d introduced himself and got his game face on, though, he was pretty peppy. “Well, Mr. and Mrs. Doe, thank you so much for coming out here today! Let’s go back to my office and talk about what Ozymandias can do for you!”

Ogilvy’s office had a big bay window that looked out on an acre of fruit trees and flower bushes. The greenbelt was shot through with rainbows from an automated sprinkler system, and if I’d had a tab of acid I could have stared at it all day. But Ogilvy didn’t offer us any drugs, just comfy chairs and tea. Then he got down to business: “I understand you’re interested in purchasing one of our life-extension plans.”

I must have looked like I was going to make a crack, because Wise laid a hand on my arm before answering, “Yes.”

“And will this be for both of you, or…?”

“Neither,” Wise said.

“Neither.” Ogilvy’s eyebrows went up and down a few times. “Is it a gift, then? We do have gift packages, it’s actually fairly common, or well, not common, but…For the friend who has everything, or a valued employee about to retire…”

“It’s for our son.”

“Oh! Oh, I see. Your son…?”

“Philip.”

“I see. And how old is Philip?”

“He’s ten.”

“And is he…ill?”

“He was in an accident. He was playing outside, and his sister was supposed to be watching him, but…Well, you know how kids are. She got distracted.”

“Oh, how terrible.”

“It’s not her fault, really. She should never have been given that responsibility. If anyone’s to blame, it’s my wife and I.”

“Oh no,” said Dr. Ogilvy. “No, don’t think that way! These things, you know, they just happen sometimes.”

“Anyway, Phil’s in the hospital now, in intensive care, and we’re praying that he’ll pull through, but if he doesn’t…We want to be ready.”

“Of course. Of course.”

“So what we’d like,” Wise concluded, “is to have a look around your facility, here, and maybe meet some of your people…”

“Of course! I’d be happy to give you a tour right now! Let’s—” The phone rang, and Dr. Ogilvy started. “Oh dear! I’m sorry…” Peering closer at the blinking light that accompanied the ringing: “Hmm, line three, I’m sorry, you know I really should take this…Would you mind if—”

“It’s fine,” I said, getting up. “We’ll wait for you outside.”

I practically dragged Wise from the room. As soon as we were out the door, I lit into him: “What the hell was that about?”

“What was what about?”

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