Kenton
I look down into her big, blue eyes and groan. Fuck me. She is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever looked at. She’s perfect, and I don’t just mean on the outside; I mean on the inside too. She’s sweet in a way that is hard to believe, especially coming from her lifestyle.
I tried to keep my distance after I picked her up at the airport and got reminded of what she did for a living, but when she was around, I couldn’t help but want to soak up a little bit of her time. She’s not what I expected. She’s not what I wanted, but fuck me if she’s not what I need.
From the moment I saw her, I wanted her. I walked into the airport knowing that she wasn’t expecting me. I’d messaged Link earlier in the day telling him to let her know I wouldn’t be picking her up. I’d had a lead on a case and thought I wouldn’t make it in time, and I didn’t want her waiting for me.
When I spotted her long, red hair in the crowd, I watched her run for one of her bags. I couldn’t help but laugh when she fell forward and landed on the belt before being dragged with it. She didn’t give up though. She pulled it off the conveyor belt over her head, falling backwards with the weight of it. She was cute.
When we got into the car and I sat down next to her, the doors closed and her smell suffocated me. Her long-ass legs in her shorts made it hard to concentrate on the road, and then I asked her about how she knew Link. I may get around, but I didn’t like the idea of her being with someone who was a friend for some reason, and then she reminded me that she worked at a strip club, throwing all ideas of getting to know her out the window.
I look over her face again and shake my head. I have fucked up with her in ways that even thinking about them makes me sick. I don’t have an issue with strippers in general, but I know what happens at strip clubs. I do understand that not all women are the same and there are dancers who work in clubs to make money and nothing more, but I also know that there are some who go home with men at the end of the night or are willing to go a little further in order to make a little extra cash.
“Step back,” she says, and I shake my head, pressing deeper into her.
She smells like flowers or something sweet. I have wanted to be this close to her for a long time. Now that I’ve got her where I want her, I’m not backing off.
“Why are you doing this?” she asks softly, squeezing her eyes closed.
“I want you. I want to get to know you.”
“No,” she breathes, shaking her head.
“Yes.” I press her harder into the wall.
“The things I know about you, I don’t like.”
I know she’s just being honest, but it doesn’t mean that it makes my chest ache any less. I don’t know her well, but the parts of her she has let me see have been sweet, feisty, and so fucking cute that I have had to stop myself from kissing her when she laughs or does something that makes me smile.
The look in her eyes when she walked into my office when I was talking to Nico on the phone still haunts me. I know that my cousin was trying to make me see that I was interested in her, but I didn’t need his help with that. I knew I wanted her; I just didn’t know how I could deal with my jealousy. The thought of men looking at her or touching her makes me feel homicidal.
When she spoke, her words tore me open. I knew that, regardless of my own fears, I needed to find a way to deal with it or I’d lose her before I ever even got to have her. Then I went to Nico’s house and saw him with Sophie and how close they had gotten. The way she looked at him like he had the power to turn on the sun had me feeling jealous. I wanted that for myself.
Nico was right in telling me to get my head out of my ass. He told me that if I wanted something, I had to take it; I couldn’t ever let anyone or anything hold me back. I want Autumn more than I’ve wanted anything before. I wanted her even before I knew she was a nurse. I would be proud to take her home to meet my family. My parents and sister would love her.
“Give me a chance.”
“I can’t. You’ve already said so many cruel things to me. I can’t willingly open myself up for more of that from you.”
“You know the night I made you dinner, when you told me it was the first time you had been happy in a long time? You weren’t the only one who felt that,” I gently confess to her.
“I was drunk. Isn’t everyone happy when they’re drunk?”
I laugh and her eyes meet mine. “Don’t lie to yourself.”
“I’m not. You’re lying to yourself. I’m a stripper, remember? I may not be one now, but I was. I can’t change that.” She shakes her head, causing her hair to slide against my skin.
How many nights have I lay in bed thinking about her hair spread out around her while she sleeps or hanging over me as she rides me to completion?
“I shouldn’t have said what I said. I should’ve been man enough to admit what I was feeling for you. I said some fucked-up shit in order to cover up how I really felt.”
“I don’t know,” she says, confusion lacing her voice.
“We’ll take it slow. I just need you to stop avoiding me. I need to be able to talk to you, to see your face,” I practically beg, pushing her hair out of her face.
“Friends?” she suggests with a tilt of her head.
“More than friends, baby, but we can start out as friends.” I lift her chin to look into her eyes.
*
Autumn
Our eyes meet and I shake my head. Friends? Can I be friends with him? Probably…and it would probably be the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.
His hand runs along the underside of my jaw, his thumb touching my bottom lip.
“I don’t know,” I repeat, closing my eyes. “Why?” I don’t know if I’m asking him or myself, but I just don’t know why I feel this pull towards him.
“What’s the worst that could happen?” he asks, leaning into me.
Heartbreak is the first thing that comes to mind.