Victoria sipped at her coffee and stared out the break room window at the gray skies. The remains of number three were firmly named in her brain as Lucia. Even if the DNA test came back as not a match, she’d still think of the woman as Lucia.
It was easier sometimes when the bones were nameless and she was still searching for their identity. There was something about knowing the identity of this woman and the knowledge that she’d sat abandoned for decades in a box that was deeply depressing. Would they ever learn why the women had died? Callahan had told her that the decades-old investigation had never found a solid suspect. The only links between the identified women had been their transient status. He’d suspected the remaining three were also a long way from home. He’d discovered that Ted Bundy had been asked about the circle of women. Bundy’s admitted murders had started six years after the circle was found, and he’d claimed to know nothing about the Oregon murders. Callahan said the previous investigators hadn’t completely ruled out Bundy; he was a known liar, but the circle didn’t fit his MO.
She felt Seth step in the room before she heard him clear his throat. As if she was attuned to an invisible frequency he emanated. She turned from the window and held her cheap paper cup of coffee in front of her chest with both hands. A shield.
“Hello, Tori.” His voice was hoarse.
Had he known she was in the break room? She studied him from head to toe. For the last few days, she’d avoided looking directly at him, afraid to acknowledge the man he’d become. Did she fear an attraction to him? Did it really matter? The attraction was there; she couldn’t deny it. Her heart sped up when she heard his voice. Was that what made her eyes go “puppy-dog,” like Lacey mentioned? A dilating of the pupils, perhaps?
“Seth.”
Victoria liked what she saw. When it came to Seth, she’d always liked his looks. At that conference, he’d caught her eye from fifty feet away before she’d mentally registered his identity.
A small chip fell off from the wall around her heart. “How’s your day so far? Anything fascinating?” she asked.
A startled look entered his eyes.
“What?” Victoria asked.
“You used to always ask me that. Phrased exactly that way.”
He was right.
It was an endearment she’d picked up from her parents. One she’d carried on when she dated Seth. And it was one she hadn’t used in a long time. She couldn’t recall if she’d used it with Rory. She’d developed a habit of not asking about his day because he would roll off a litany of complaints about lazy students and annoying staff. After a long day at the examiner’s office, she couldn’t bear to hear his bitterness.
But with Seth, it’d suddenly rolled off her tongue. She’d truly wanted to know what he’d done that day.
“I guess I’m a creature of habit,” she answered. “Or else nervous.”
“Do I make you nervous?” His dark blue eyes held hers.
Lacey was right. He did have a look of Pierce Brosnan about him. He had a leanness to his face sculpted by maturity. She could see the strong bones beneath his cheeks and forehead, and her mind automatically sketched the lines of his skull. It wasn’t a morbid thought; it was intimate. She considered it a gift to have the ability to look beyond a person’s skin and muscle to their foundation and see its beauty.
“You broke my heart,” she said quietly.
There. She’d said it.
Her pain flowed out of her chest, leaving a lingering sense of dizziness. She’d hoarded the pain for too many years. It’d been a crutch. She’d pull out her misery and lean on it to build up her icy walls. Walls to keep everyone at a distance. Now that she’d exposed the old hurt to its source, she was oddly empty. She was exposed, raw. And human.
He’d hurt her, and she’d bled deeply. For a very long time.
He broke their eye contact and inhaled, staring out at the glum rain as she had moments before. “I know.” He turned back to her, his eyes darker than a moment ago. “I’m sorry.” He started to say more, but abruptly stopped.
She didn’t want him to say more; she knew what he’d say.
Eden.
It’d taken some time, but she’d lost the initial anger that a baby had come between them. In fact, she’d been sad that Eden’s mother had kept Eden away from Seth at first. He’d missed her birth and the precious first few months of her life. He’d been the first person wronged in their relationship.
Seth had honor. She’d been attracted to that part of his character. Once he started pursuing her in college, he didn’t stop. Once he’d made up his mind about his area of study, he’d thrown 100 percent of himself into achieving it. When Victoria found out he had a daughter, she knew she’d lose him. She couldn’t stay angry at a man who’d done the right thing. He’d taken responsibility for his daughter and stood beside the mother.
Some men would choose to write a check and see their kid on the weekends. Not Seth. He had to be part of his daughter’s life. His father had abandoned him; he couldn’t do the same to his daughter. And Jennifer was happy to welcome him back. Who wouldn’t want to marry a medical student with a strong sense of commitment?
“Where are you at now?” she asked.
Seth knew exactly what she meant. “I’ve been living in an apartment for six months. I filed for divorce quite a while ago. It should be nearly done. Emotionally, I’ve been distant for years. We’re working through the actual physical distance.”
“How’s she handling it?” Victoria’s heart started to ice up again. She had to know where Seth and Jennifer stood. Were they really finished?
“Good in some ways. Rotten in others. She’d known it was coming for a long time. That didn’t mean she had to like it.”
“What are your plans?” She felt like a reporter asking questions.
“Live in Portland. Start life over.” His gaze held hers. There was no begging in his look. It was simply a man who’d made up his mind. If he said he was starting over, that was his goal and he’d achieve it.
Victoria’s mouth went dry. “You say that like you have the new job.”
“If I don’t get the position, there’s room here for another deputy examiner. Either way, I’m here to stay.”
The air left the small break room. She drew shallow breaths. “You left once,” she whispered, her fingers tightening on her coffee cup.
“It won’t happen again.”
Why didn’t his words reassure her?
“I don’t know what to think,” she blurted. “What are you saying?”
His gaze softened. “I’m saying let’s get to know each other again. We’ve got all the time in the world. Are you seeing someone? What happened with Rory?”
Victoria’s mind sped into overdrive, spinning out of control while her body froze in position. Seth wanted to start over. She’d known it the minute she’d seen him in the rain that night.
He wants me back.
I can’t do it. Or can I?
“It wasn’t right. We realized we made a mistake. It’s been finished for two years.” She wanted to scream that she wasn’t seeing anyone, that Rory was only a passing thought, and that she’d gladly take Seth back in a heartbeat.
The logical part of her mind overruled. Seth had to lay a lot of groundwork before she’d risk her heart again.
He nodded. “I understand mistakes.”
“I need to get back to work,” she said and pushed by him out of the stifling room. She brushed his upper arm as she scooted around him through the doorway and felt his heat penetrate through her lab coat. She strode blindly down the hallway in the general direction of her lab, her brain spinning in confusion.
Seth wanted her back.
Could she do it? Was her heart worth it?
As she rounded the last corner before her lab, the fire alarm sounded. The siren screamed and she stuck her fingers in her ears. Looking down the hall, she saw the pant leg and shoe of a man as he vanished out the emergency exit at the end of the building.
Did he trip the alarm by going out the door? Or was he getting out because of the alarm?
She sniffed the air. No smoke.
Ears ringing, she did a quick peek in the three rooms in her hall, finding nothing to set off the alarm. She jogged back to the main hall, meeting up with a half-dozen employees, questioning and shouting over the din.
The alarm abruptly shut off.
The group exhaled.
“Everyone okay?” she asked.
A chorus of yeses and head nodding answered her.
“Who set off the alarm?” asked Seth from directly behind her.
Victoria glanced over her shoulder, comforted by his tall presence. He nodded at her but kept his attention on the small group. They looked at each other, shaking their heads.
“Everyone here?” Seth asked.
“Yes, this is everyone who’s in the building at the moment,” Anita answered, stepping through the door from her office. “Both Dr. Campbells left for lunch. I shut down the alarm.”
Trust Anita to have her finger on the pulse of the office. Victoria wondered if Dr. Campbell knew how rare a gem ran his office.
“No smoke anywhere?” Seth asked. “Have all the labs been checked? All the suites? Storage?”
Everyone exchanged looks again.
“I checked all the rooms at my end,” Victoria spoke.
“Same with the suites,” added Jerry, Dr. Campbell’s assistant. “I looked in each one when the alarm started. I’ll go do a quick run through the labs.”
Seth nodded at him and the large man vanished.
“Anyone know what tripped the alarm?”
Everyone shook their heads.
“Wait a minute.” Victoria turned to Anita. “Someone went out the emergency door down the hall from my lab. I saw the door as it was closing. You sure everyone’s here?”
Anita scanned the surrounding faces. “Yes.” Nods from the group agreed.
Victoria looked at Seth, tension twisting in her stomach. “Go out the front of the building and around to the east side and see if you spot anyone. I’ll go back down the hall.”
Seth was already headed toward the front lobby. “Take someone with you,” he shouted over his shoulder.
Victoria glanced to Anita, who nodded, and both women jogged back toward the lab.
“Who do you think you saw?” Anita was out of breath by the tenth step.
“Don’t know. I think it was a man. Looked like a male shoe and jeans. I didn’t see higher than a knee.”
They came up to the door with the ALARM WILL SOUND WHEN OPENED sticker above the broad silver bar handle.
“Will the alarm go off again if I open it?” she asked Anita.
She shook her head. “I deactivated the whole system.”
“Fire trucks aren’t going to show up, are they?”
“Shit! I need to go call them. They’ve probably called to confirm the alarm by now. Damn it!” The older woman hustled back down the hall.
Victoria pushed open the heavy door and stepped into the drizzle of the day. Portland was in one of those months where it seemed the sky would never be blue again. Record amounts of rain fell in the past ten days and the F-word was on every weather forecaster’s lips: flooding.
She looked right and left, but saw nothing but wet grass, concrete, and employee vehicles. Seth appeared on her right as he rounded the corner of the building from the front.
“See anyone?”
She shook her head.
“Me neither.” He stopped beside her, stepping under the small overhang to avoid the majority of the drops. It didn’t help; the wind guided the falling water onto them. He blew out a breath, scanning the lot, and Victoria watched his breath steam in the air. The sudden quiet and stillness of the outdoors made the alarm incident seem distant.
“What exactly did you see?” he asked.
She repeated her story.
“So someone was in the building. Do you think they triggered the alarm by going through the door?”
“It’s a good possibility. We should see if Jerry found anything in the labs.”
Seth nodded, beads of moisture sticking in his hair. He ran a hand over the dark dampness, making it spike up a bit, and he suddenly looked ten years younger.
Victoria’s lungs tightened at the sight. He looks like when we first met.