CHAPTER 29
It felt like only yesterday that Lizzy had last sat across from Linda Gates and tried to explain how she was feeling. How many different ways could she describe the empty, dank void inside her?
“I got an emotion for you. I was angry yesterday,” Lizzy said, filling the silence. “In fact, I can’t remember the last time I felt so livid.”
“That’s a good sign.”
“I should have known you would be happy to hear that I was fuming mad.”
Talk about lack of emotion. Lizzy might as well be talking to a fucking wall.
“What were you angry about?” Linda asked.
“Shelby Geitner.”
“Is that the girl you told me about on the phone the other day? The girl who’s missing?”
Lizzy nodded.
“From what you’ve told me over the past month, you have quite a few cases you’re working on, lots of things to be angry about. So why this particular missing person case?”
“It’s not my case—it’s being investigated by authorities—but Shelby has been coming to my defense class for at least five years now. It’s hard for me to believe that someone would have been able to hide in her car without her noticing.”
“And that makes you angry.”
“Of course it does. I taught her well. What is this world coming to when you can’t even be aware of the dangers around you and stay safe? Boyfriends and family members are turning on the people closest to them. It’s sickening.”
“Lizzy, most people don’t live in constant fear, waiting for someone to attack them.”
“Well, anyone associated with me or standing anywhere near me . . . anyone who knows me, for that matter, probably needs to be aware that they could be attacked at any moment for doing absolutely nothing. It’s a fucking zoo out there.”
“So you think whoever took Shelby was someone she knew?”
Lizzy thought about it. “Yes. I do.”
“It’s good to hear a little passion come back into your voice.”
“I don’t know what you’re hearing in my tone, but whatever it is, it’s got nothing to do with passion. I’m angry, though.”
“So you’ve said.”
“So I’ve said,” Lizzy repeated, wondering why Linda seemed to be purposely prodding her. “I’m angry enough to start taking matters into my own hands.” Lizzy came to her feet and began to pace the room. “I’m starting to think Hayley’s had the right idea all along.”
“How so?”
“She knows the difference between right and wrong. When it comes to solving a case or proving someone’s guilt, she’ll do whatever it takes. If that means breaking and entering, or using physical force, she’ll do it without thinking twice.”
“If I remember correctly, the tactics you’ve used to solve cases in the past haven’t always been between the lines of the law.”
“True, but I always thought long and hard about each and every step I took. There were many times I could have broken into a home in search of evidence I needed to close a case, but I didn’t.”
“And now you would?”
“In a heartbeat.”
“Why?”
“Because time isn’t on my side.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I’ve got every lunatic in Sacramento, maybe the entire country, on my tail, watching my every move. Now I even have one calling me up to tell me we’re all on the same side. I think that’s reason enough.”
“If you decide to ignore the law, what do you think Jared would say to that?”
“Are you serious?”
Linda nodded.
Lizzy stabbed the back of the couch with a finger. “I come here for one fucking hour every week and you always want to bring the conversation back to Jared. I’m the one you need to worry about, not Jared. I’m the one who’s paying your ridiculously high hourly rates and I don’t even know why. What good are you doing me, Linda, tell me that?”
“That’s a good question, one that would be worth your taking some time to think about. If you come to the conclusion that I’m not helping you, then—”
“Then what? I should just stop coming? After all these years, you would just tell me we’re finished—just toss it off, like some kind of afterthought?”
“I’m not telling you to stop coming, Lizzy. I’m just reminding you that we all have choices. The same thing goes for using physical force and deciding right from wrong. Every day we’re inundated with choices—you, me, Hayley. It’s the same for all of us.”
“Well, thank you for that little sermon, Dr. Gates. I’ll go home and think about everything you’ve said today.” Lizzy put her hands out, palms flat up, and pretended to weigh her options. “I’ll even ask Jared what he has to say before I make any important decisions.”
“Lizzy, why don’t you have a seat?”
Lizzy grabbed her jacket and went to the door, her other hand gripping the knob. She took a breath and looked over her shoulder at Linda. “I’ll see you next week, OK?”
Linda nodded. “I’ll be here.”