She stood on a smaller side stage with the pole at her back as she bent down at the waist and then flipped her hair back, giving Jared a close and personal view of her tits.
She then rose, put one hand behind her neck and the other behind her back and tugged smoothly at the strings of her top, letting it fall away from her body to expose her tanned and perfect breasts to him.
I looked down, grinding my teeth.
No.
My face ached as tears sprang to my eyes, and I looked away, so Fallon and Juliet wouldn’t see.
Fuck him.
By the way he was watching her—making no move to ignore her—and by the way she singled him out, they could have each other.
I dragged in a deep breath and cleared my throat.
Digging in my clutch purse, I pulled out a bill just as the server brought us our drinks.
I tipped my chin up, blinking away the tears in my eyes. “I want to buy a lap dance,” I told her, holding out the money. “Not for me, though.”
She tucked the tray under her arm and took the money. “Sure. What do you need?”
I leaned on the table, noticing that Jared had finally looked away, before I started speaking to the server again. “Do you see that guy with the brown hair over there dressed all in black? He’s lifting a glass to his lips right now.” I pointed in his direction, and the server turned to see who I was referring to.
She nodded.
“Can you send him that dancer that’s onstage in front of his table when she’s done?” I asked and felt Juliet stiffen next to me.
The server smiled. “Of course.”
She left, and I closed up my purse, setting it on my seat next to my lap as I ignored Fallon and Juliet, who I knew were staring at me.
“Tate, what are you doing?” Juliet’s concerned voice was void of her usual pep.
“Tate, stop her,” Fallon urged, referring to the server. “Don’t do this. You’re setting him up.”
I didn’t know if Madoc had told Fallon anything about the episode with Piper in high school, but regardless, she knew buying Jared a lap dance was a bad move.
Kind of evil, actually.
I stared ahead, fisting the cold brown bottle in front of me.
I didn’t know why I did it. It felt like those times when you want to ask questions or feel you should, but in the end, you don’t really want the answers.
I didn’t want Jared with other women. I loved him.
But I wanted a reason not to. I wanted one thing to push me off the fence. One thing that would make me never trust him again.
“You want him to fail you.” Fallon’s quiet voice was raspy, and I looked up to see her eyes pooling behind her glasses.
Then I glanced at Juliet looking at me like she didn’t even know me.
“No,” I whispered more to myself, shame warming my face. “I want it to hurt.”
I knew I always forgot the pain he caused too easily. Not anymore.
Juliet narrowed her confused eyes on me, not understanding. Not understanding that the pain made me stronger. That anger felt good, and if Jared hurt me, then I could feed off it to feel superior.
I could win and not be the one left crying or waiting or trying to live and put up a front when the hole he left wouldn’t fill.
“Son of a bitch.”
I heard Fallon’s curse and looked up, evening out my expression.
Piper had strolled out of the back area behind the stage and was walking through the tables, catching the glances of interested men as she passed by.
She was still beautiful. Complete with the perfect posture of confidence that hadn’t dulled, even though her reputation had been ruined after the video.
Her deep brown hair, longer than I remembered, spilled in waves to the middle of her back, and her body shone like the sun on water.
She wore a white jeweled bikini top with a thong, but she did have a gold fishnet wrap around her ass, tied at her hips. However, her behind was almost completely visible through the array of squares in the netting, which made the wrap for show only.
Her eyes were on Jared as she sauntered over, a coy look on her face. For all she knew, he was still angry about the video, but that didn’t seem to dull her confidence.
Standing over him, she slowly leaned down, placing her hands on his armrests, and I saw him look up at her and grow still.
She was talking to him, and he was letting her.
My mouth went dry.
Her back arched as she spoke, her leg bent up, and I could tell she was doing her best to get him to notice her breasts as she inched closer to his face.
I couldn’t see Madoc or Jax. I couldn’t see Fallon or Juliet anymore.
I could only see him drop his eyes, looking like he was struggling with what to do.
Maybe he really wanted it.
They were together once, after all. He’d enjoyed sex with her enough to go back for more. Four years had passed, he had returned to Shelburne Falls, and I still hadn’t given him my heart. Maybe he was considering it.
I would never find out, right?
Do it.
The back of my eyes burned, and my heart raced, and I wanted him to touch her. Piper would be an unforgiveable betrayal after what she’d done to me, and the pain would be extreme. My heart would get hard, just like after he’d left, and I’d be steel again.
But his angry jaw flexed like he was pissed or something, and for a moment I thought he wouldn’t, but . . .
“Oh, my God.” Fallon looked away.
Juliet looked down.
And I breathed like the room was running out of oxygen.
We all watched as he stood up and she took his hand, leading him through a back doorway to the private VIP rooms.
I slowly shook my head, watching him disappear with her. He could get a lap dance out here. Why was she taking him somewhere private?
Taking a slow sip of my beer, I straightened my back, refusing to let them see how I felt like someone had torn out my heart and stuck a knife in it.
I wanted to go home.
I wanted to go to bed and get up and read in the morning and get ready for my race and walk away from him as if he’d never mattered.
But instead I crumbled.
I gasped, dropping my head and shaking as I started crying. The tears spilled down, and I couldn’t breathe.