“Whoa!” Pasha shouted as we raced, and I shot down into fourth as I slammed my foot down on the gas and sped ahead, now in front of everyone.
I’d love to say it was merely skill, but the car was a huge part, as well. The size and maneuverability were strong factors.
I shot up into fifth and down into sixth, hearing Pasha’s excited breaths next to me. “I thought hanging out in the racing world, you’d be used to this,” I challenged, seeing her holding the handle above the door as I tried to keep my mind off Jared, who was no doubt watching my every move out here.
Pasha breathed hard. “I drive for fun, and I watch races, but I’m hardly ever the passenger.” She shook her head, smiling. “It’s different.”
I almost smiled back. Yeah, she was right. Riding with Jared had been a huge rush. No control—you just rode and put your life in someone else’s hands.
It was an entirely different experience but still as exciting.
I rounded the next turn and the next, slowly starting to relax.
I finally turned down the music. “You don’t know me, okay?” I told her, setting the record straight. “Whatever Jared told you . . .”
I felt her eyes on me, and even though I wanted to know what she knew, I wasn’t opening this up for discussion.
No one—especially people I didn’t know—made me feel bad about myself. And her look at me earlier had made me shrink.
“The guy you’re dating?” she started softly. “Ben? He’s a lifeline to you. Something to hold on to so you don’t sink, right?”
I peered over at her, confused and shocked at the same time. Lifeline?
“You know how I know?” she asked. “Because you’re a strong woman, and he’s too weak for you. You can’t possibly respect him.”
“That’s ridiculous,” I snapped. “You don’t know us. You just met us. He’s a good guy, and I like him a lot.”
“I’m sure you do,” she shot back, sounding amused. “As a friend.”
I squeezed the wheel, racing past the finish line and continuing for the first turn again.
“He does what you tell him to do,” she went on. “He doesn’t argue, and he doesn’t run away. He’s easy to handle, right?”
When I said nothing, she continued, “Jared kept trying to get under your skin earlier, and Ben should’ve reacted,” she mused. “As the guy you’re dating, he should’ve taken offense—at least a little bit—but he was too much of a coward.”
I chewed the inside of my lip, fire burning down my leg as I floored the gas.
“You’re strong,” Pasha gauged. “Someone who likes to be in control. But wouldn’t it be exhausting—not to mention boring—always being the one in the lead? Never being challenged?”
I turned up the music again and shook my head.
Ben wasn’t boring.
He might not get me hot, but he also wasn’t rude, aggressive, and complicated. And I didn’t need to explain myself to— “Jared, though?” she chirped over the music, cutting off my train of thought. “I can imagine that relationship threw you on the ground and fucked the daylights out of you, huh?”
I turned my wide eyes on her, barely noticing Jaeger’s car zooming past me.
“Metaphorically speaking, of course,” she added.
I breathed out a nervous laugh, stunned into silence. I had to hand it to her. She was bold.
I charged ahead, powering around the turn and missing Jaeger’s car by a hair. I sped on, taking the lead again as I tightened every muscle in my body and raced hard, jerking the wheel wildly and making her laugh as I skidded around the corners.
Flying across the finish line two more times, I barely bothered to downshift as I turned, feeling the weight of the car pulling and our bodies trying to go with it.
She started laughing, nervously glancing behind her.
“Go, go, go!” she shouted, smiling from ear to ear.
“You’re very weird, you know that?” I commented.
“I consider that a compliment.” She beamed.
Jaeger’s orange Camaro pulled up on my side, and I swerved into his lane to cut him off, knowing that we’d bump on the next turn if he was too close. Backing off, he pulled behind me, honking his horn furiously.
I raced ahead, feeling the energy down to my bones the way I always did here.
But it was more than that, too. It didn’t feel like it was going to be over when the race ended as it usually did.
Tearing across the finish line, I let out a happy laugh, pounding my steering wheel with the adrenaline built up inside of me.
“Woo-hoo!” Pasha screamed, rolling down the window and howling.
I sucked in air, breathing hard as I spoke to her. “So was that boring?”
She acted like it was no big deal. “It didn’t suck.”
The crowd descended, pounding the roof, and I moved to get out of the car so I could smack one of them, because who the hell thought it was okay to pound on my car?
But Pasha grabbed my arm, and I stopped to look back at her.
“You should ask Jared about the one time I almost saw him cry,” she said, her happy face turning serious. “I’m sure you’d find it very interesting.”
Chapter 6
Jared
Jax stood up in the announcer’s stand, peering down at me with a grin on his face that said I was way out of my depth. Yeah, I was kind of getting that.
Tate was different.
I shook my head and turned my gaze back to the track, seeing her hop out of her car and talk with the other drivers. So confident. So strong.
But the way I wanted her was still the same.
Jax was right. I could go around about it for days or weeks or another two years, but I’d still come to the same conclusion as he did this afternoon. I loved Tate, and I would always love her.
I’d never planned on letting her go. Not really. Seeing her with someone else a year and a half ago threw me for a loop, and I thought that maybe I still wasn’t good enough, maybe I couldn’t live up to him, maybe she was finally happy after all the pain I caused, and maybe, just once, I could think of her happiness and leave her the fuck alone for once in my life. Maybe, just maybe, we weren’t meant to be together.
But there were no maybes now. I wanted her back.