Blackwood crouched, spinning his stave. My attack slowed and the ice liquefied back into water. He’d taken control of my weapon. Panicked, I tried to regain the element.
Blackwood leaped into the air and swirled the water into a six-foot-tall spout. I screamed as the funnel bowled me over. For a moment, I struggled beneath it. I felt like I was drowning. Blackwood released the spell, and I lay on the paving stones, soaked to the skin and coughing. He offered a hand to help me up. I almost bit him.
“Excellent, Lord Blackwood. That was…original stavework, Miss Howel,” Palehook said. He turned to Agrippa. “You’ve such unorthodox ways of training.”
“I’m not certain I agree,” Agrippa said. I could hear his embarrassment.
If Death had come for me at that moment, I’d have hugged him in relief.
While Wolff and Lambe fought the next duel, I pulled Blackwood to the edge of the lawn and hissed, “What was that?”
“I won the duel.”
“You made me look foolish in front of the Masters.” I wrung out my sleeves as best I could.
“You accomplished that on your own,” he snapped. He applauded as Wolff struck the winning blow and said, “The Masters have a right to see your inconsistencies. You go from transforming water to ice in midair, one of the most difficult spells, to not knowing how to shield yourself from the simplest attack.” He scratched his chin. “It’s so strange.”
“So I’m not allowed a mistake?” I shifted nervously. Did he suspect the reason for my uneven performance?
“I’d allow a thousand if you improved, but if anything you’ve gotten worse.”
“Perhaps if you helped instead of flinging insults, we’d find a way to prepare me in time to be commended,” I whispered. Blackwood crossed his arms and regarded me with a look of smug satisfaction. “Have I said something amusing?”
“All you care about is securing your own position,” he said. “The responsibility means nothing to you.”
How could I argue? What he said was painfully true. Though that didn’t keep me from stepping behind a rosebush and cursing his name.
As Palehook was leaving, he bid me to speak with him. “Your performance is original,” he said, unsmiling.
“We’re working to steady my powers. I think we’re making great progress,” I said, a lie.
“Indeed. Master Agrippa continues to have hopes for your improvement.” He nodded. “I must admit, my confidence begins to wane.”
When he had gone, I went alone into the obsidian room and summoned my flames. I stared at my burning reflection in all eight walls. The fire whispered over my skin, its touch comforting as I stretched out my arms and tilted back my head. This was all that my power was good for.
Sometimes I wished that I could actually burn.
—
THE NEXT DAY, I WAS HEADED down the stairs toward the library when I heard them talking. The voices echoed out of the dining room, and I would have moved on had I not heard Agrippa say, “She might not be the prophecy.”
It’s a miracle I didn’t tumble down the last few steps. I went to the door, open just a sliver, and listened to Agrippa rage at an unseen person.
“He didn’t come out and say it, but it was implied. I don’t know what Palehook means to accomplish.” There was the sound of a fist striking a table.
“Perhaps he’s simply stating his mind?” That was Fenswick’s voice. I peered inside. The hobgoblin stood on the table, four arms crossed over his chest. “Perhaps it’s true. How bad is she?” He twitched his left ear.
I wanted to run away. Agrippa shook his head as he stepped into view. “She’s trying. God help her, I’ve never seen anyone try harder.”
“That’s all well and good, but trying’s not the same as succeeding.”
“If she isn’t training, she reads in the library. Last week I found her slumped in a chair, asleep with a book in her lap. She’s a wonderful student.” Agrippa paced back and forth, in and out of my line of sight.
“I’m sure she can outread the best of us, but that’s not the point. She’s not good.” Trust Fenswick to be blunt.
“No,” Agrippa whispered. My corset pinched me. I couldn’t breathe. He sat down at the table. “I don’t know why this is happening. After Korozoth, I was so certain.”
“Were you overhasty?” Fenswick sounded gentle. “Perhaps she’s not the one you need after all.”
I didn’t wait to hear the reply. In my hurry to get away, I stumbled against the door, pushing it open. Agrippa caught my eye and called my name as I fled.
Porridge in hand, I threw open the training room doors and faced my reflection in the black glass walls. I would perform the maneuver for fire right now, and perfectly. Lighting my hand, I swirled the flame into the air, where it formed a floating orb. Good. Now to transform it into a vortex.
I swung and spun myself around the room, getting every movement and gesture exact. But I couldn’t make the fire transform, even a little. I hacked away at the air until my arms tired and I broke into a sweat, cursing under my breath. I caught sight of myself in the glass. I didn’t look like a sorcerer. With my hair coming undone, I looked like a madwoman.
Cursing, I threw Porridge into the air and the fire exploded. Embers and ashes rained to the floor.
There was a knock. Agrippa entered, a sad expression on his face. I couldn’t bear the sight of it.
“I’m sorry I’ve disgraced you,” I whispered. “I didn’t mean to fail in front of Master Palehook.”
“You have nothing to apologize for.” His voice was warm with anger, but not at me. “Palehook should never have said such things.”
“He wants the prophecy to be realized. He must believe we’ve made a mistake.” And we have made a mistake, I thought. Haven’t we?
“Augustus doesn’t like to share power. This is my fault.”
“Yours?”
“Palehook applied to the Order immediately after we came to town. He wanted to train you himself.”
“What?” I was nearly sick at the idea. Living with that man? “They’d have had to drag me into his house.”
Agrippa smiled. “He may have seven daughters, but I don’t think Augustus is an ideal teacher for a young woman, which you most certainly are. Are you all right?” He sounded alarmed. I’d begun shivering hard enough to make my teeth chatter.
“Perhaps it’s a chill.”
“Nonsense, you’re terrified.” He took my hand.
Here he was comforting me, and all I did was lie.
“I’m not what you need.” My voice sounded so small. I was on the verge of admission, pushing to speak the words…but the cowardice in me was too strong.
“Of course you are. We knew this training would have its own challenges,” Agrippa said, voice soft. “We will unlock a key to steadier powers—I promise.”
I looked into his eyes. “Do you believe Miss Agrippa was the one prophesied?”
“What?” Agrippa released me.
“I know she would have been a sorcerer if not for the fever. It would make so much more sense, her being chosen.” I discreetly grabbed my handkerchief and wiped at my eyes.
“I was proud of Gwendolyn. Words fail to express how proud. But she wasn’t the prophesied one,” Agrippa said firmly.
“But she was your daughter. You of all people should be the first to condemn me as a fake.”
Perhaps I wanted him to.
“Gwendolyn possessed strength and grace, but she left us before her commendation,” Agrippa said. “I refuse to accept that our one hope was carried off before she’d done anything at all. Frankly, if I reject my own daughter’s candidacy, I would appreciate it if Master Palehook would fall in line.” Annoyance crept into his voice. “I admit, it’s unheard of for a girl with no sorcerer family to display your talents, but in my opinion that only makes your candidacy stronger. It’s a miracle.”
A miracle. Or magicianship.
My time was running out. I knew it. Hargrove had told me to come back when I accepted that I couldn’t perform sorcerer spells. When I began to make Master Agrippa nervous.
But I couldn’t give up. Not completely. Not yet.