Chapter 32: Rose
I stared at the young man across the table in the dimly lit room. Although he only gave me half answers to every other question I asked, I felt privileged that he was opening up to me in this way.
On several occasions, I wondered why he was revealing all of this to me. What I had done to deserve his trust. His openness. I realized what an ordeal it must have been to recount all of this to me.
The one question that had been burning in my mind ever since I’d laid eyes on the black and white photos of the lovers was now on the tip of my tongue.
“And you and Annora… how did it get this way? Why does she—”
He held up a hand, and walked slowly to the other side of the room where he stopped, staring out of the window at the snow-covered mountain peaks. He stood still for several minutes and I began to believe that he wasn’t going to answer my question. But eventually he cleared his throat and said, “She’s sick, Rose.”
I remained silent, holding my breath for him to continue.
“I suppose,” he said slowly, his back still facing me, “I should have seen where she was heading earlier. I was just too blind.”
I stood up and walked over to the window next to him.
“What happens every night when she’s here?”
“We fight,” he muttered.
“Why?”
“It’s…” He paused and bit his lip, as if weighing up his words before he let them roll off his tongue. “It’s how she feels alive.”
I stared at him disbelievingly. “What?”
He clenched his jaw. It pained me to see how uncomfortable my questions were making him. “It’s her way of clinging to the past. To what we used to have.”
“What do you mean?”
“She lost her ability to love me the moment she gave herself over to the witches. It’s one of the things she sacrificed.”
My mind was beginning to reel. I leaned against the wall to steady myself.
“Fighting me… it’s the closest she can feel to loving me.”
He left me by the window and walked back over to the other side of the room.
“Caleb,” I said softly, looking after him. “I think she does still feel for you. I saw her bawling her eyes out.”
He shook his head. “She can feel pain, yes. But not love. I learnt that long ago.”
Leaning against the wall, I sank to the ground and pulled my knees against my chest.
I didn’t know what to say to him. But finally now, it was clear why he put up with her day in and day out.
Caleb feels responsible for what she’s become.
Had he not turned her, none of this would have happened.
He thinks he caused her ruin.
“It’s late,” he said, finally breaking the silence. “I suggest you leave.”