Chapter 43: Gregor
The moment I was taken from my daughter’s chambers and brought back to The Cells, I knew that I was in trouble. An odd mixture of determination to not disappoint Vivienne and pure terror began battling for the right to rule my will.
I shivered just thinking about what I had gone through in between the time when I had left The Oasis and finally returned to The Shade. If there ever was any doubt in my mind that we vampires were creatures of the dark, it was totally eradicated when I was forced to come face to face with what a dark creature I had allowed myself to become. Darkness took hold of both Borys and me in such a way I had never thought possible. It took full control.
Perhaps this is what happened to Derek before he decided to escape to his slumber. It’s the reason he was so powerful. Darkness gripped him and made him the heartless leader that saved The Shade.
Clarity had come over me the moment I had looked upon my beautiful Vivienne’s blue-violet eyes. Her unconditional love for me as her father awakened what little shred of humanity I still had left in me. I realized that the only reason I was thinking beyond the darkness’ control was because Vivienne somehow illuminated something deep within me. One small spark was all it took to light up pitch black darkness.
However, my match was quickly running out of its flame. I knew that I was about to lose myself again. I would once again forget the love I felt for my children—especially Derek.
Alone in my cell, moonlight streaming from the small, barred window, I felt like a million voices were ringing in my ear all at the same time. I knew the kind of power I was up against. I knew the hold it had over me. I knew that this was a battle I couldn’t win, but couldn’t afford to lose either.
For the first time in the past five hundred years, I realized how I, as a creature of the dark, craved so much for light. I was desperate to keep the spark inside me burning.
Traitor, a voice whispered—coming from within me rather than from my surroundings. I shuddered. I tried to fight it. I tried to summon all the will power I had within me to keep myself in control. I couldn’t do it.
My body was no longer my own, my thoughts conflicted and out of control. Claws came out of my hand, and with my forefinger, I began scratching a message on my arm. My own claw cut through my skin and it cut deep. I bit my lip against the pain as I saw the message take form.
You chose the wrong side.
Chills ran down my spine as it dawned on me exactly what it meant. At that moment, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that there was absolutely no way I could make it through the night, and yet I felt in me an unnerving calm. I was able to hold Vivienne in my arms again. I was able to see her beautiful eyes and her calming smile.
I had all the consolation I needed knowing that should I die that night, in the final moments of my life, I had chosen light.