Chapter 7: Ingrid
No matter how much I tried, I simply could not rid my mind of the way Aiden looked at me after our last conversation…like I was the most despicable thing he’d ever laid eyes on…as if I were some sort of monster.
He’s right. That’s exactly what I am now. A monster. The thought gave no consolation, even though I had once fooled myself into believing that I’d already reconciled myself with that truth.
I hated myself for losing Aiden. He was a man with so much love and affection to give. Certainly no other man had been able to penetrate through the walls of my heart the way he had done, yet despite all the love he had showered upon me, I was still an empty shell, haunted by my past, a past I would kill to forever keep hidden.
He has no idea how much of a monster I really am.
After Aiden left me in my cell, the solitude began to drive me mad. Even before becoming a vampire, I hated being alone and the fact that I was made aware that the love of my life would never look at me the same way he used to look at Camilla was driving me insane.
I stretched myself out on the small cot I was provided with—one that felt coarse and rough against my skin, after having been accustomed to the Egyptian linens at The Oasis—and screamed at the top of my lungs.
A gruff, middle-aged guard immediately showed up on the other side of the steel bars lined with UV lighting.
“Shut up!” he bellowed at me.
I gave him my sweetest smile before purring, “Make me.”
“What do you want, bloodsucker?”
“Tell your boss that I want someone to talk to.”
“Why on earth would I do that?” He grimaced. “All I have to do is pull one trigger and you’re dead. In my opinion—one that is shared by many here—we should just kill you and that other blonde vampire.”
I sat up on the cot and began stretching my arms in the air. “I’m wondering the same thing, but right now, I’m also wondering if you’ll ever allow me to take a shower. It’s been days. I stink.”
He wrinkled his nose as he looked at me with disgust. “We received no orders regarding that, so you’ll just have to bear with the living conditions you’re dealt with. It’s better than being a corpse.”
“I want someone to talk to and I want a shower. If you don’t get me that, trust me when I say there are many ways I can think of to drive you insane, you’re going to wish you never became a hunter.”
At this, the guard scoffed. “What could you possibly do to…”
“I think you have orders to keep me alive and unharmed… Otherwise, I’d be as you say…a corpse.” I stood up and walked toward the UV-lined steel bars. I grinned when at that moment, I could swear that I heard Aiden’s voice talking to someone as he passed the nearby corridor. I gripped one of the bars and genuinely screamed my lungs out because of the excruciating pain I felt in my palms.
The guard’s eyes widened in shock. “You’re crazy!”
Within minutes, I could hear footsteps running toward us. I was relieved to find Aiden show up beside the guard. “What is going on?” he demanded.
The guard looked nervously at his boss. “She just…she gripped the bars…”
I knew I looked crazy as I stared with stark amusement at my burnt palms. I knew that unless they gave me human blood, it would take hours before my skin was healed.
“Are you trying to kill yourself, Ingrid?” Aiden glared at me.
I wanted to smile at him, but I found myself strangely hurt that he called me Ingrid and not Camilla. You’ve lost him, Ingrid. Accept it. “I’m bored, Aiden…and I’m wasting away. I want a good long bath and I want someone to talk to.”
“You’re a prisoner here, Ingrid. Not a guest.”
My response to him was simple. I gripped the bars again.
Aiden watched—his face expressionless—as I once again screamed in agony. Eventually, he took a step forward, his jaw twitching as he said, “Damn it, Camilla! Stop!”
I let go of the bars. Camilla. Despite the pain, I found a reason to smile. I haven’t totally lost him after all.
“Boss, she’s insane. She’s just gonna keep torturing herself,” the guard said. “Perhaps we should just end her pain and kill her.”
Aiden shook his head, and confirmed my suspicions that he could never really let go of Camilla when he said, “No. Give her what she’s asking for.”
As I watched him walk away, I hated to admit it to myself, but I could never really let go of him either. I will always love him. Even though I knew that I could try to turn the emotion off at any time, I realized that I really didn’t want to.