A Necessary Sin: The Sin Trilogy: Book I

He’s wrong. I share no similarities with him. He’s the spawn of a monster. “Perhaps. I suppose only time will tell.”


Dinner is served and I’m hardly able to eat a bite. My stomach is in knots. I order dessert but not because I’m craving chocolate raspberry cheesecake. It’s a ploy to procrastinate.

A strange feeling has settled in my stomach. I’ve had weeks to think about this night, yet I’m not nearly as prepared as I thought. “Want a bite?”

“Aye.” He leans forward and takes the bite I’m offering. “Mmm … delicious but not the sweetness I’m in the mood for.”

He’s eager so I need to be as well. “Are you ready?”

“Very much so. You?”

I nod because I’m afraid I won’t be convincing. “I need to visit the ladies’ room.”

“Sure.”

He stands as I leave the table. I scurry in the direction of the restrooms. They’re located next to the entrance and I seriously consider bolting out the front door. There would be no shame in forgetting the whole thing and going home. Except I can’t. I want to push forward.

I sprint into the ladies’ room and go inside a stall to experience the panic attack I feel approaching. It’s the same as always. I’m short of breath. My heart is racing. My chest hurts. I’d believe I was dying if I didn’t understand what was happening.

I work to slow my breathing. “You’re fine, Bleu.”

A hot flash begins and I use my hands to frantically fan myself. “Calm down. Breathe.”

It lasts several minutes before subsiding. I’m lucky this time. My attacks are often debilitating, lasting at least twenty minutes.

When it’s over, I leave the stall and dab my neck with cool, wet cloths. I feel like my old self so I reapply lipstick and return to Sin. “I’m ready if you are.”



* * *



I’ve previously familiarized myself with Sin’s residence, as well as my escape plan should things go awry. Instead of using the drive to get my bearings, I spend the time psyching myself up.

I realize I’m repetitively popping my knuckles when Sin places his hand on top of mine. “Relax.”

I’m afraid he’ll see the fear behind my eyes or hear it in my voice, so I smile but say nothing.

Sterling pulls through the gated entrance and parks the car in front of a series of weathered stone buildings. Each structure is three levels high. The windows are gorgeous, surrounded by ornate designs, but I can’t appreciate their beauty. I’m too nervous.

“That’ll be all for now, Sterling.”

We enter and Sin barely shuts the door before pulling me into his arms. He’s silent as he searches my face.

“What are you looking at?”

He pushes my hair over my shoulder. “I do believe you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

More romance. That’s unexpected. “You say pretty things like this to all the girls?”

“Never. Just like I’ve never brought a woman to my house, yet here you are, waiting for me to make love to you in my bed—two more things I’ve never done.”

I’ve procrastinated long enough. It’s show time.

I glide my finger down his tie. “Take me to your bed. We’ve waited long enough.”

He clasps my hand in his and kisses my knuckles before leading me through his flat. “You’ll get the full tour tomorrow.”

Oh. That means I’m staying the night. I sort of expected to be taken back to my flat when this was over, maybe even hoped. “I didn’t bring an overnight bag.”

“Don’t need one for what we’re doing.”

He takes me into his bedroom. No matter how many times I enter one of Edinburgh’s beautiful, old buildings, I’m always surprised by its modern décor.

His room is masculine with hard lines. There’s nothing soft or romantic about it. Not that I’m into that kind of thing or would expect him to be.

We stand in the middle of the room. I think he’s giving me time to survey my surroundings and maybe even waiting for me to say something. So I do. “This is nice.”

“Nice?”

I shrug. What does he want me to say? “Pretty doesn’t seem like the right word.”

“Nice works.”

He places his hand on the back of my neck and pulls me close. “This way is new to me, Bleu. I’ve never been with a woman for any other reason than to please myself, so you may have to guide me. Tell me what you like and want.”

What the hell? I’m in no position to guide anyone.

I only nod in agreement.

He brushes his lips over mine softly and slowly. It’s the kiss of two people preparing to make love. I think.

It’s nice. His slow pace is helping me relax.

He pulls downward on the zipper at the back of my dress and chills erupt all over my body. I tense when he grasps the top and tugs it from my shoulders. His mouth moves down my neck and he kisses the bare skin there. “Is this good for you?”

His question sparks a thought I’ve not considered. He’s fucked numerous women but this is his first time to make love as well. He’s as uncertain and lost as I am.