Hysan manages to get some Abyssthe from a passenger on one of the other ships in our fleet. It’s strongest when first taken, so I’m going to drink it as soon as I sense Ochus.
While Hysan transfers ships to get the tonic, I’m in the forward observatory, looking through the telescope. Beside me, Mathias fine-tunes the optics so I can see more clearly. We’re now approaching our fuel stop at the Piscene space station. It looks like a lacy hexagonal snowflake drifting above planet Ichthys. Through a misty shroud of fumes, the planet shines like polished glass.
Ichthys is an ice world, sheathed in glaciers of frozen ammonia and methane. It’s seventeen times more massive than Cancer, so its surface gravity would flatten a human to a crusty smear of frost. The Piscene people use drones to harvest the planet’s meager resources, while they live on their five minor planetoids, practicing spiritual devotion and seeking tranquility.
When I straighten up from the eyepiece and arch my aching spine, Mathias massages my shoulders. “You’re in knots, Rho. Want to take a break and do some Yarrot?”
He’s been coaching me to toughen up my core. The abdominals hold the body in place, he says, so the spirit can wander. He could be part Aquarian—I didn’t realize what a philosopher he was until I started taking his martial arts class.
“Sure, let’s go through some poses,” I say.
We lie on our backs, side by side on the observatory deck. Stretching our arms overhead, we grasp the telescope’s framework to brace ourselves. Then we twist through the motions of all twelve poses, fluidly blending them into a single choreography that Mathias has been teaching as a warm-up for the martial arts lessons. After going through the whole thing three times, as slowly and painfully as possible, we drop to the floor and lie on our backs, breathing rapidly.
“Mathias,” I say after a while, “when the time comes for me to fly that Wasp, you won’t fight me, will you?”
His lips tighten. “I’ll be right beside you.”
I feel my chin trembling. “I may not seem like it later, but right now, I know I can do it.”
He rolls onto his side and leans over me. I look up into his smooth, pale face, and I remember our last lesson on Oceon 6, when he taught me how to use the Ring. I blacked out, and he caught my fall.
I close my eyes, and I’m startled to feel his touch. His hand massages the furrow in my brow, smoothening the crease that’s been there a few days. Then his finger glides down my nose and over my mouth.
He slows down on my bottom lip, and then continues down my chin, throat, and along the centerline of my chest, stopping at my navel. His touch sets my nerves on fire.
“I shouldn’t have said I was too old,” he whispers, and I open my eyes to his midnight-blue orbs. “This whole time, I was too closed-minded to give you the trust I already knew you deserved. It was easier to make excuses, to look for reasons and flaws, than to just admit the simple truth.”
I start to sit up, and so does he. My pulse is racing, and I don’t know if I want to hear what’s coming next or interrupt him now. But as soon as we’re face to face, he says, “I’m in love with you.”
Then he does what I never expected him to do.
He kisses me.
My hands shoot up to stop him, but when our mouths come together, I realize how much and how long I’ve wanted this. The instant our lips touch, it’s an explosion. Hysan’s kisses have a progressive build, but Mathias kisses me with a passionate desperation that comes from somewhere so deep, it takes my breath away.
Instead of pushing him off, my hands press into his hard chest, feeling the strength I’ve waited so long to touch.
When we pull away, his breathing is shallow. As my heart calms down, my mind turns to chaos. I’m too overcome by everything to think—about Hysan, about the future, about what I should say.
“I’m sorry for taking the liberty,” he says. “I’ve been wanting to do that since the solarium.”
“Me too,” I admit before I can stop myself. My heart is pounding, like it’s determined to make every beat count. Mathias and Hysan are night and day—and yet I’ve fallen for them both.
The only thing I can do now is be honest. I reach for Mathias’s hand, and his fingers close around mine. “Mathias—”
“I know you’ve been upset with me, Rho, but please don’t ever doubt my faith in you. You’re a natural leader. I should have told you that a long time ago.” His voice is lush and soothing, and the blue of his eyes is soft. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes the past few weeks, but believe me, all I’ve ever wanted to do is help you.” Then he adds with a wistful smile, “Well, that’s not all I’ve wanted.”
A million different emotions course through me, and I don’t know how I feel about Mathias or Hysan. All I know is that I need to come clean with both of them. “I need to tell you something—”
We fly off the deck and bash against the telescope housing, as an explosion hits the side of the ship. We’ve lost our gravity.