“For another alliance, right?” Kilorn sneers. “Maven did it already. Locked up the Lakelands. Cal needs to do the same. So who is it? Some girl from Piedmont? Really cement what we’re doing down here?”
“It doesn’t matter who she is.” My fist clenches in my lap as I realize that I’m lucky it’s Evangeline. A girl who wants nothing to do with him. Another chink in his flaming armor.
“And you’re just going to let this happen?” Kilorn paces out from behind the sofa, his long limbs making even strides. He glares between Farley and me. “No, excuse me, you’re going to help? Help Cal fight for a crown no one should have? After everything we’ve done?” He’s so upset, I almost expect him to spit on the floor. I keep my face still, impassive, letting him fume. I can’t remember him ever being so disappointed in me. Angry, yes, but not like this. His chest rises and falls rapidly as he waits for my explanation.
Farley does it for me. “Montfort and the Scarlet Guard won’t fight two wars,” she says evenly, emphasizing the words. Conveying a message. “We have to take on our enemies one at a time. Do you understand?”
My family seems to tighten in unison, their eyes going dark. Dad especially. He runs a thumb along his jaw, thoughtful, as his lips press into a thin line. Kilorn is less subdued. Green fire sparks behind his eyes. “Oh,” he murmurs, almost smiling. “I see.”
Bree blinks. “Uh, I don’t?”
“No one is surprised,” Tramy mutters under his breath.
I lean forward, eager to make them all understand. “We aren’t going to give the throne to another Silver king. At least not for long. The Calore brothers are at war, spending their forces fighting each other. When the dust settles . . .”
Dad drops his hand on his knee. I don’t miss the tremble in his fingers. I feel it in mine too. “It will be easier to deal with the victor.”
“No more kings,” Farley breathes. “No more kingdoms.”
I have no idea what that world could look like. But I might soon, if Montfort is everything I’ve been promised.
If only I still believed in promises.
We don’t bother trying to sneak out. Mom and Dad snore like trains, and my siblings know better than to stop me. The rain hasn’t let up, but Kilorn and I don’t mind. We walk down the row-house street without speaking, the only noise coming from our feet squelching through puddles as the storm rumbles in the distance. I can barely feel it anymore, as the lightning and thunder spiral away toward the coast. It isn’t that cold, and the well-illuminated base keeps out the darkness. We don’t have any real destination. No direction but forward.
“He’s a coward,” Kilorn mumbles. He kicks at a loose pebble. It skitters away, spreading ripples across the wet street.
“You said that already,” I reply. “Along with a few other things.”
“Well, I meant it.”
“He deserves every word.”
Silence drags over us like a heavy curtain. We both know this is strange territory. My romantic entanglements aren’t exactly his favorite subject, and I don’t want to inflict any more pain than I already have on my closest friend.
“We don’t have to talk—”
He cuts me off, putting a hand on my arm. His touch is firm but friendly. The lines between us are clearly drawn, and Kilorn values me enough to never cross them. He might not even feel the same as he did before. I’ve changed so much in the last few months. It’s possible the girl he thought he loved is gone. I know what that’s like too, to love someone who doesn’t really exist.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I know what he means to you.”
“Meant,” I growl, trying to push past him.
But his grip tightens. “No, I didn’t make a mistake. He still means something to you, even if you won’t admit that.”
It isn’t worth the argument. “Fine. I admit it,” I force through clenched teeth. It’s dark enough that he might not notice my face turning scarlet. “I asked the premier,” I mumble. Kilorn will understand. He has to understand. “I asked to keep him alive. When the time comes, when we turn. Is that weakness?”
Kilorn’s face falls. The harsh streetlights illuminate him from behind, giving him a halo. He’s a handsome boy, if he isn’t already considered a man. If only my heart fell to him instead of someone else.
“I don’t think so,” he says. “Love can be exploited, I guess, used to manipulate. It’s leverage. But I would never call loving someone else a weakness. I think living without love at all, any kind of love, is weakness. And the worst kind of darkness.”
I swallow thickly. The tears don’t feel so immediate anymore. “When did you become so wise?”
He grins, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I read books now.”
“Do they have pictures?”
Barking a laugh, he starts walking again. “You’re such a kind person.”
I match his pace. “That’s what I hear,” I reply, glancing up at his lanky form. His hair is soaked through now, darker in the wet. Almost brown. Kilorn could be Shade if I squinted. Suddenly I miss my brother so much I can barely breathe.
I won’t lose anyone else the way I lost Shade. It’s an empty promise, with no guarantees. But I need some kind of hope. I need some kind of hope, however small it may be.
“Will you come to Montfort?” The words blurt out of me, and I can’t bite them back. It’s a selfish request. Kilorn doesn’t have to follow me around everywhere I go. And it’s not my place to demand anything of him. But I don’t want to leave him behind again.
His responding grin erases any trepidation I might have. “Am I allowed? Thought it was some kind of mission.”
“It is. And I’m allowing it.”
“Because it’s safe,” he replies, eyeing me sidelong.
I purse my lips, searching for an answer he might accept. Yes, it is safe. Or the closest thing we have to safe. It isn’t wrong to want him out of danger.
Kilorn brushes my arm. “I get it,” he continues. “Listen, I’m not about to storm a city or shoot jets out of the sky. I know what my limitations are, and how many I have compared to the rest of you.”
“Just because you can’t kill someone with a snap of your fingers doesn’t make you less than anyone else,” I fire back, almost electrified with sudden indignation. I wish I could list all the wonderful things about Kilorn. All the important things he is.
His expression sours. “Don’t remind me.”
I grab his arm, nails digging into wet fabric. He doesn’t stop walking. “I’m serious, Kilorn,” I say. “So you’ll come?”
“I’ll check my schedule.”
I dig my elbow into his side and he jumps away, forcing an exaggerated frown.
“Stop it. You know I bruise like a peach.”
I elbow him again for good measure, both of us laughing as much as we dare.
We continue on quietly, lapsing into an easy silence. This time it isn’t so stifling. My usual worries melt away, or at least step back for long moments. Kilorn is my home too, as much as my family. His presence is a pocket of time, a narrow place where we can exist without consequence. Nothing before, nothing after.
At the end of the street, a figure seems to materialize from the rain, shedding drops of dark and light. I recognize the silhouette before my body has time to react.
Julian.
The gangly Silver hesitates when he sees us, only for a second, but it’s enough time for me to know. His side is chosen, and it isn’t mine.
Cold bleeds through me, from fingers to toes. Even Julian.
As he approaches, Kilorn nudges me.
“I can head back,” he whispers.
I glance at him briefly, drawing strength from him. “Please don’t.”
His brows knit with concern, but he nods curtly.
My old tutor still wears his long robes, despite the rain, and he shakes water from the folds of his faded yellow clothing. No use in it. The rain keeps pelting down, smoothing out the slight curls of his gray-streaked hair.