“Maybe.”
“Oh, don’t preach to me, Evangeline,” he snaps, really starting to lose his temper. “You can sit here and blame me for all your problems if you want, but don’t act like you don’t have a hand in them.”
I feel warmth rise in my cheeks as I flush. “Excuse me?”
“You’ve got a choice too, and you keep choosing to stay right here.”
“Because I’m afraid, Cal,” I try to snarl, but it comes out like a whisper.
That stills him, just a little. A cool compress over a fresh burn. “So am I,” he says, his voice echoing the pain in mine.
Without thinking, I say what I really mean. “I miss her.”
He responds in kind. “So do I.”
We’re talking about two different people, but the sentiment is the same. He looks down at his hands, as if ashamed of the love he feels for someone he cannot have. I know what that agony is like. What an anchor it is. How it will eventually drown us both.
“If I tell you something, will you promise to keep it a secret?” I murmur. Like him, I lean forward, until I could take his hands if I wanted. “Even from Julian and Anabel. Especially from them.”
Cal glances up again. He searches my eyes, looking for the trick in me. Waiting for whatever Samos trap he thinks I’m about to spring. “Yes.”
I lick my lips and speak before my brain can tell me to stop. “I think they’re going to kill my father.”
He blinks, confused. “That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Well, they won’t do it, but . . .” For the first time in my life, I take Tiberias Calore’s hand and do not hate the sensation. I grip his fingers tightly, trying to make him understand. “Do you really think Cenra and Iris would trade Maven for someone like Salin Iral?”
“No, I don’t,” Cal breathes. He squeezes my hand, his grasp stronger than mine. “And with your father dead . . .”
I nod as he follows my train of thought. “The Rift dies with him. Returns to Norta,” I say. “Ptolemus won’t have the spine to fight a war with Father dead. No matter how good he is at fighting, he isn’t meant for it.”
“I find that hard to believe,” Cal scoffs, his tone changing. Then his eyes shift, brows knitting together, before releasing like a weight cut loose. Realization washes over him. “You haven’t told your parents this, have you?”
I shake my head.
His mouth hangs open. “Evangeline, if you’re right—”
“I’m going to let him die. I know,” I hiss to myself, at myself. I snatch my hand away, unable to touch or look at him. Fuming, I stare at the carpeted floor, tracing the fine patterns of Red-made artistry. “You’ve always thought me terrible. Is it nice to know you’re right?”
His fingers are hot beneath my chin, tipping my face up to look him. “Evangeline,” he murmurs, but I don’t want his pity. I push him away.
“I hope the gods of Iris Cygnet aren’t real. I can’t imagine what punishments they have in store for me.”
Cal rests his mouth against his knuckles, idly running his hand back and forth over his lips. Eyes far away, he nods in agreement.
“For all of us.”
TWENTY-EIGHT
Iris
Citadel of the Lakes is the safest place I could ever be, and yet I’m on edge, nervous, constantly looking over my shoulder. I see only familiar guards in their blues, almost blending into the mist of a rainy summer morning. Jidansa is here too, the old telky trailing my mother and me as we walk the pathways arching over the vast training grounds. She has a calming presence, much like my mother, and I try to relax with them so close. Below us, regiments of the Lakelander army prepare for war. Those who have already fought, legions ceded to Maven while we were allied, have earned some well-needed rest. The soldiers here are fresh, ready to fight. Eager to win a country for the glory of the Lakelands. The hills and rivers, the beaches of Norta. Their powerful tech towns, bursting with electricity and economic value. The Kingdom of Norta is a gold mine just waiting to be claimed.
Thousands upon thousands of soldiers drill in the rain, unbothered by the wet weather. The same will be true across our kingdom. From Citadel of the Snows to Citadel of the Rivers, the call has gone out. We are mobilizing all we can gather, Silver and Red. The army of the Lakelands is assembled and ready to strike. We have the numbers; we have the abilities. Our enemy is already crippled, and we need only put it out of its misery.
So why do I feel so unsettled, deep in my heart?
Reviewing troops doesn’t require royal finery, and both of us are dressed like the soldiers we support, in blue uniforms edged with glinting silver and gold. Even Mother has stopped wearing her mourning blacks. But we haven’t forgotten Father, or our vengeance. It weighs on us all like a heavy stone. I feel it with every step.
We cross the last bridge, stepping onto one of the many balconies ringing the central structure of the citadel. The windows glow, beckoning with warmth. Despite the calming effect of the rain, I’m eager to get out of the weather. My mother moves quickly, setting our pace, and leads us inside. We’re supposed to meet Tiora for lunch, but by the time we reach the room prepared for our meal, she still isn’t there.
It isn’t like my sister to be late.
I glance at my mother for some kind of explanation, but she merely takes her seat at the head of the table. If Queen Cenra isn’t bothered by Tiora’s absence, then I won’t be either.
Like Mother, I take my seat, ready to wait for Tiora to arrive. The guards hang back at the door, taking up flanking positions, but Jidansa sits. She is a noble of the Merin Line, an ancient and distinguished family here in the Lakelands, and she has served us for many years. While the queen helps herself to some fluffy bread, I inspect the vast array of silverware. Forks, spoons—knives especially. I count the possible weapons on the table out of habit, careful to include the filled water glasses. More deadly than any knife in my hands.
I stare at the water, letting it fill my perception as it fills each glass. The sense is as familiar as my own face. But somehow different now. After what I helped my mother do.
It’s been days since we made our trade, and I can’t get it out of my head. The sound especially. How the Iral lord choked on his last breaths, unable to fight us off. The Calore king’s uncle, someone named Jacos, is a singer, and he removed any fight from the man before we could get our hands on him. Maybe if he could have fought back, I wouldn’t feel so strange. He deserved to die. Deserved worse punishment than we gave. But the memory still fills me with the strange, foreign sense of shame. As if I have betrayed the gods in some way. Gone against their will and their nature.
I’ll pray some more tonight, and hope to find an answer in their wisdom.
“Eat before the food gets cold,” Mother says, gesturing to the plates before us. “Tiora will be with us in a moment.”
I nod and move mechanically, serving myself. Precautions have to be taken. No Red servants, not while we discuss the path ahead. The Scarlet Guard has ears and eyes everywhere. We must be vigilant.
Most of the meal is fish. Butterflied trout, sliced open and fried with butter and lemon. Yellow perch, crusted with pepper and salt. A warming stew of lamprey eel, the heads removed and proudly displayed at the center of the table. Their rows of spiraling teeth gleam in the soft light of the dining room. The other plates hold ears of golden corn, greens tossed in spiced oil, braided breads—the usual bounty from Lakelander crops. Our farms are far-flung and prosperous, able to feed our country twice over. Lakelanders never want for food, not even the lowest Red.
I help myself to a little of each, careful to leave the lamprey for Tiora. It’s an acquired taste, not to mention her favorite.