Volos quickly scanned the room, but I knew he hadn’t missed a single detail. When his eyes found me, they flared, as if he’d zeroed in on his target. He looked me up and down. When the gaze reached my battered face, his eyes narrowed dangerously. I shook my head to let him know I was fine. He seemed to relax a fraction, but not much.
“Welcome to the party,” Aphrodite said, coming forward. “Kate will fill you in on the particulars. I’d advise you not to try to be the hero, John. It won’t go well for any of you.”
He didn’t deign to speak to them. He simply nodded and marched toward me, a man with total focus.
When he reached me, he simply said, “What are we cooking?”
“You ever make an immortality potion?”
The corner of his mouth lifted. “Would it surprise you if I said yes?”
“Not at all. Any of them work?”
“Not a damned one.”
“This one needs to or we’re all dead.”
He took the book from my hands. “Then we better get busy.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Thirty minutes later, we weren’t smiling anymore. The chemicals we were working with normally required a secure lab, plenty of protective gear, and lots of luck. Not only were they extremely flammable, they were also caustic. But instead of thick gloves and goggles, we had our bare hands and lots of cursing and praying.
The cocktail of chemicals was so pungent that all of the guards had retreated to the other end of the room to escape the noxious odors. Even Aphrodite gave us a wide berth. Though they still managed to shout intermittent threats to remind us that one wrong move and they’d shoot someone.
We’d already created the Aqua Regia by mixing the Philosopher’s Hand. The recipe called for four parts vitriol, one part alum, and six parts niter. Once those were mixed, we added sal ammoniac to the distillate. The resulting “King’s Water” was strong enough to dissolve gold—or, we hoped, an immortal sorceress’s horn.
I wiped sweat from my forehead and glanced toward Morales. He was dangerously pale and growing more so by the minute.
“All right,” Volos said, “we need to get the horn.”
He looked at me expectantly, as if somehow, I’d been elected horn harvester without my knowledge or consent.
“I’m not doing it!” I whispered.
We both glanced over to where Yü Nü sat in a half-lotus watching us cook. The serene expression on her face bordered on amused, which did nothing to help my confidence. If we’d done something wrong, she sure as hell wouldn’t tell us.
“I’m not doing it,” Volos said. “She scares the shit out of me. Besides, I already did my big heroic act of the day by coming down here to save your ass.”
“What’s the holdup?” Aphrodite yelled. “The sex acts are almost complete.”
I rolled my eyes and tried to ignore the grunting and moaning coming from upstairs. Apparently, Aphrodite had recruited some of her employees to put on a sex magic ritual in preparation for the wedding. The sounds didn’t do much for my concentration. Especially when I could feel Morales glaring at my back as I had my head down working with Volos on the potion to the dulcet sounds of a woman having multiple orgasms overhead.
“We’re working on it,” I snapped.
“Tut-tut,” Aphrodite called. “No need to get snippy.”
I blew out a deep breath, shot John one last glare, and marched over to face Yü Nü. As I approached, she watched me, unmoving. Up top, the woman peaked for the seventh time in a row.
“Hey, Aphrodite?” I called.
“What?”
“I need a knife.”
“I don’t think so.”
I rounded on her. “How in the hell am I supposed to put that horn”—I pointed at the green horn—“into that potion”—I pointed toward the table—“without a Goddamned knife?”
Aphrodite stormed over and pulled a ceremonial dagger from a garter on their right thigh. “I’ll do it.”
They leapt forward and brandished the knife, like they meant to sever the entire horn from Yü Nü’s head. But the second she touched the sorceress, Aphrodite wailed like they’d been burned. The knife went skittering across the floor.
I walked over and calmly picked it up. By the time I got back, Aphrodite was lobbing threats at a serene Yü Nü. “I swear to Cybele, if you don’t give me that horn, I’m going to disembowel you with a spoon.”
“Big talk for a glorified pimp,” Yü Nü taunted. “You don’t deserve immortality.”
“Shoot them!” Aphrodite shrieked. “All of them.”
The room filled with the sound of several guns priming for the kill. I held up my hands. “Hold on,” I said. “If you shoot us, you’re done for. This room will be full of cops so fast, your head will spin. Aphrodite, please. Let me talk to her.”
Aphrodite crossed their arms and said, “You have one minute.”
I nodded and stepped around her to face the sorceress. “Hey, Yü Nü,” I said. “Look, the recipe doesn’t say I need the whole horn.”
She didn’t speak.
“Yeah, so anyway, I just need to, like, chip off a piece or scrape off some shavings or whatever.”
Those unblinking eyes watched me.
“I know you’re pissed, and honestly, I’m not so thrilled to be here, either. But all I need is some of that horn and all of us have a chance of walking away.”
“I am immortal, girlie. They can shoot all their bullets at me and I will survive.” Yü Nü crossed her arms. “I won’t let you use my magic to save a man who put my family in prison.”
“Well, not to split hairs here, but your family did do a lot of illegal shit. If they weren’t smart enough to cover their tracks, it’s not his fault.”
The sounds of male rumbling came from across the room. Apparently, Morales had some opinions about my handling of the situation. But at that point, I wasn’t real receptive to his advice on matters concerning the Fangshi.
“Look, Yü Nü, I know you hate him. I’m not too thrilled with him right now either. But he doesn’t deserve to die because Aphrodite’s lost their damned mind.” I turned and looked over my shoulder. “No offense.”
Aphrodite’s lips pursed so hard, they resembled a prolapsed anus.
“I promise I’ll only take a little. And once we’re all out of here, I promise you can go back to wanting Morales dead.”
She let out a big sigh. “Okay, fine. But only a little. And don’t tell anyone I gave it to you, or every wizard will be knocking down my door wanting to shave my horn.”
I held my hand over my heart. “You have my word.”
She placed her hands in her lap and lifted her chin to give me access. The jade horn jutted up at me like a tiny middle finger. “Volos, I need a clean dish.”
Rustling sounded behind me. I smelled his cologne before I saw the clear dish appear. “Thanks,” I said, refusing to look at him. “Hold it steady.
I leaned in and brought the knife up horizontally. The entire room was quiet. Even the sex performers upstairs seemed to have fallen silent. I gently placed the edge of the knife along the bottom of the horn. “Ready?”
“Just do it,” Yü Nü snapped.
And just like that, I scraped the horn. A screeching sound cut through the air, like nails on a chalkboard. I winced but kept scraping until several green shavings rested on the dish.
“I think that’s enough,” Volos murmured behind me.
I let out the breath I’d been holding. “Thanks.”
I was close enough that only I heard the words she whispered. When they hit my ears, I froze, but as their meaning registered, I forced myself to act casual and walk away.
When I reached the table, I watched Volos lift the shavings to the light. I leaned in and repeated the words Yü Nü had said. “Once they drink it, run like hell.”
Volos and I exchanged a look. I wished I’d been able to question the sorceress. Ask her if she meant that Aphrodite would kill us or that the potion would never work.
We didn’t have the luxury of wondering. Our only choice was to move forward. Carefully.
Volos placed the shavings into the container of Aqua Regia. The mixture immediately bubbled and hissed. It had been gold in color, but now it transformed to black, white, yellow, and, finally, red.
Volos blew out a breath. “I think that’s it.”
“Finally!” Aphrodite shouted. “Let’s get this show on the road.”
“Hold on,” I said, “I need to be sure.”