“Oh, so this is my fault?” Finn turned around to face her.
“I never said that.” She continued sewing, but she lifted her eyes to look at him. “It’s not just you. Or your father. It’s those damn tracker schools too. They spend so much time teaching those kids that they’re nothing compared to the royal family.”
“It’s not that bad,” Finn insisted.
Annali wasn’t completely off base, but she did greatly exaggerate it. The kids were taught that the higher Trylle had more abilities, and that’s what made them higher Trylle. Part of being a tracker was protecting them, but there was still honor and dignity in that.
It might be a different kind of nobility than the royalty, but tracker children were still taught that they were integral to Trylle society. They were important and had just as much value as the Markis and Marksinna did.
“It’s bad enough.” Annali sighed. “Some days I wish I could pull Ember out of that school and take her far away from here.”
“Then why don’t you?” Finn asked. He stepped away from the basin and pulled out a chair across from his mother. “If you hate it so much here, why don’t you go?”
She shook her head, trying to pretend like she hadn’t given it much thought. “Where would we go?”
“Anywhere you want,” he said with a dry laugh. “You’re not a prisoner here.”
“It doesn’t feel like that,” she admitted.
“Why didn’t you leave?” Finn asked quietly.
For a moment, Annali said nothing. Though they rarely talked of it, she knew that Finn was aware of the affair between his father and the Queen. It would’ve been impossible for him not to be. They lived in a tiny cottage, and Annali and Thomas had spent a good portion of Finn’s childhood arguing about Elora.
“Your father would never leave.” Annali stopped sewing and simply stared down at the pants. “And despite everything, I loved him. I couldn’t leave him.”
“How can you still love him after everything he put you through?” Finn asked.
“Don’t.” She shook her head and looked up at him. “You don’t need to worry about my marriage. I forgave your father, and that’s all that matters.”
“If you say so,” Finn said, unwilling to push the issue.
“This is why it’s so important that you get away from that family while you still can.” She set down her needle and thread and reached across the table, putting her hand over his. Her skin was dry and callused from years of hard work.
“I know why you don’t like the Queen or her daughter, but it’s not the same for me,” Finn said.
“No, it’s worse. You have a chance for a happy life, of loving someone who can actually love you in return. But that is not the Princess. It can never be her.” Annali’s mahogany eyes were pleading with him. “You know that if you continue down this path it will only lead to heartbreak, both for you and the Princess. You need to move on.”
He swallowed hard and lowered his eyes. “I know. That’s why I’m taking the first job I can to get out of here.”
“Good.” She smiled tightly at him. “I’ll miss you, of course, but you need to take care of yourself. Your entire life doesn’t need to be in service of others.”
Finn pulled his hand back from his mother, and Ember burst into the house. Being outside apparently hadn’t done anything for her mood. She started to kick off her boots, but when Annali scolded her, Ember took them off carefully and set them by the door.
Even though she seemed dead set on pouting, Finn decided to try to cheer up. He suggested she change into pants, and he would practice fighting with her. In tracker school, they learned many forms of defense fighting, including mixed martial arts.
That seemed to get through to her, and Ember hurried off to change. Her main goal in life was to become a great tracker like her father and brother, and any time that Finn spent helping her train left her elated.
So that’s how he spent the rest of the afternoon. Outside, in the sleet and slush, teaching his little sister how to fight. Neither of them fought as well as they could, since both their minds were still on the engagement party. It helped distract them, though, and make them forget how badly they wanted to be somewhere else.
And sometimes that was the best Finn could do. Just distract himself until he could forget about the things he couldn’t have. He had a family that loved him and a house filled with warmth, despite its history, and that was more than he could say for a lot of people.
2. Tove
Saturday, October 28