Torn(Demon Kissed Series)

CHAPTER SEVEN

The bond tightened with proximity to him. Damn dragon. I glanced sharply at the huge beast, angry at it for bringing me here. He was Kreturus’ dragon for sure. Why else would he do this to me?

Hesitation, anger, and terror were mixing in my veins as I stood behind Collin. I knew he could sense me, and I knew he was the one who told the dragon to grab me. Part of me was elated that Collin was sitting there, perfect and alive—like before. But so much had changed since he held me in his arms. And now things were screwed up beyond repair.

Slowly, I shifted my foot forward. Collin kept his back to me, not seeming to realize I was there, which was odd since I sensed him as soon as the dragon tossed me off his back. I would have sensed Collin sooner, but I was kind of overwhelmed by that whole flying thing. Damn dragon. I glanced back to see where the beast was, but there was no sign of him. It was just me and Collin alone in the dimly lit cavern. The noise of grackles screeched in the distance, but the area around us was still. We were the only ones here.

As I approached him, I wondered when Collin would sense me. When would he turn around and try to convince me that he wasn’t Kreturus? Would he be different and change the way Eric changed? I couldn’t bear that thought. Collin’s lightness, his playful nature, and his intensity were the things that drew me to him. His loyalty was the reason we were friends—that and he made me feel like I could survive whatever life threw at me. In a sea of storms, Collin had been my rock. But now…what was he? There was only one way to find out.

Collin didn’t turn as I moved slowly toward him. Tension built in my muscles, and I wondered if I was going insane. Why was I approaching him? He didn’t see me. I could have run off without him noticing, but something made me hesitate. I couldn’t say exactly what it was; something about the angle of his downcast gaze or the slump of his shoulders. Whatever the reason, something was wrong. Somehow he failed to notice his own dragon. That seemed impossible. How could he not see something the size of a truck? All the while, the bond was doing weird things inside of me - stirring, pulling, calming - and he sat there like he didn’t notice. Surely it was doing all those things to him too. Surely he could feel my thoughts only a few paces behind him, but he never turned around.

Silently, I stood behind him. His silken brown hair shone in the dim rusty light. My fingers reached out to touch his shoulder, but I hesitated. Right then Collin gasped, and turned so fast that I didn’t see exactly what happened. It was as if his senses were delayed. He had to know I was there. My scent wasn’t shrouded, the bond wasn’t silent, and any normal person would have noticed a chick standing an inch behind him—but Collin didn’t. He didn’t notice me until my finger was nearly on his shoulder. When he rounded on me, he had no idea who I was. Recognition didn’t flash before his eyes as he grabbed my arm and threw me into the wall. I shrieked and tumbled back against the rock, nearly losing my footing.

If someone threw me like that a year ago, I would have cracked a rib, cried, and fallen to the floor. But not now. I staggered and regained my footing before springing at him. Arms extended I launched myself at him and shoved him hard while screaming. I was angry, so angry. My emotions erupted out of my mouth in screams. “What the hell did you do that for? You had your beast drag me here, so you can attack me!”  I shoved him again, but this time when my hands collided with his chest, Collin’s fingers quickly wrapped around my wrists.

He jerked me toward him, and held me in his arms. I struggled to pull away, but stopped when I felt his confusion through the bond. Collin breathed in deeply, as if he couldn’t catch my scent otherwise. “Ivy.” It was like he just recognized me, but wasn’t certain that it was really me. His eyes were strange, hazy like he was in a mental fog. Collin slowly pulled me into a hug, and pressed his cheek to the top of my head. When he released me, I staggered back in alarm. Something was definitely wrong. It was worse than before. Before he tried to convince me that Kreturus wasn’t inside of him, and that I didn’t see what I thought I saw. There was no way he would ever convince me of that. But now he wasn’t acting like that any longer. I wasn’t even sure if he knew where he was. He seemed so out of it.

Concern and suspicion mixed as I asked, “Collin? What happened?”

He shrugged. “Not sure. Everything is blurred. My memories are messed up.” He looked at me, confused. “Some are like a dream—or a nightmare. You died. I saw you die in front of me. A fang from the Guardian slashed through your chest. I tried to reach you in time, but I didn’t. You weren’t yourself. You were screaming at me, and I couldn’t save you.” His eyes were glassy and his expression became increasingly vacant as he spoke, “It didn’t matter what I did or what I said, you wouldn’t let me near you. You were terrified of me.” Collin’s arms had folded tightly to his body. He didn’t have his normal confident stance. He stood like a man shattered.

The need to comfort him consumed me. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him it was all right, but I couldn’t. His behavior was too suspicious. Was this a ploy? Was Kreturus controlling him or was this Collin speaking to me? There was no way to know. I should have turned around and walked away. I shouldn’t have listened to his words. But I did. It was one of those times where I knew I was doing something wrong, something that would screw me later, but I did it anyway. Compassion is a bitch.

Swallowing hard, I pushed back my suspicion, and said, “Those things did happen. But I didn’t die.” I reached to touch his shoulder, but withdrew my hand at the last second.

He looked up at me with desperation in his eyes. The expression was haunted. “After everything I did, I lost her. I tried to save her. I tried to stop the prophecy. I tried to keep her safe. But, I lost her anyway. And in the end…I was the one who killed her.” Glassy eyes overflowed with tears as he stared vacantly ahead. The pain in his voice was too great. Suddenly it didn’t matter to me if he had an ancient demon inside of him, or not. He needed me. He was Collin, completely and utterly in that second. The emotions flowing through the bond revealed everything he said and more. He took the blame for my death. He thought he was the reason I’d died.

Without hesitation, I reached for him. My hand rested gently on his cheek, as I turned his face to look at me. “I’m right here. It’s all right, Collin. I’m alive.” But his expression didn’t change. It was like he locked down his mind to not accept what his eyes were seeing. I took his hand in my mine and pressed his fingers to my heart. “See? My heart’s still beating. I’m alive. You didn’t kill me.”

At first nothing changed. He stared at me with haunted horror, like I was an aberration of his mind messing with him. I kept my hand over his with my heart racing under his touch. His deep blue eyes were locked with mine, and I could see him slowly accepting what his senses were telling him—I was alive. Shock had buried him so deeply in grief that it took him a bit to dig his way out. I stood in front him, silently waiting for the pain to flow out of his eyes and recognition to return. When it did, fear collided with longing. We were so close, and in that lost state, he was himself. There was no way Kreturus would allow himself to be ruled by someone so broken. Very little was penetrating Collin’s mind. But, now that he actually saw me and realized that I was all right, well, now what?


He blinked back tears and spoke so softly that I could barely hear him, “The fang sliced you. I saw it.”

I shook my head, “But I didn’t die. It wasn’t your fault. And I healed.” I slid my fingers along my neckline just above my hidden scar. “See there’s nothing there.” Okay, that was a lie. But, he didn’t need to know that I was still dying right then. My tank top covered the scar and thin blue line of sapphire serum that was still poisoning me. I took his face between my palms, “I’m alive.”

It was in that moment that he allowed hope to penetrate him, and he heard me. Sometimes when things seem too far gone, hope is a fool’s dream. And when the human mind passes that point, there is no bringing it back. I flirted with the edge of that line for a year. It was Collin who kept me from falling over the edge. It was Collin who carried my grief with me. And now, I was the one calling him back from the edge. In that moment I didn’t care about Hell, demons, or Kreturus. Collin was the only one that mattered. The bond flared to life and filled me with joy, relief, and thankfulness.

Collin’s gaze intensified as he realized that I was still alive and in his arms. His fingers clasped the sides of my face, as he lowered his head and pressed his lips to mine, tasting me as if he couldn’t believe I was really there. The kiss was soft and warm. My stomach stirred as I leaned into him. His arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me closer. Heart pounding in my chest, I allowed the magic of the moment to overcome me. I didn’t think about the things that I should have considered. I didn’t think about Lorren telling me that a Valefar could give a demon kiss to anyone, at any time. I didn’t think about stealing my soul back. I didn’t think about Collin setting me up to steal the rest of the power locked within me. I didn’t think at all. We were all there was, all that mattered.

Breathless, he pulled away. Questions were all over his face, “How’d you survive? I thought the sapphire serum killed you.”

I hesitated, not knowing what to do. Confide in Collin or not? Could Kreturus hear me? Was he still inside of him? I didn’t know. I didn’t sense the demon, but it was possible he was hiding. It was possible that I couldn’t sense him. And if Kreturus was still possessing Collin, then he could use the knowledge against me. He could make sure I never healed. He could end my life as soon as he realized that Collin had part of my soul in his body, and that if I died, he’d have all my power.

Looking up into Collin’s face, I made my decision to lie. Besides wondering about Kreturus’ whereabouts, there was another reason not to tell him the truth yet. Collin thought he caused my death, and he couldn’t live with himself. It broke him. Finding him like this let me know that he had a severe weakness—he couldn’t handle losing me. If I told him that I had been poisoned and that the poison was still inside of me—slowly killing me—Collin would do whatever I asked to save me, even give his own life. He’d done that before. I couldn’t risk losing him again. Maybe it was selfish, but I couldn’t do it.

So I lied. I shrugged, and looked away saying, “I must be immune. It hurt like hell, but it didn’t kill me.”

Collin pressed kisses to the side of my temples and pulled me into his arms again. When he released me, a look of hesitation came over him. “Why were you acting like you were afraid of me before?”

Swallowing hard, I said, “I was afraid of you. I thought you were Kreturus.” His expression shifted wildly as I explained what happened, and how it looked as I watched. “What else would I think? It looked like he took possession of you. I was terrified.”

His fingers played with the long curls by my face, “And what about now?” A slow smile spread across his lips.

My heart pounded in my chest. Should I lie or tell the truth? Why did my life feel like a free fall? It was like I was clutching at the air trying to stop the inevitable impact that was destined to come. I hedged, “You’ve always scared me, Collin.” I smiled at him, and turned away shyly, talking over my shoulder. I could feel his eyes on my back. “You said things I didn’t want to hear, called me back from the edge of insanity, and challenged me to live my life better than I was. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, and feared, all wrapped up together. Of course you terrify me.” My arms wrapped around my waist. The confession made me shiver. It wasn’t the answer he was looking for, but it was the truth. And the bond let him know it.

Thinking back to the first time I met Collin, I knew our lives would be intertwined; I just had no idea to what extent—turns out that it was much more than I would have ever dreamed.