He sighed in relief as he smiled at me. It was like the sun bursting through a raincloud. His smile filled me with golden bright happy rays. I wanted to close my eyes and bask in the warm glow.
‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry that this part of the journey was uncomfortable for you. Mr. Kadam and I had a disagreement about luring you into the jungle. He thought we should just tell you the truth, but I wasn’t sure if you would come. I thought that if you spent a little more time with me, you would learn to trust me, and I could reveal who I was in my own way. That was what we were arguing about when you saw us by the truck.’
‘So that was you! You should have told me the truth. Mr. Kadam was right. We could have avoided the entire jungle hike and driven here.’
He sighed. ‘No. We would’ve had to cross through the jungle anyway. There’s no way to drive into the sanctuary this deeply by car. The man who lives here prefers it that way.’
I crossed my arms and muttered, ‘Well, you still should have told me.’
He twisted the apron tie. ‘You know, sleeping outdoors isn’t all bad. You get to stare up at the stars and cool breezes ruffle your fur after a hot day. The grass smells sweet and,’ he made eye contact with me, ‘so does your hair.’
I blushed and grumbled, ‘Well, I’m glad someone enjoyed it.’
He smiled smugly and said, ‘I did.’
I had a quick flash of him as a man snuggled up next to me in the forest, imagined him resting his head on my lap while I stroked his hair, and decided to focus on the matter at hand.
‘Well, listen, Ren, you’re changing the subject. I don’t appreciate the way you manipulated me into being here. Mr. Kadam should’ve told me at the circus.’
He shook his head. ‘We didn’t think you’d believe his story. He made up the trip to the tiger reserve to get you to India. We figured once you were here, I could change into a man and clarify everything.’
I admitted, ‘You’re probably right. If you had changed to a man there, I don’t think I would have come.’
‘Why did you come?’
‘I wanted to spend more time with . . . you. You know, the tiger. I would have missed him. I mean you.’ I blushed.
He grinned lopsidedly. ‘I would have missed you too.’ I wrung the hem of my shirt between my hands.
Misreading my thoughts, he said, ‘Kelsey, I’m truly sorry for the deception. If there’d been any other way—’
I looked up. He hung his head in a way that reminded me of the tiger. The frustration and awkwardness I felt about him dissipated. My instincts told me that I should believe him and help him. The strong, emotional connection that drew me to the tiger tugged at my heart even more powerfully with the man. I felt pity for him and his situation.
Softly, I asked, ‘When will you change back into a tiger?’
‘Soon.’
‘Does it hurt?’
‘Not as much as it used to.’
‘Do you understand me when you are a tiger? Can I still speak to you?’
‘Yes, I’ll still be able to hear and understand you.’
I took a deep breath. ‘Okay. I’ll stay here with you until the shaman comes back. I still have a lot of questions for you though.’
‘I know. I’ll try to answer them as best I can, but you’ll have to save them for tomorrow when I’ll be able to speak with you again. We can stay here for the night. The shaman should be back around dusk.’
‘Ren?’
‘Yes?’
‘The jungle frightens me, and this situation frightens me.’
He let go of the apron string and looked into my eyes. ‘I know.’
‘Ren?’
‘Yes?’
‘Don’t . . . leave me, okay?’
His face softened into a tender expression, and his mouth turned up in a sincere smile. ‘Asambhava. I won’t.’
I felt myself responding to his smile with one of my own when a shadow fell across his face. He clenched his fists and tightened his jaw. I saw a tremor pass through his body, and the chair fell forward as he collapsed to the ground on his hands and knees. I stood to reach out to him and was amazed to see his body morph back into the tiger form I knew so well. Ren the tiger shook himself, then approached my out-stretched hand and rubbed his head against it.
9
A Friend
I sat on the edge of the bed thinking about what Ren had shared with me. Looking at the tiger now, I thought, or perhaps hoped, that I might’ve actually imagined everything. Maybe the jungle is causing me to hallucinate. Is all this real? Is there really a person underneath that fur?
Ren stretched out on the floor and rested his head on his paws. He looked at me with his gorgeous blue eyes for a long moment, and at once, I knew that this was real.
Ren had said that the shaman wouldn’t be back until dusk, which was still several hours away. The bed looked inviting. A nap would be nice, but I was filthy. I decided that a bath was the first order of business and went to investigate the tub, which needed to be filled old-school style – with a bucket.
I began the arduous task of pumping water into the bucket, dumping it into the tub, and starting all over again. It looked easier on television than it was in real life. I thought my arms were going to fall off after only three buckets, but I pushed through the ache knowing how good a bath would feel. My tired arms convinced me that a half bath was more than adequate.
I kicked off my tennis shoes and started to unbutton my shirt. I got about halfway down when I suddenly realized that I had an audience. I held my shirt together and turned around to find Ren watching me.
‘Some gentleman you are. You’re being as quiet as a mouse on purpose, aren’t you? Well, I don’t think so, Mister. You’d better sit outside until I’m done with my bath.’ I waved my arm in the air. ‘Go . . . keep watch or something.’
I opened the door, and Ren slowly dragged his body outside. Quickly undressing, I stepped into the tepid water and began scrubbing away at my dirty skin with the shaman’s homemade herbal soap. After soaping through my hair with the lemony sage bar and rinsing off, I lay back in the tub for a moment, thinking. What have I gotten myself into? Why didn’t Mr. Kadam tell me any of this? What are they expecting me to do? How long am I going to be stuck in the jungle in India?
Questions whirled around in my mind, displacing any coherent thoughts. They tossed around, spinning into a cyclone of confusion. Giving up trying to make sense of it all, I climbed out, dried off, got dressed, and opened the door for Ren who had been lying with his back pressed against it.
‘Okay, you can come back in now. I’m decent.’
Ren wandered back in while I sat on the bed cross-legged and began combing the tangles out of my hair.
‘Well, Ren, I’ll sure be giving Mr. Kadam a piece of my mind after we get out of here. You’re not off the hook yet either, by the way. I have a thousand questions so you’d better prepare yourself.’
I braided my hair and tied a green ribbon around the tail. Tucking my arms behind my head, I lay down on the pillow and stared up at the bamboo ceiling. Ren put his head on the mattress near mine and looked at me with an apologetic tiger expression.
I laughed and patted his head, awkwardly at first, but he leaned in, and I overcame my shyness quickly.
‘It’s fine, Ren. I’m not mad, really. I just wish you two had trusted me more.’
He licked my hand and lay down on the floor to rest while I turned on my side to watch him.
I must have drifted off to sleep because when I opened my eyes it was dark in the hut except for a lantern glowing softly in the kitchen. Seated at the table was an old man.
I sat up and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, surprised that I’d slept so long. The shaman was busy picking the leaves off several plants spread out on the table. As I stood up, he beckoned me closer.
‘Hallo, little lady. You sleep long time. Very tired. Very, very tired.’