6
Choices
I stepped through the entryway and closed the door behind me, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness. I wondered if Ren was next door and debated whether or not to sort things out with him tonight.
I stepped into the living room and gasped softly when I spotted the familiar form of my blue-eyed white tiger sprawled out on the leather couch. Ren raised his head and looked straight into my soul.
Tears came to my eyes. I hadn’t realized that I’d missed this part of him, my friend, so much. I knelt down in front of the couch, threw my arms around his neck, and cried big alligator tears, letting them spill down my cheeks and into his soft white fur. I petted his head and stroked his back. Ren was here. He was finally with me. I wasn’t alone anymore. Suddenly, I understood that he must have felt this way too, being without me all these months.
I choked back a sob. “Ren, I . . . I missed you so much. I wanted to talk to you. You’re my best friend. It’s just that I didn’t want to take away your choices. Can you understand that?”
My arms were still wrapped tightly around his neck when I felt him change. His body morphed and soon his arms were around me and I was sitting on his lap. His white shirt was damp from my tears.
Hugging me close, he said, “I missed you too, iadala. More than you know. And I understand your reasons for leaving.”
I mumbled against his shirt, “You do?”
“Yes. But I want you to understand something too, Kells. You don’t take away my choices. You are my choice.”
I sniffed wetly. “But, Ren—”
He pulled my head back to his shoulder. “This man, Li. You kissed him?”
I nodded mutely against his chest. There was no point denying it. I knew he must have heard it through the door.
“Do you love him?”
“I feel friendship and respect for him, and I like him a lot, but I’m definitely not head over heels about him.
“Then why did you kiss him?”
“I kissed him to . . . compare, I guess. To explore how I really felt about him.”
Ren picked me up and set me on the couch next to him. He was warming to the topic, and I couldn’t figure out why. I expected him to be angry, but he wasn’t at all.
“So dating is how you learn if you like each other?”
“Yes,” I answered hesitantly.
“Did you have other dates or is this the first one?”
“You mean with Li?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Were there others?”
“Yes.” I frowned.
“How many?”
“Three altogether—Li, Jason, and Artie. If you can count Artie. Ren, why all the questions? What are you getting at?”
“I’m just curious about modern courtship rituals. What did you do on these dates?”
“I’ve been out to see a couple of movies, I went out to dinner, I went with Li to a wedding, and I saw a football game with Jason.”
“Did you kiss all these men?”
“No! I’ve only kissed Li, and this was the first time.”
“So Li is the one you favor.” Ren started mumbling to himself. Turning to face me, he took my hands in his. “Kelsey, I think you should keep dating.”
My mouth dropped open. “What?”
“I’m serious. I’ve been thinking about it while you were gone. You talked about giving me choices. I’ve made mine, but you still haven’t made yours.”
“Ren, this is crazy! What are you talking about?”
“Date Li or Jason or whoever you want to, and I promise I won’t interfere. But I also want a fair chance. I want you to date me too.”
“I don’t think you understand how dating works, Ren. I can’t just date three or four men forever. The point of dating is that you end up becoming exclusive with someone you hit it off with.”
He shook his head. “You date to find the person you love, Kelsey.”
I sputtered, “So what am I supposed to tell Li, ‘By the way, Ren is back, and he thought it would be great if I dated you both?’”
He shrugged. “If Li can’t handle a little honest competition, then it’s better for you to know that now.”
“That’s going to make attending wushu class very awkward.”
“Why?”
“He’s my teacher.”
Ren grinned. “Good. I’ll tag along. I want to meet him and I could use a good workout anyway.”
“Uh, Ren, it’s a beginner’s class. You don’t belong, and I don’t want you fighting with Li. I’d really rather you didn’t go.”
“I’ll be a perfect gentleman.” He tilted his head, considering me. “Are you afraid that I’d be the obvious choice?”
“No,” I replied testily. “I’m more afraid you’d squash him like a bug!”
“I wouldn’t do that, Kelsey. Presuming I wanted to, that wouldn’t be the way to win your affections. Even I know that. So will you date me?”
“Dating you would be . . . hard.”
“Why is it easier to date other men than me? And don’t give me the radish explanation again. It’s ridiculous.”
“Because,” I continued quietly, “if it didn’t work out, I could survive without those other men.”
Kissing my fingers, Ren looked intently into my eyes and said, “Iadala, you will never lose me. I’ll always be near you. Give me a chance, Kells. Please.”
I sighed and looked at his beautiful face. “Okay. We’ll try it.”
“Thank you.” He leaned back against the sofa very pleased with himself. “Just treat me like all the other guys.”
Right. No problem there. Just treat the most perfect and beautiful man on Earth, who happens to be an ancient prince of India that was cursed to be a tiger, like he’s just a regular, average guy. No girl in her right mind could look at him—even without knowing everything I know—and think he was average.
He leaned over to peck me on the cheek. “Goodnight, rajkumari. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
The next morning, the phone rang way too early. It was Ren, asking me out to dinner, our first official date.
I yawned sleepily. “Where do you want to eat?”
“I have no idea. What do you suggest?”
“Usually, the guy has a place in mind before he calls, but I’ll cut you a break this time since you’re new to dating and all. I know where we should go. Dress casual and pick me up at five thirty. But you can come over and visit earlier if you like.”
“I’ll see you at five thirty, Kells.”
I puttered around the house most of the day watching our connecting door, but Ren stayed stubbornly on his side. I even made chocolate chip cookies, hoping the smell would entice him over early, but it didn’t work.
At exactly five thirty, he knocked on my front door. When I opened it, he handed me a pink rose and offered me his arm. He was dressed ridiculously well, especially for a casual date, wearing a dark gray long-sleeved striped shirt with a designer down jacket vest.
Outside, Ren opened the Hummer door. Warm air blew out of the car’s heating vents, as he slid his hands around my waist and lifted me up into my seat. He made sure I was buckled in properly and asked, “Where to?”
“I’m introducing you to the pride of the Northwest. I’m taking you to Burgerville.”
On the way, Ren told me about all the things he’d been learning in the last few months, including driving. He shared a funny story about Kishan accidentally crashing the Jeep into the water fountain—after which Mr. Kadam wouldn’t let Kishan near the Rolls.
“Kadam has been tutoring me in every subject imaginable,” Ren continued. “I’ve been studying modern politics, world history, finance, and business. Apparently, living for centuries, plus Kadam’s wise investments, has paid off. We are quite wealthy.”
“How wealthy?”
“Wealthy enough to run our own country.”
My mouth fell open.
Ren went on nonchalantly, “Kadam has established contacts all over the world. They are quite valuable resources, and you would be surprised by how many important people owe him favors.”
“Important people? Like who?”
“Generals, CEOs, politicians from every major country in the world, royalty, and even religious leaders. He is very well connected. Even if I were a man all day and spent every waking hour with him, I couldn’t come close to amassing the amount of knowledge he’s gained over the years. He was already a brilliant adviser to my father, but now he’s nothing short of a genius. There is no reward on Earth that could possibly compensate him for the loyalty he’s shown to us. I only wish there was a way to express our thanks aptly.”
Once in the parking lot of the restaurant, Ren offered me his arm. I took it and said, “Being immortal has its price. Mr. Kadam seems very lonely, and that’s something the three of you share. You’re drawn together as a family. No one can understand what you’ve been through more than Kishan and Mr. Kadam. I think the best thing you can do to repay him is to give him that level of loyalty in return. He considers you and Kishan sons and the best way a son can honor his father is to be the kind of man that would make him proud.”
Ren stopped, smiled, and leaned over to kiss my cheek. “You are a very wise woman, rajkumari. That is excellent advice.”
When we reached the front of the line at Burgerville, Ren let me order first and then asked for seven huge sandwiches, three orders of fries, a large soda, and one large blackberry milkshake. When the lady asked if it was to go, he shook his head, confused, and told her we’d be dining in. I laughed and told the lady he was very hungry.
At the soda fountain, Ren tasted several flavors and ended up going with root beer. Watching him discover new tastes and new foods was hugely entertaining.
Over dinner, we talked about school and my unfinished research project for Mr. Kadam on air, winged creatures, and the test of the four houses. I also filled him in on Jason and my horrid date with Artie. Ren frowned and couldn’t understand why anyone would willingly date Artie.
“He kind of tricks girls into dating him, like me,” I explained. “He’s just super judgmental and self-involved.”
“Hmm.” Ren unwrapped his last sandwich and stared at it, considering.
I laughed. “Are you full, Tiger? It would be a shame to skip your blackberry milkshake. They are the best in the country.”
He retrieved another straw and popped it in the top of the shake. “Here, share it with me.”
I took a sip, and Ren leaned over and sucked down about a third of it in one big slurp. Then he grinned.
“And you said you’d never share a milkshake with me again.”
I teased him with mock dismay, “Oh, no! You’re right! Well, this one doesn’t count. I was talking to your better tiger half. So my promise is still valid.”
“No, you definitely reneged on your promise. And my tiger half is definitely not my better half. That just gives me more incentive to prove you wrong.”
After dinner, we drove to a nearby park and decided to take a walk. Ren grabbed a blanket from the trunk.
“Am I allowed to hold your hand on a first date?” Ren asked.
“You always hold my hand.”
“But not on a date.”
I rolled my eyes at him but held out my hand. We strolled in the park for a while, and he asked me lots of questions about America and its history and culture. He was easy to talk to. Everything was new and fascinating for him.
We stopped at a pond. Ren sat down, pulled me back against his chest, and wrapped his arms around me.
“Just trying to keep you warm,” he said defensively when I shot him a knowing look.
I sniggered. “That’s the oldest trick in the book.”
Ren laughed and brushed his lips against my ear. “What are some other tricks I should try out on you?”
“Somehow, I think you’ll figure them out all by yourself.”
Despite my teasing, being close to him did keep me warm, and we talked and watched the moonlit water for hours.
Ren wanted to know about everything I’d done since I’d left India. He wanted to see Silver Falls, go to the Shakespeare Festival, go out to movies, and try every restaurant in town.
After he’d finished grilling me about things to do and places to go in Oregon, the conversation changed.
He squeezed me tighter and said, “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.”
“Nothing was the same when you left. The spark of life was gone from the house. Everyone felt it. I wasn’t the only one who felt your absence. Even Kadam was subdued. Kishan kept saying that there was nothing the modern world had to offer him and often threatened to leave. But, I caught him on more than one occasion eavesdropping on your phone calls too.”
“I didn’t mean to make your lives more difficult. I’d hoped to make things easier. Make your acclimation back into the world a little less complicated.”
“You don’t complicate my life. You simplify it. When you’re near, I know exactly where I should be—by your side. When you were gone, I just ran around in confused circles. My life was unbalanced. Out of focus.”
“So I’m your Ritalin, huh?”
“What’s that?”
“It’s a medicine that helps people concentrate better.”
“That sounds about right.” He stood, scooped me up in his arms, and said, “Don’t forget, I need frequent doses.”
I laughed and pecked him on the cheek. Ren set me on my feet, folded the blanket, and we walked back to the Hummer with his arm around my shoulders.
I felt good. For the first time in months I felt whole and happy.
When he walked me to my door, he said, “Shubharatri, Kells.”
“What does that mean?”
He flashed me a brilliant, weak-in-the-knees kind of smile and pressed a lingering kiss on the palm of my hand. “It means ‘goodnight.’”
Confused and slightly frustrated, I went to bed.
Confused and slightly frustrated was the standard theme while dating Ren. I wanted him to be around much more often, but he was determined to go through what he called customary dating practices. This meant leaving me to my own devices unless we had a planned date. He wouldn’t even let me see him as a tiger.
Every day, he’d call to see if I was available. Then, he’d ask me out to a movie, to dinner, to go get hot chocolate, or to check out a bookstore. When he determined the date to be over, he left. He completely disappeared, and I didn’t catch a glimpse of his striped self the rest of the day. He also refused to kiss me saying he had a lot of catching up to do. Even though he was on the other side of the wall, I missed my tiger.
We started reading Othello together. Until Othello was deceived by Iago, Ren really liked his character.
“Othello destroyed his and Desdemona’s love, just like Romeo did. It had nothing to do with Iago,” Ren commented thoughtfully. “Othello didn’t trust his wife. If he had only asked her what had happened to his handkerchief or how she felt about Cassio, he would have learned the truth.”
“Othello and Desdemona hadn’t known each other very long,” I countered. “Maybe they weren’t really in love in the first place. Maybe their only real bond was through his storytelling and exciting adventures. Not unlike you, I might add.”
Ren was lying with his head on my lap. He played with my fingers thoughtfully for a minute and asked hesitantly, “Is that why you’re with me, Kelsey? For the adventure? Are you bored sitting here reading with me when we could be hiking in India searching for magical objects and fighting demons?”
I considered that for a moment. “No. I just like being with you, even if all we do is eat popcorn and read.”
He grunted and kissed my fingers. “Good.”
I started reading again, but he jumped up and dragged me into the kitchen with a sudden urge to learn how to make microwave popcorn.
One afternoon I was desperate enough to see my tiger that I decided to seek him out without having an official date planned. I knocked on our connecting door and stepped into Ren’s living room when there was no reply. A few unopened packages were stacked on his counter but other than that the house had an empty feeling. I made my way upstairs.
“Ren?” I called, but there was still no answer.
Where could he be? I thought and stuck my head into Ren’s office. His laptop was on and the screen had three open windows.
Settling in his comfortable leather office chair, I realized the first web page was a very expensive designer clothing store and the second was a link to courtship rituals through the ages.
The third window was an email chain from Mr. Kadam. I felt a bit guilty reading Ren’s messages, but they were so short that before I knew it I’d already read the entire thing.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Documents
Ren,
The issue of the documents is resolved.
Kadam
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Relocation
Ren,
Per your request, I’ve attached a file in case of emergency.
Kadam
Documents? Relocation? What are they up to? I maneuvered the mouse cursor over the attachment. With my finger on the button, I hesitated, debating how far I was willing to let curiosity take me, when a voice made me jump.
“It’s appropriate to ask for permission before snooping into personal documents, don’t you think?” Ren asked casually.
I minimized the window and stood up abruptly. He filled the office doorway, leaning against it on one shoulder while his arms were crossed over his chest.
“I . . . I was looking for you and got sidetracked,” I mumbled.
“I see.” He softly closed his laptop and propped his hip against the desk, considering me. “I’d say you found more than you were looking for.”
I stared at my shoelaces for a few seconds but quickly found a spark of annoyance to assuage the guilt and lifted my head. “Have you been hiding things from me?”
“No.”
“Well is there something important going on here that you’re not telling me?”
“No,” he repeated.
“Promise me,” I said quietly, “promise me with a royal oath.”
He took my hands in his, looked me in the eyes, and said, “As the prince of the Mujulaain Empire, I promise you that there is nothing to worry about here. If you are concerned, ask Kadam.” He leaned his head a little bit closer. “But what I really want is your trust. I won’t abuse it, Kelsey.”
“You’d better not,” I emphasized by poking him in the chest.
He brought my fingers to his lips, distracting me enough that the subject became suddenly very unimportant.
“I won’t,” he vowed softly and guided me back home.
The romantic daze dissipated soon after he left, and I found myself angry at the ease with which he bent me to his will with just a casual touch.
On the Monday after Christmas, wushu classes started again, and I had absolutely no idea what I was going to say to Li. Ren agreed to bow out this time so I could talk to Li first. I couldn’t concentrate through the whole session and made a halfhearted effort in learning the hand forms. I couldn’t keep the names straight. The only ones I could remember were eagle’s claw and monkey.
After class, it was time to face the music. What am I going to say? He’s going to hate me.
“Li, I was hoping we could talk.”
“Sure.” He grinned.
He was happy and carefree, and I was the complete opposite. I felt so nervous that I had to sit on my hands to stop them from shaking.
Li stretched out his long legs on the mat and propped himself up against the wall next to me.
Taking a long drink of water, he wiped his mouth and asked, “So what’s up, Kelsey?”
“Umm . . . I’m not really sure how to say this, so I guess I’ll just spit it out. Ren is back.”
“Oh. I wondered when he’d show up. I figured he wouldn’t stay away from you forever. So, you’re breaking up with me then,” he said matter-of-factly.
“Well, no, not exactly. See, Ren would like me to keep dating you, but he wants to date me too.”
“What? What kind of a guy would . . . wait . . . so you’re not breaking up with me?”
I hurried to explain, “No. But I’d understand if you didn’t want to see me anymore. He feels that I should date both of you and then choose.”
“Well, how . . . sporting of him. And what do you think about that?”
I put my hand on his arm. “I agreed to give it a try, but I told him that dating two guys at the same time isn’t the way things usually go and that you’d never agree to it.”
“What did he say then?”
I sighed. “He said that if you couldn’t handle a little honest competition then it’s better for me to know now.”
Li’s hands closed into fists. “If he thinks I’ll just give up and walk away then he’s wrong! Honest competition it is.”
“Are you joking? You’re pulling my leg, aren’t you?”
“My grandfather taught me to set goals and then fight for what I want and there’s no way I’m letting you go without a fight. A young man who doesn’t have the foresight to seek out the girl he wants to be with and actively pursue her, doesn’t deserve her.”
I blinked. Li and Ren were cut from the same cloth, even though they were centuries apart.
He continued, “So is he here in town?”
“Not exactly,” I sighed, “he’s my new neighbor.”
“Right. He already has a proximity advantage then.”
I mumbled wryly, “Sounds like you guys are planning to storm the castle.”
He either ignored my comment or didn’t hear it. He pulled me up distractedly and walked me to my car.
As Li leaned in my open door, I added, “Oh, and he also wants to come to a wushu class.”
Li rubbed his hands together and laughed. “Excellent! We’ll see exactly what the man’s made of then. Bring him tomorrow! Tell him as a special courtesy, I’ll even waive the class fee.”
“But, Li, he’s not at my level.”
“Even better! The beginner needs to learn a thing or two!”
“No. You misunderstood. He’s—”
Li kissed me hard on the lips, which effectively shut me up. He grinned and closed the door before I could finish my reply. Waving, he disappeared into the darkness of the studio.
The next day, I found a carefully written note taped to the orange juice inside the refrigerator.
Of all forms of caution, caution in love is
perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.
—Bertrand Russell
I sighed, peeled it off the bottle of orange juice, and pressed it into my journal. I called Ren, since he didn’t seem to want to see me other than planned dates, and told him that he was invited to the wushu class. Then I told him flat out what I thought about that idea. He shrugged off my reaction and declared that Li would be an excellent rival and that he was looking forward to meeting him.
Exasperated, I gave up trying to talk him out of it and hung up on him abruptly. He called back several times that day, but I ignored the phone and took a long bubble bath.
That evening, Ren pulled the Hummer out of the garage and came over to pick me up. I really, really, really didn’t want to be in the same room with Li and Ren and couldn’t help feeling grateful that we hadn’t advanced enough yet in wushu to use weapons.
His body filled the doorframe. “Ready? I can’t wait for my first class.”
My sullen silence didn’t seem to faze him at all, and he talked about starting classes at WOU for the entire car ride.
We arrived a few minutes late. Class had already begun, and Jennifer was running through the warm-ups in our corner. Ren walked confidently by my side. Keeping my eyes down, I hurried in, plopped my bag on the floor, and shrugged out of my coat.
I glanced over at Jennifer, who was on the floor stretching her legs. She’d paused in mid-stretch to stare at Ren. Her eyes were practically popping out of their sockets. Li’s stare bored over my head to Ren who returned his gaze boldly and studied Li as if assessing for weaknesses.
Ren took off his jacket, which solicited a squeak from Jennifer who was now totally focused on Ren’s golden-bronze biceps. His perfectly fitted muscle shirt showed off his extremely well-developed arms and chest.
I hissed at him quietly, “For heaven’s sake, Ren! You’re going to give the women heart palpitations!”
His eyebrows lifted up in confusion. “Kells, what are you talking about?”
“You! You’re too—” I gave up in disgust. “Never mind.”
I cleared my throat. “Sorry to interrupt the class, Li. Hey, everybody, this is my guest, Ren. He’s visiting from India.”
Jennifer’s mouth dropped open with a big silent, “Oh!”
Li gave me a questioning look for a moment before he got back to business. He ran us through kicks and forms and seemed thoroughly irritated when he saw that Ren knew every move. Li ordered us to pair up and decided that Ren would partner with Jennifer while he worked with me.
Ren turned toward Jennifer good-naturedly, and she blushed from her feet to the roots of her hair. We were practicing take-downs. Li demonstrated one on me and then asked us all to give it a try. Ren was already talking comfortably with Jennifer, gently guiding her through the move and giving her tips and pointers. Somehow, he’d quickly put her completely at ease. He was very charming and sweet. When she tried to take him down, he fell dramatically and rubbed his neck, causing her to erupt into giggles.
I smiled and thought, Yeah, he has that effect on me too. I was happy that he was being nice to my friend. Suddenly, I found myself flat on my back, staring at fluorescent lights. While I was busy watching Ren and Jennifer, Li had flipped me over hard. I wasn’t really hurt, just a bit surprised. Li’s determined expression immediately changed to regret.
“I’m so sorry, Kelsey. Did I hurt you? I didn’t mean to—”
Before he could finish apologizing, Li was thrown to the mat a few feet away. Ren kneeled over me.
“Did he hurt you, Kells? Are you alright?”
Angry and embarrassed, I hissed, “Ren! I’m fine! Li didn’t hurt me. I just wasn’t paying enough attention. It happens.”
Ren growled, “He should have been more careful.”
I whispered quietly, “I’m fine. And really! Did you have to throw him halfway across the room?”
He grunted and helped me stand up.
Li hustled back over, pointedly ignoring Ren. “Are you okay, Kelsey?”
I put my hand on his arm. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about it. It was my fault for being distracted.”
“Yes. Distracted.” His eyes shifted to Ren briefly. “Good throw, but I’d like to see you try to do that again.”
Ren grinned widely. “Anytime.”
Li smiled back subtly and narrowed his eyes. “Later, then.”
I stood by Jennifer, who was quivering with excitement. She opened her mouth to ask the first of what I was sure were hundreds of questions, and I stuck a finger in the air.
“Hold that thought. I just want to get through class. Then I promise I’ll tell you what’s going on.”
She mouthed, “Promise?”
I nodded.
Jennifer spent the rest of the hour vigilantly watching Ren, Li, and me. I could see the wheels turning in her brain as she listened carefully to every remark and probably categorized every look and casual touch. Li guided us through simple hand forms for the rest of the hour and then abruptly dismissed class. He and Ren seemed to be locked in a staring contest. Both of them had their arms folded across their chests, coldly assessing one another. I walked Jen to the door.
She squeezed my arm. “Your Ren is wonderful. And absolutely yummy. I can see why you had a hard time letting him go. If I were a couple of years younger and wasn’t happily married, I’d lock him up with me and swallow the key. What are you going to do?”
“Ren wants me to date both of them.”
Jennifer’s mouth fell open and I hurried to add, “But I’m not making any decisions yet.”
“This is so exciting! It’s better than my favorite soap opera. Good luck, Kelsey. See you Monday.”
When we were driving home, I asked Ren, “What did you and Li say to each other?”
“Nothing much. I’m going to attend wushu classes, but I have to pay Li’s fee, which he purposely set at an exorbitant amount, thinking that I couldn’t afford it.”
“I don’t like this. I feel like the child in a hostile joint-custody battle.”
He replied softly, “You can date us both or you can break up with Li now. But to be fair, you should give Li at least a week.”
“Ha! What makes you think I’d choose you? Li’s a good guy too!”
Ren rubbed his jaw and said quietly, “Yes. I think he is.”
That comment surprised me, and I quietly thought about it as we drove home. Ren dropped me off, helped me out of the car, and disappeared as usual.
Dating Li, Ren, and Jason at the same time was absolutely ridiculous. It almost felt like I was surrounded by knights jousting for a girl’s favor. As they stomped around in battle armor, sharpened lances, and prepared to mount their horses, I pondered my options. I still had a choice at the end of the day. I could choose the winner, the loser, or none of them. The good news was that it would buy me some time.
I could understand the idea of a romantic rivalry from Ren’s point of view, at least a little. During his century, men probably did battle for females. Surely Ren’s tiger instinct told him to drive off the other males. What I hadn’t expected was Li’s reaction. Who knew that he cared this much? I thought. If Li had just broken up with me, it would have made my part in this little production much easier. Maybe they’d both kill each other in the process, and everybody would die in the end, like in Hamlet.
When we walked into wushu on Monday, Li and Ren seemed to have an unspoken agreement not to look at each other. The class warily watched them, but eventually everyone settled down when nothing happened. Neither Li nor Ren paired up with me anymore.
Li went out of his way to take me to nice dinners and plan elaborate picnics. Ren was content to come over and read with me or watch movies indoors. Kettle corn became his favorite snack, and Ren was an expert at making it. We watched old movies, and afterwards he asked tons of questions. He enjoyed a variety of films, especially Star Wars. He liked Luke and thought that Han Solo was too much of a bad boy.
“He’s not worthy of Princess Leia,” said Ren, which gave me a deeper understanding of his knight-in-shining-armor persona.
On Friday night, Ren and I were about to watch another movie when I remembered I had scheduled a date with Jason. I told Ren he could watch the movie without me. Ren grumbled, then picked up his bag of popcorn, and headed to the microwave.
When I came downstairs in a dark blue dress with strappy shoes and my hair straightened, Ren stood up abruptly and dropped his bowl of popcorn on the floor.
“Why are you dressed like that? Where are you going?”
“Jason’s taking me to a play in Portland. Besides, I thought you had some kind of a chivalrous noninterference policy regarding my dating anyway.”
“When you dress like that, I get to interfere all I want to.”
The doorbell rang, and when I opened it, Ren suddenly moved up behind me to help me into my coat. Jason shifted back and forth very uncomfortably. His eyes darted up to Ren.
“Uh, Jason, this is my friend Ren. He’s visiting from India.”
Ren stuck out his hand and smiled abrasively. “Take good care of my girl, Jason.”
There was a very definite implied “or else” attached to the end of the sentence. Jason gulped.
“Uh-huh. Sure thing.”
I pushed Ren back in the house and shut the door in his face. It was actually a relief being with Jason. I didn’t feel the intense pressure that I now felt with Li and Ren. Not that they were pressuring me. Ren in particular seemed to have infinite patience. I guess that came from his tiger half.
Jason took me to see The Lion King. The costumes and props were amazing, and I caught myself wishing Ren were there with me instead of Jason. Ren would have loved to see how all the animals were portrayed.
After the show, the crowd spilled out onto the sidewalk. People strolled leisurely every which way across the street, forcing cars to edge forward in dangerous spurts as they tried to nudge the patrons along. An elderly lady dropped her playbill in the street and was bending over to pick it up when a car turned the corner.
Without thinking, I ran up in front of the woman and motioned for the car to stop. The driver hit the brakes, but not fast enough. My strappy shoes got caught on a crack in the pavement as I tried to move out of the way. The car bumped me slightly, and I fell over.
Jason ran to help me, and the driver got out. I wasn’t hurt badly. My dress and my pride were damaged, but, other than that, I only had a few scrapes and bruises. A theater photographer ran over to snap some pictures. Jason posed with me in my torn dress and smudged face and provided my name, saying that I was a hero for saving the elderly woman.
Pulling off my broken, strappy shoe in disgust, I made my way to the car. Jason talked excitedly about the accident and thought my picture had a good chance of getting into the theater’s magazine.
He chatted the whole way home about the next term and about the last party he’d gone to. When he pulled up to my house, he didn’t open the door for me. I sighed, thinking, Chivalry is mostly dead in this generation. Jason kept looking at my torn dress and then at the windows. He was probably terrified that Ren would come after him for not taking care of me. I turned in my seat to face him.
“Jason, we need to talk.”
“Sure. What’s up?”
I sighed softly and said, “I think we should stop dating. We don’t have a lot in common. But I’d like to still be friends.”
“Is there someone else?” His eyes darted to the front door again.
“Sort of.”
“Uh-huh. Well, if you change your mind, I’ll be around.”
“Thanks, Jason. You’re a great guy.” A little gutless but still nice.
I kissed him good-bye on the cheek, and he drove off in a pretty good mood.
That wasn’t too bad. I know I won’t get off so easily next time.
I stepped into the house and found another note lying on the kitchen counter next to a small bowl full of kettle corn.
You never lose by loving.
You always lose by holding back.
—Barbara DeAngelis
I’m sensing a theme here. Grabbing a diet cola and the popcorn, I slowly climbed up the stairs carrying my broken, strappy shoes.
One down. And one to go.