12
Of Prophecies and Practicing
It was the same horrible dream I’d had before. It was dark, and I was seeking something desperately. I entered a room and found Ren tied to an altar with a man in purple robes standing over him. It was Lokesh. He raised the knife and cut into Ren’s heart. I jumped on Lokesh and tried to take the knife away, but it was too late. Ren was dying.
Ren whispered to me, “Kelsey, run! Get out of here! I’m doing this for you!”
But I couldn’t run. I couldn’t do anything to save him. I could only crumple to the floor, knowing life without Ren was meaningless.
Then, the dream changed. Now it was dark, and he was sitting in a cage in his tiger form. Bloody lacerations ran down his back.
I knelt down. “Come on, Ren. Let’s get you out of here.”
He changed to a man and touched my face. “No, Kelsey. I can’t leave. If I do, he’ll catch you, and I can’t let that happen. You can’t be here. Please go.”
He kissed me briefly. “Go!” He thrust me away from him and disappeared.
I turned in circles, calling out for him, “Ren? Ren!”
I saw a figure through the fog. It was Ren. He was healthy, strong, and unhurt. He was laughing as he talked with someone.
I touched his arm. “Ren?”
He didn’t hear me. I stood in front of him and waved. He couldn’t see me. He laughed and put his arm around a pretty girl’s shoulder. I grabbed his lapel and shook him, but he couldn’t feel my touch.
“Ren!”
He walked away with the girl and pushed me aside as if I was just a useless obstacle. I started crying.
A bird singing outside woke me up. I’d slept deeply, but I didn’t feel rested. I’d dreamed of Ren all night, captured, a prisoner. And, whatever situation we were in, he always pushed me away, either to protect me or to get rid of me.
Five weeks. Five short, blissful weeks was all we had together. Even if I counted the time he was there but avoided me except for dates, our time in Oregon was only about two months. It was not enough. Not when you’re in love with somebody. Somehow I always seemed to lose the people I loved. How would I live without him?
And yet . . . he was here. My parents were too. I could feel them so close I could almost touch them sometimes. It was the same with Ren only . . . stronger. So many weird things had happened to me. I had a pet snake that also functioned as a fashion accessory; I was almost eaten by a sea-horse vampire monkey; I had a boyfriend who was a tiger most of the time; and apparently I could shoot lightning from my hand.
I was so overcome by Ren’s capture that I couldn’t even begin to process my Thor-like power. What else could possibly happen to me? I didn’t want to think about it because whatever I imagined, the reality would be much worse.
I got dressed and went downstairs to help Mr. Kadam. He was busy working on the computer.
“Ah, Miss Kelsey. Good morning. If you’re ready, I have some maps I’d like you to check for me.”
“Sure.”
He set out a giant map of India and slid over a paper with the translation of Durga’s second prophecy. A sable-furred head bumped against my leg, and I leaned over to pet him. I was happy Kishan was here, but I couldn’t help wishing it was a white tiger sitting next to me.
“Good morning, Kishan. Already eat breakfast? I’ll make you some cookies later if Mr. Kadam has all the ingredients.”
He huffed and settled at our feet. I picked up the prophecy and read it through.
Seek her gifts before all else
For Durga’s blessing waits anew.
The place of gods begins your quest
’Neath Noe’s glacial mountain blue.
Let Ocean Teacher ’noint your eyes;
Unfold the hoary sacred scrolls.
Teach arrant wisdom and advise
Gates of Spirit he controls.
Paradise awaits; remain steadfast
And find the navel stone
Which leads you to the heart of all
Ancient history’s leafy throne.
Atop the world-tree is your airy prize.
Grasp bow and arrow, let fly true.
Discus routs and ‘chief’s disguise
Can stave off those who would pursue.
Four houses shall your spirit test
Of birds , bats , gourds , and siren’s nest.
And last of all look to the sky
As iron guardians round you fly.
India’s masses shall be robed
And rise in strength across the globe.
“Hmm,” I pondered aloud. “Well, the first two lines are obvious. We have to go to a temple of Durga again. We’d already guessed that much. This time, we’ll make sure to bring the proper offering.”
“Yes. I have compiled a list of Durga’s temples all over India, and some that are in nearby countries as well.”
“Kishan, please remind me to wear my bell anklet.”
Mr. Kadam nodded and bent over his notes. I bit my lip and thought about when Ren had given me the anklet. He’d begged me to stay with him, but I’d left.
What a waste. We could have shared all those months together if I just hadn’t been so stubborn. I would have given anything to turn back time. Now, he was gone, taken prisoner, and there was a good possibility that I’d never set eyes on him again.
Trying to snap out of my sad thoughts, I focused on Durga’s prophecy again.
“Noe’s mountain? That’s the Himalayan mountain range? How do you figure?”
“Noe is short for Noah.”
“As in Noah’s ark?”
“Yes.”
“Umm, wasn’t Noah’s ark supposed to have landed on Mount Ararat?”
“You have a good memory. That’s what I thought at first, but Mount Ararat is in modern Turkey, not India. The location of the ark has been hotly debated regardless.”
“Okay, but what led you to the Himalayas?”
“A couple of things led me to that assumption. First, I don’t believe the next item would be hidden in a location that far off the Indian continent. The prophecy mentions that the item would help the people of India, so it doesn’t make sense that it would be so distant.
“The second reason has to do with the tale of Noe, or Noah. The Bible story is not the only one that describes a great flood. In fact, many dozens of cultures have stories of a great flood that covered Earth. I researched and cross-referenced all of the flood myths. There’s Deucalion and Pyrrha of Greece, the Epic Flood story of Gilgamesh, Tapi of the Aztecs, and so on. One similarity among all of them is that, when the rains abated, the people were led to dry ground.
“In India, there is a myth that Manu saved the life of a fish who, in turn, told him the flood was coming. He built a boat, and the fish pulled him to the mountains. Several locations have been suggested as a landing site, but I omitted many of them for not being ‘of glacial mountain blue.’ The mountain that makes the most sense to me is—”
“Mount Everest.”
“Yes. If you take the account literally and assume the entire Earth was flooded, then the land that would appear first would be the Himalayan Mountains. Because the Himalayas ‘touch the sky,’ one could make the assumption that the second quest we will embark on will be related to air. Birds and other flying creatures are featured heavily in the prophecy as well, and the object we are seeking is called an ‘airy prize.’”
“Mount Everest? You don’t think Kishan and I would have to—”
“No, no. Climbing Mount Everest is something only a brave handful of people have ever done. I wouldn’t think of having you attempt that. No, what we are searching for is a city at its base, a city with a wise teacher. I’m hoping that you might be able to make a list of possible cities for me and perhaps think of a place I haven’t yet.”
“It sounds like you’ve already given this a lot of thought.”
“I have. But, as you mentioned before, sometimes a new set of eyes can help.”
Mr. Kadam handed me a list that I went through city by city, checking each one off the map. Sure enough, he had already crossed off every city within a several-hundred-mile radius of Everest. The only site on the map not crossed off was north of Everest and written in Chinese.
“Mr. Kadam? What’s this city?” I asked, pointing to the spot.
“That’s called Lhasa. It’s in Tibet, not India.”
“Well, maybe the teacher lives there on the other side of the Himalayas, but the item we’re seeking is still hidden in India.”
Mr. Kadam froze and then ran to get a book on Tibet. “Wait just a moment . . . a place of the gods.” He flipped open the book and looked in the index. Fingering through pages quickly, he began muttering to himself. “Ocean Teacher . . . spirit gates . . . yes . . . yes!”
He slammed the book shut and grabbed me in a brief hug, eyes twinkling. “That’s it! You’ve done it, Miss Kelsey!”
“What did I do?”
“Lhasa is the city ‘’neath Noe’s mountain’! Its name translated means ‘city of the gods’!”
“What about the teacher who is supposed to show us things?”
“That’s the best part! The Ocean Teacher is probably one of the lamas. Possibly even the Dalai Lama himself!”
“What? Lhasa is nowhere near the ocean.”
“Ah. The verse doesn’t have to mean the ocean literally. It may mean his wisdom is as deep as the ocean or perhaps his influence is as vast as the sea.”
“Okay, so we go to Lhasa and ask to meet with the Dalai Lama.” I chucked the black tiger on the shoulder. “Sounds pretty easy to me, right, Kishan?”
He huffed and stretched his head.
Mr. Kadam mumbled, “Yes. That might be a problem.”
“You don’t happen to have a good relationship with the current Dalai Lama, right? Kind of like Ren’s grandfather did?”
“No. And the current Dalai Lama isn’t in Tibet. He’s living in exile in India. The prophecy clearly indicates we need to go to the city ‘’neath Noah’s mountain’ and begin our quest there. It says here that the Ocean Teacher will anoint your eyes, unfold sacred scrolls, teach wisdom, and possibly lead you to the spirit gates.”
“What are those?”
“Spirit gates mark entryways into shrines in Japan. They are said to be the doorways between the secular world and the spiritual world. When people pass underneath them, they cleanse themselves and prepare for the spiritual journey that will take place beyond.”
“Are there any spirit gates in Tibet?”
“None that I’m familiar with. Perhaps there is a different meaning in the prophecy.”
“Okay, what about this navel stone?”
“Ah, I do know what the navel stone is. I believe it means that you are seeking an omphalos stone. They are stones to represent the center, or the navel, of the world, and several were placed in the area of the Mediterranean, the most famous of which is housed at the oracle of Delphi. Some scholars have submitted that gaseous fumes were directed up through the opening of the stone, and when a seer stood over it and breathed in the gas, he or she would have a vision.
“It was supposed to be a way for humankind to communicate with the gods. It’s also said that when you hold the stone, you can see into the future. There’s a stone in Thailand, one in the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem, and one is the foundation stone for the Jewish temple in the Dome of the Rock.”
“What does it look like?”
“It’s shaped somewhat like an egg standing on end with a hole in the top and carved webbing along the outside.”
“So we find this omphalos stone and sniff its fumes or hold it, and it will show us to a world tree?”
“Correct.”
“And the tree?”
“A world tree is another very common theme in many cultures and myths. There is a wish-fulfilling tree that took care of the needs of the people of India called the Kalpavriksha. It flourished when the people were wise and good, but, when the nature of humankind changed, the tree dimmed.
“In my studies of the Golden Fruit, I found a record of a special tree at the Kamakshi temple in southern India. It’s a mango tree that bears four kinds of mangoes believed to represent the four Vedas or castes. In Norse mythology, there is a tale of a world tree named Yggdrasil. In Slavic and Finnish mythology, they selected an oak tree to represent the sacred world tree. In Hindu culture, it’s a fig tree called Ashvastha. You might think of it as the Tree of Life. There are such trees mentioned in the cultures of Korea, Mesoamerica, Mongolia, Lithuania, Siberia, Hungary, Greece . . . you get the idea.”
“Hmm, yes. I get the idea. So we’re looking for a special tree. Do we at least know what type?”
“No. The stories all use examples of trees common to their lands, but most of the myths refer to something very large, with birds resting in the branches. These tests that are mentioned seem like they would fit that theme.”
“Gotcha. Bottom line, we don’t eat the fruit, right?”
He laughed. “Not all of the myths have fruit, but you are absolutely right. There is a test associated with most of them. Some even mention a giant serpent at the base. The leaves tie Earth to heaven, and the roots are supposed to sink into the underworld.”
“Now as for these . . . tests. Do you think there’s anything scary that will try to eat me like the Kappa?”
He sobered instantly. “I sincerely hope not, Miss Kelsey. In fact, I’m encouraged by the word paradise. I hope these tests will be more mental exercise than physical.”
“Right. I’ll just need to keep an eye out for the iron guardians. So, it says we have to ascend to the top to find the prize and pass four tests. I wonder what it means that India’s masses shall be robed. Do you think it means clothes?”
“It could be a symbol for royalty, I suppose.”
“Well, it sounds like you’ve got this pretty figured out, or at least as much as you can. It seems the next thing to do is go back to Durga’s temple. Do you think it will work without Ren?”
“It won’t hurt to try. You said that Ren had to be in tiger form before Durga accepted your offering. Is that correct?”
“Yes. She specifically noted the relationship between me and Ren.”
“Then it would be wise to have a tiger accompany you. We will use Kishan instead of Ren, if, of course, you are amenable, Kishan?”
The black tiger huffed in response, which we assumed meant yes. I glanced down and petted his head. “Let’s just hope she likes black.”
“Meanwhile, I’ll make some discreet calls to see if I can arrange to meet someone in Tibet or perhaps even with the Dalai Lama here in India.”
“Do you think that will work? Will he agree to meet with us?”
“I have no idea.”
“But shouldn’t we wait for Ren? Shouldn’t we find him first before we head off looking for the next item?”
“Miss Kelsey, I don’t think Ren would want us to wait. Honestly, I haven’t been successful in locating him, and I was hoping that when you discover the second item—”
“That we would be caught up in a vision again.”
“Exactly.”
“And that we might be able to figure out where Lokesh is, which could lead us to Ren.”
“Yes. I know it’s a long shot, but it may be the only clue we get.”
“Alright, I’ll go.”
Kishan growled and changed into a man. “And I’ll go with you.”
“Don’t feel obligated to chaperone me, Kishan.”
He hissed, “Of course, I’m obligated. Ren charged me with taking care of you, and that is exactly what I plan to do. I’m no coward.”
I put my hand over his. “Kishan, I’ve never considered you a coward.
Thank you. I’ll feel much safer with you around.”
His tight face relaxed and he said, “Good. Now that that’s settled, would you like to train for a few hours?”
“That’s probably a good idea.”
Mr. Kadam waved us off. “I’ll work with you a bit this afternoon, Miss Kelsey, perhaps after lunch.”
“Okay. We’ll see you later.”
I met Kishan in the dojo after changing clothes. He worked with me on throwing someone much larger than myself. I had to practice on him several times, and then he put me through a stretching and strengthening circuit. When he finally decided our session was complete, he chucked me under my chin and said he was proud of me.
Just as I was about to head upstairs to have lunch with Mr. Kadam, Kishan ran up behind me and tossed me over his shoulder. He took the stairs two at a time while I pounded on his back. He laughed.
“If you aren’t prepared to throw off your attacker, you will have to suffer the consequences.” He deposited me in the chair across from Mr. Kadam and grabbed some lunch for himself.
I was sore and tired. “I don’t think I’m going to have the energy for another workout in sword fighting today, Mr. Kadam. Kishan really put me through my paces this morning.”
“That’s okay, Miss Kelsey. We can try a different kind of workout instead. Let’s try practicing your lightning ability.”
I grimaced. “What if it was just a fluke? Maybe it was a one-time thing.”
He countered, “Maybe you’ve had the power all along and just never had the motive to use it.”
“Okay, I’ll try. I just hope I don’t end up zapping you.”
“Yes. Do try to avoid that.”
We finished lunch and headed outside. I’d never been out on the grounds before. Patio steps led down to a cleared open area the size of a football field that was surrounded on all sides by jungle. Mr. Kadam had set up bales of hay with target boards at different distances, like the kind in archery tournaments.
“I want to try stationary targets first, and if that is successful, I’d also like to attempt moving targets. Now, you had said that you were angry and needed to protect Ren. It felt like a burning fire that started in your stomach and moved out to your hand, correct? I want you to think back and try to capture that feeling again.”
I closed my eyes and pictured myself in front of Ren as he faltered behind me. I let the feelings rush over me again and created a mental image of his captors approaching me. A hot spark nibbled at my stomach. I focused on it and encouraged it to expand.
It burst like a lava bubble, flew up through my body, and shot out my hand. Thick, white, pulsing light surged from my palm toward the first target and hit. The entire target exploded like a fiery bomb, leaving only fragments of smoking hay, which burned themselves out as they floated, peppering the air. All that was left of the target was a black blast mark on the ground. Tiny black curls of smoke lifted, rose into the sky, and then slowly dissipated.
Mr. Kadam grunted and stroked his beard. “Very effective weapon.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to do that to a person. It didn’t seem as destructive as that on the people.”
“Let’s not worry about that quite yet. First, let’s work on distance. Go for the next target and the next.”
I blasted both of those targets in succession without any waning of intensity.
“Kishan, will you be so good as to set out more targets? This time, I’d like you to set them farther back and side by side.”
Kishan headed down the field, and Mr. Kadam explained, “I’d like you to try to expand your range to encompass all three targets. Try to imagine something large like an elephant or a dinosaur, and you have to hit the whole length of it.”
“Okay, I’ll try.”
I focused on the targets at the other end of the field while waiting for Kishan to move out of the way. Squinting into the sun, I fired off a shot and only hit the far left target.
“It’s okay. Try again, Miss Kelsey.”
This time, I focused on sustaining the burst longer and moved my hand in an arc, letting the bolt hit each of the targets.
“Hmm, interesting adaptation. Now we know you can maintain it.” He rolled a finger in the air in a giant circle signaling Kishan to set them up again.
“Try again. This time, focus on widening it. Close your eyes for a moment and envision a Chinese fan. You hold the edge, and, as it leaves your hand, spread it out in front of you so the blast spreads like a fan’s edges.”
“All right, but stand behind me, okay?”
He nodded and moved slightly behind. I held out my hand and let the fire travel up my arm. I imagined holding the edge and lifted my palm toward the targets. The thick white light shot out slower this time. As it traveled, I spread my fingers out like a fan, willing the power to spread. It worked . . . too well. Not only did I obliterate the targets but also the trees on both sides of the field. Kishan had to drop to the ground so it wouldn’t hit him.
I hollered out, “Sorry!”
He waved that he was alright.
Mr. Kadam signaled Kishan in and said, “Very good! With a little more practice, I think you will be able to hit exactly what you want when you need to. Tomorrow, we will practice degrees and see if we can lower the strength of the bolt to incapacitate rather than . . . umm—”
“Obliterate?”
He laughed. “Yes. It’s all about control. I have high hopes that you will be able to master this, Miss Kelsey.”
“I hope your hopes are right.”
“I would like you to practice a bit more with Kishan on this for the next few days. Think only of targeting and widening your strike. I will work with you tomorrow on focusing your power levels.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
The weeks flew by. Before I knew it, a month and a half had passed. I completed my term online. My teachers were fascinated by Mr. Kadam’s explanation. He’d told them that he’d found a rare artifact that he needed my help to catalog and promised them that I’d write a paper about it.
I couldn’t wait to hear what I’d be writing about. I finished my finals, which gave me something to focus on other than Ren. Mr. Kadam also made excuses at the college for Ren, saying there was a family emergency and he had to return to India. The dean seemed very understanding and willing to do anything he could to help.
After my school work was complete, I helped Mr. Kadam with notes in the early morning and then worked out with Kishan until lunch. The afternoon was set aside for weapons practice. Kishan was teaching me how to take care of the weapons and which to choose in different types of battles. He also taught me hand-to-hand combat and several ways to take down stronger opponents.
I worked with Mr. Kadam in the early evenings on my lightning power. I was now able to control the level so I didn’t destroy my targets. I could shoot a black hole through the bull’s-eye like an arrow. Or, I could hit them all at the same time and knock them over. I could totally obliterate all or just the one I chose.
It was very empowering but also very scary. With this kind of force, I could be a superhero or a bad guy, and I really didn’t want to be either one. All I really wanted was to help Ren and Kishan break the curse . . . and to be with Ren.
In the evenings, I kept to myself and read or wrote in my journal. The house felt different without Ren. I kept expecting to see him standing outside on the balcony. I dreamed about him every night. He was always trapped, either tied to a table or in a cage. Every time I tried to pull him out or rescue him, he stopped me and sent me away.
One night, I woke up from one of my Ren nightmares and got out of bed. I grabbed my quilt and headed out to the veranda. A dark head rested against the rocking loveseat, and, for a minute, my heart stopped. I slid open the door and stepped out onto the veranda. The head moved.
“Kelsey? What are you doing up?”
My poor heart fell back into a dormant state. “Oh. Hey, Kishan. Nightmare. What are you doing out here?”
“I sleep out here often. I like being in the open air and it’s easier to keep watch on you.”
“I think I’m pretty safe here. I doubt you need to keep watch over me while we’re here.”
He moved over and invited me to sit beside him. “I’m not going to let anything get to you, Kelsey. It’s my fault it happened.”
“No, it’s not. You couldn’t have stopped it.”
He leaned his head back against the cushion, pressed his eyes closed, and rubbed his temples. “I should have been more vigilant. Ren thought I would be less distracted than he was. The truth is, I was probably more distracted. It would have been better if I’d never gone to America.”
Confused, I asked, “What do you mean? Why do you say that?”
He looked at me. Golden eyes pierced mine as if searching for the answer to a question he hadn’t asked. He tore his eyes away brusquely, growled, and muttered to himself, “I never learn.”
I picked up his hand. “What’s the matter?”
He reluctantly met my gaze again. “Everything that’s happened to us has been my fault. If I would have left Yesubai alone, nothing would have changed. She would have been Ren’s princess, and she wouldn’t have died. You wouldn’t be in danger now. My parents would have lived normal lives. Because I couldn’t control myself, everyone around me suffered.”
I put my other hand over his, cradling it between mine. He turned his over and clutched my fingers.
“Kishan, you loved her, which I have learned was a very rare thing during that time. Love makes you do crazy things. Yesubai wanted to be with you despite all of the negative ramifications. I bet that even if she knew her life would be cut short, she’d most likely go through it all over again.”
“I’m not entirely sure of that. I’ve had a long time to think it over, and Yesubai and I barely knew each other. Our secret meetings were very brief, and I would be dishonest if I said that I haven’t suspected her of acting as a pawn in her father’s game. I don’t really know if she loved me. Somehow, I think that if I was sure of that, then it would have all been worth it.”
“She tried to save the two of you, didn’t she?”
He nodded.
“She wouldn’t have gone against her father if she didn’t at least care for you. I don’t see how she could have resisted you anyway. You’re as good looking as your brother. You’re sweet, and you’re very charming when Ren’s not around. If she didn’t love you, she was crazy.
“It also makes sense because in my mind the only way she could have possibly refused Ren was if she loved you. Besides, my life would have been much sadder without Ren and you in it.” I squeezed his fingers. “It’s not your fault that these things happened. Lokesh is the one who did these things, not you. He probably would have come after your amulets even if Yesubai hadn’t been a part of your lives.”
“I made a deal with the devil, Kelsey. When you do that, there are prices to pay.”
“You’re right. When you make wrong choices or bad decisions, you always have to face the consequences. But, falling in love is not a bad choice.”
He laughed self-deprecatingly. “For me it is.”
“No, agreeing to go behind your brother’s back was the bad choice, but, in the end, you chose your family. You chose to protect and stand by Ren and help him escape.”
“It was still a mistake. I shouldn’t have trusted Lokesh.”
We sat and rocked quietly for a moment.
I whispered, “Making mistakes is what makes us human. It’s how we learn. My mom always said that making a mistake isn’t bad; what’s bad is refusing to learn from it so you don’t repeat it.”
He leaned over and put his head in his hands. He spoke quietly as if mocking himself, “Right. You’d think I’d learn. Not to repeat history, I mean.”
“Are you in danger of repeating history?” I teased, “Been in contact with Lokesh, have you?”
“I’d kill Lokesh if we crossed paths again, without hesitation. But, am I in danger of repeating history? Yes.”
“I don’t think you’re likely to betray your brother again.”
“Not in the way you’re thinking, anyway.”
I sighed. “Kishan, I don’t want you spending all your free time watching over me. You’re obviously fixating too much on the past. You should be enjoying your new life. Did you date anyone while you were home last fall? Did you go out or take some classes?”
He looked away. “It’s not the past I’m fixating on.” He sighed. “Classes don’t interest me much.” He stood and walked over to the rail. He leaned over and stared at the lit pool below. Softly, he said, “And it seems that the only girls I’m ever interested in . . . always belong to Ren.”
I stared at his back surprised. He turned around and leaned a hip against the railing. He watched my reaction cautiously, his expression vulnerable and solemn.
I stammered, “Are you serious?”
“Yes. I’m serious. I’m a fairly candid, straightforward kind of guy. I don’t joke about this kind of thing.”
“But I don’t get it. Yesubai I understand, what with her violet eyes and long black hair, but surely you—”
“Kells, stop right there. I’m not teasing you or playing any games. It took me a long time to decide if I should even say anything. Look, I know you love him, and I’d never think about trying to take you away from him. At least not when I know there’s absolutely no chance you’d have me anyway.” He smiled dryly. “I don’t handle rejection well.”
He folded his arms across his chest. “But, yes. If Ren wasn’t with you, I’d do everything in my power to keep you in my life. To win you for myself.”
I sat back on the bench, shocked. “Kishan. I—”
“Hear me out, Kelsey. You . . . calm me. You heal what’s broken and give me hope that I can have a life again. And, despite what you may think, you’re as beautiful as Yesubai was. I feel . . .” He looked away from me as if embarrassed, and growled, “What kind of a man am I? How could this happen to me? Twice! It serves me right. This time, Ren wins. It’s fair. We’ve come full circle now.” He turned back to me. “Please forgive me. I didn’t mean to burden you with this.”
Kishan was different when Ren wasn’t around. He let his vulnerability show and didn’t try to cover it with the arrogance and bluster that he always produced to bother Ren. I knew he was speaking sincerely. His heartfelt words affected me deeply. It saddened me. I knew that he needed to recover from the past as much as Ren did. I decided to try to lighten the mood.
I stood and hugged him. I meant it to be brief, but he held on as if I was his only anchor to humanity. I patted his back and broke away. Then I took his hand and pulled him back to the seat. I adopted my mother’s no-nonsense approach to difficult situations. She always said that the best thing you can do to support someone is be their friend and be honest.
I said, “Well, Kishan, for the record, if Ren wasn’t around, I’d date you in a heartbeat.”
Kishan scoffed, “Look, Kells, just forget I even said anything, okay? It’s a moot point anyway.”
“You know, I never said thank you for punching Ren and making him come after me in Oregon. I would have never been brave enough to go back to him.”
“Don’t make me out to be the hero, Kells.”
“But you were my hero. I might not even be with Ren if it wasn’t for you.”
“Don’t remind me. The truth is, I wanted you back probably as much as he did. If he hadn’t gone, I would’ve gone after you to get you for myself, and we might be having an entirely different discussion right now.”
For a minute, I let myself imagine what would have happened if Kishan had come for me at Christmas instead of Ren. I punched him lightly in the arm.
“Don’t worry; I’m here now. It’s probably just my cooking you love anyway. I make a mean double chocolate chip peanut butter cookie.”
I heard him mumble softly, “Right . . . cooking.”
“Can we be friends?”
“I was always your friend.”
“Good. I have a friend and a hero. Goodnight, Kishan.”
“Goodnight, bilauta.”
I turned at the door. “And don’t worry. Your feelings are probably just temporary. I’m sure the more you get to know me, the more annoying I’ll become. I have a grouchy side you haven’t even seen yet.”
He just raised an eyebrow and said nothing.
Despite my assurances that I would be fine without him watching over me, it felt nice knowing there was a tiger sleeping on the balcony. Sleep came upon me. For once, I didn’t have any nightmares.