15
“TONIGHT,” he said, “We will do something slightly more difficult. You can form characters well enough, and have read the trifling pieces I have handed you. Now, something more challenging, I think.”
We sat by one of the tall windows. It was open, letting the night fall inside. Beyond the verandah was an octagonal pond, thick with lilies and flowers, and the cool breeze wafted in a gentle fragrance that mingled with the scent of the oil on Boaz’s feet and hands. It was very quiet, and I found it hard to believe that we were wrapped about by a community of thousands of slaves.
Boaz rose from his chair and moved across to one of the cabinets. He was dressed only in a loose wrap of vivid blue cloth, knotted about his hips and falling in soft folds to his ankles. He wore no jewellery, no metal. I had never seen him dressed so casually before, and it disturbed me. This Magus did nothing on impulse.
He retrieved a small scroll bound with flax thread and brought it over to me, then sat back down opposite, leaning back in his chair. The only light came from a lamp on the wall behind him and the brilliance of the moonlight that fell through the window, and his face lay in shadow.
“Read.”
I fumbled the flax knot, then rolled out the scroll with uncertain fingers, for he had never let me handle anything this fine before. The papyrus was delicate yet strong, and characters had been inscribed upon it in bold strokes.
I recognised the writing. It was Boaz’s, but without quite the beauty I had seen him write before me.
“I wrote that when I was nine,” he said. “Read it.”
My eyes skimmed the words. At first I thought it was nonsense, then I realised it made horrifying sense.
I cleared my throat and read, praying my voice would remain steady and not irritate him with a stumble.
One, three, nine, eighty-one. A form in itself. Three lines of three, nine lines of nine, the square of beauty, let bred into more beauty. Life is numbered from conception to death, rising from and declining into the One. There is beauty in numbers. This beauty is called Regularity, and its essence is Predictability. Everything else is unworthy. Eighty-one, nine, three, One. Life is numbered, all elements of life can be reduced to numbers, life is nothing but the predictability of numbers. There is nothing but numbers. Nothing. Nothing but the One.
I stopped. I could go no further. Tears filled my eyes.
“I was nine when I wrote that. The age of beauty I think, for nine is a special number in itself. An age when a child comes into realisation.”
His voice was distant, remembering. “Tell me what you think of it, Tirzah.”
I answered truthfully. “I find it sad, Excellency.”
“How so?”
I hesitated.
“Speak, do not fear me.”
“I find it sad, Excellency,” I said slowly, “that a boy so young should find life so sterile.”
I waited for the outburst, but it did not come. Instead he leaned across the space between us and lifted the scroll from my hands. He ran his eyes over the first passage, then rolled it up and put it on the floor beside him.
“I do not understand,” he said, and I wondered if he were jesting at my expense. But whatever his face could have told me was hidden in shadow. “I do not understand why you should find these words sterile. Are not numbers beauteous? Does not their contemplation provide one with the answers of life?”
“Excellency, I found it sad that a boy of only nine years could have written that. A child of that age should be out discovering the wonders of life, playing with his fellows.”
“And were you out playing with your fellows at that age?”
I was silent.
“No. You were not. You were inside discovering the beauties of glass, while I was inside studying the numbers and their forms. You caged, I calculated. Which of us is right, Tirzah? Who has seen the most beauty?”
He was moving the conversation into dangerous territory, and I tried to deflect him. “Excellency, how is it that you can use numbers, cold formulae, to explain the myriad wonders of life, to explain life itself?”
The question was a risk, but I had kept my voice respectful and slightly puzzled, and he accepted it.
“Numbers are the building blocks of life, Tirzah. All is ruled by numbers, and all are generated from the One and decay back to the One. Let me demonstrate.”
He stood up and took my hand, forcing me to my feet. I tensed, but he only led me out the door.
Kiamet faded away from his post, giving us privacy.
Boaz kept my hand in his. “See this potted vine?”
I nodded. At our feet was a large terracotta pot with a fat-stemmed vine in it. The vine’s stem grew up a verandah post, leaves branching off it, until it disappeared into the darkness beyond the light.
“See.” His voice was very soft in my ear, and I could feel the warmth of his body. “There is a leaf at the base of the stem. Yes?”
I nodded.
“And then the stem twists once, and another leaf. Then it twists twice, and there is another leaf. Then three times, and yet another leaf. Then five twists, before a leaf, then eight, then thirteen, then…well, I could go on. But the progression is one, one, two, three, five, eight, thirteen, twenty-one and so on. Predictable. Do you understand the predictability in that progression?”
“Yes,” I said slowly. “The next number is obtained by adding the previous two numbers.”
“Yes, very good. Now.”
He pulled me over to a bush growing just beyond. He leaned down and broke off a small branch. “Look, here is where it branches out from the main stem, then it divides twice, then three times, then five…”
“But I thought it was one, one…”
He smiled. “The main stem is the first one, then this broken stem the second one, then it launches into the twin divide.”
He threw the branch away. “There are other progressions in nature. You will find that many plants divide one, two, four, eight, sixteen and so forth. Is it not wonderful? Life is dictated by numbers. There are examples everywhere.”
He paused, and studied my face in the moonlight. “Ah, but I see you yet resist. We are composed of nothing but numbers and our forms are dictated by mathematical and geometrical formulae – not by the whim of gods or fate.”
“I cannot believe you, Excellency.”
“Then I shall prove it to you.” He lifted one of my arms, and slowly ran his fingers from the base of my neck over the beaded collar of the dress then down my arm to the tip of my middle finger. His touch was very soft.
“From the base of your neck to the tip of your longest finger, your arm is exactly half your height. As are your legs. Exactly. But, Tirzah, as measured from the tip of your beautiful head to the soles of your feet, where does your body divide exactly in half?”
I was silent.
Boaz’s hand slid to my waist, firm and very warm. He pulled me gently against him, and my eyes widened.
“Not there, Tirzah.” His hand slid slowly down over my belly, rucking up the material of my linen dress slightly. I shivered. “Whether a man or a woman, their body divides into two at the organs of sexual pleasure and generation.”
I thought he would move his hand down yet further, but although the pressure of it increased, he kept it still. I could not look away from his face.
He laughed softly. “Appropriate, is it not? At that point where a body is precisely halved, so two bodies join to form one and, eventually, one body will divide to create two lives. No wonder, perhaps, that some Magi seek a woman to find perfect union with the One.”
He lifted his hand from my belly to my breasts. “And the body is halved again, quartered, at the breast. Do you want me to go on? There are still further fractions we might explore.”
I couldn’t speak. I was terrified that whatever I said, however I moved, would only encourage him further…and yet…He was so very close, his hands so very sure, and the scent of the oil I had rubbed into his flesh was so very strong. I could feel his heart beating through the wall of his chest. I wondered if this night he would finally bed me, and I wondered that I felt no revulsion at the thought.
A hand shifted to my hair.
“You have such beautiful hair, Tirzah. It is like trapped sunlight. I am so glad that you leave it loose when you come to me.” He took a strand of hair and pressed it to his mouth, and I could feel his breath on my cheek. I closed my eyes and let myself relax. It would be bearable.
He kissed my forehead very gently, then my ear, then trailed his mouth down my neck. “Do you wear it loose like this when you go to the Soulenai?”
And, by the Soulenai, I was so demented by that stage I almost said yes.
But some instinct made me hesitate even as I was mouthing the word…and my eyes flew open, horrified, and I very gently disengaged myself from his arms. “What do you mean, Excellency?”
“You do not know what I mean by Soulenai?”
“No.” My breast was heaving, but I hoped he’d put that down to frustrated desire rather than fear.
“Just as well, my sweet,” and his eyes and voice were frigid, “for I would have killed you had you answered ‘yes’.”
Oh, by all the gods and Soulenai and damned numbers and cursed fractions in existence, I hated him at that moment! He had so very nearly trapped me, using my own weakness to do it. And with that “yes”, not only would I have killed myself, but probably all those I loved in the workshop as well.
He watched me steadily, then waved me back inside the room. “Sit down, Tirzah.”
I sat down, finally regaining my composure.
He sat also, and his face retreated into the shadows. “I am fully aware that someone tried to kill me that day Ta’uz died. But I am in perfect union with the One, and Threshold protected me. Tirzah, who planned my death?”
“Excellency, I have no idea. It was an accident, surely?”
“Was it perchance those Elementals who practise their arts within Gesholme?”
“Excellency!” I pleaded, and my voice broke on the word. He knew my guilt, I was sure of it. All he had ever wanted to do was use me to trap the others in the workshop. Dung lizard!
“Tirzah, listen to my warning.” His voice slid cold and sharp from the shadows. “I know full well that more than those who died planned my death. If I find one piece of evidence that indicts anyone, anyone, then I will have them summarily killed. Do you understand?”
“Yes, Excellency,” I whispered.
We sat for what seemed a very long time. I was tense, not daring to move, breathing as shallowly as I could.
Then Boaz visibly relaxed, and his voice warmed. “I have frightened you, Tirzah. I am sorry.”
He rose, startling me, but he walked over to the cabinet and poured wine into two wooden goblets, handing me one and sitting down again.
He had never offered me wine before, but as he sipped and stared out the window, I raised the goblet to my mouth and took a careful mouthful.
The wine was extraordinary. It was a nobleman’s wine, and certainly better than anything I’d had before. I took another mouthful. There was still silence between us, but it was companionable now. Not cold or dangerous.
It was as though I sat with a different man.
My resentment and loathing faded, and I shifted more comfortably in my chair. I drank some more wine, and wondered why he did not use glass goblets. There was so little glass or metal in this room. I drank again.
“Talk to me, Tirzah,” he said, and I jumped slightly.
“Excellency?” I was confused. Talk about what? And what would destroy this mood?
His goblet was empty, and now he rose to refill it, bringing the wine pitcher back to refill mine as well. “This silence is eating at me, Tirzah, and you must have questions. Ask me one or two.”
I didn’t speak, thinking, suspecting another trap. But Yaqob had been pressing me for information recently, and I realised there was something I could ask Boaz that was reasonably safe in the context of our previous conversation. Something that might provide useful information for Yaqob, and perhaps even the Soulenai.
“Excellency…”
“Ask what you will, Tirzah.”
“Excellency, you have shown me some mathematical progressions, formulae, that rule nature. There is another curiosity I have heard, and I wonder if you might explain it to me.”
“Yes?”
I took a deep breath, then leapt in. “One day I heard two Magi briefly mention the numbers one, three, five, seven, eleven. They are another progression, perhaps.” I prayed Boaz would not read the lie in my voice, for these were the figures Ta’uz had mentioned in connection with the numbers who would die on site. I only hoped Boaz would not remember the conversation he’d had with Ta’uz, or connect it to my question. Even the lie that I’d accidentally overheard Magi converse was dangerous.
But Boaz paid it no mind. “You have given me only five numbers, and in themselves they do not make a progression. What follows the eleven?”
“I do not know, Excellency.”
“Well, then I cannot say what progression those numbers are part of.”
“Oh, but I thank you for your consideration, Excellency.”
The lamp swung in the night breeze, and I saw a tiny smile tug at the corners of his mouth. “You are being very polite, Tirzah.”
I am being very careful, I thought, for I do not want to scare you from this mood. And the next instant I wondered why I’d thought “scare”. Why not jolt? Or shake? And why didn’t I want this mood to end? I hung my head, thinking it best not to respond.
He sighed, and swirled the dregs of his wine about his goblet. “There is only one thing those numbers have in common.”
“Yes, Excellency?”
“They are all incomposite numbers, except the One, of course, which exists outside and beyond the others.”
I did not have to pretend confusion. “Excellency?”
He sat forward, so I could see his face more clearly. “Incomposite numbers are those which cannot be factored – they cannot be divided except by themselves or by the One. They are thus indivisible.”
“Then they would hold a special relationship to the One, Excellency.”
“You are very good, Tirzah,” he said softly, his eyes keen, and I thought I had gone too far. But he reached for the pitcher and poured himself yet more wine. This time he did not offer me any.
“And you are correct. Incomposite numbers hold a very special relationship to the One. They not only have a direct relationship with the One, they are, in a sense, different expressions of the One.”
“So…from eleven the next would be thirteen? Then…seventeen?”
“Precisely, Tirzah. And then on infinitely. Perhaps we will make a Magus of you yet.”
His smile was now wide and open. I had never seen him this relaxed before. Yet I would not relax myself, for that way lay danger. “There is no end to incomposite numbers?”
“No. As with all numbers, they stretch into Infinity.”
I felt a shiver run down my spine. Would Threshold continue to eat into Infinity? How would it manage to sate its appetite when the incomposites stretched into the thousands, and then into the tens of thousands?
“You look very dark, Tirzah. Perhaps I have not convinced you of the importance of numbers and formulae in life.”
“I think it is beyond me, Excellency. I prefer to understand life through less demanding means.”
“And what means might those be, Tirzah?”
The sense of danger swamped me again, but he did not look at me with the flat and cold eyes of the Magus. They were merely curious, as if he really wanted to know.
“I have my Vilander gods, Excellency. They explain the world and all that occurs in it through myth. Perhaps you would like me to tell you –”
“Not tonight,” he broke in, and his voice had a harder edge to it. I visibly tensed, and he relaxed. When he continued, his tone had softened. “But your Vilander gods are very far from you here. It must be hard for you to touch them.”
“Yes,” I admitted, “they are very distant, Excellency. This sun is too hot for them, and there are no rolling grey seas for them to wallow in.”
“But you have a curious mind, Tirzah. You think deeply, and you must entertain many questions. How do you answer them, if your Vilander gods are silent in this land?”
I looked him directly in the eye, and risked a tiny smile. “I ask you, Excellency, when you allow.”
He stared at me, then burst into laughter.
I was shocked, but his laughter was infectious, and my smile stretched wider.
“You have a lovely smile, Tirzah. It lights your eyes. You should smile more often.”
Then he leaned across the space between us and kissed me. He took my face in his hands, but his fingers were gentle, and his mouth tasted of the wine he had drunk. Both his touch and kiss were tender, and very, very sweet. This was not the mouth nor the hands of the Magus who’d sought to trap me under the eaves of the verandah.
Then he leaned back, and the light shone so directly into his face I saw exactly what happened next.
His eyes widened, the fright in them very real. “Go,” he whispered hoarsely. “Go, leave me…before…”
But I was still trapped by the lingering sweetness of his kiss, and I was not quick enough. As I hesitated a change swept over him. The Magus resurfaced, coldness replacing warmth and humour…and then fury boiled forth.
“Get out!” he shouted. “Get out!”
And I fled, sending the chair crashing to the floor in my haste to leave.
My mind was in turmoil, and it was a very long time before I slept. I had talked to two people this night, the Magus and the man. And the Magus did not like the man very much. Underneath the chilling, eminently dangerous face of the Magus, lay a man whom I thought was the very antithesis of the Magus. I wondered when the walls of the Magus had been constructed, and I remembered the scroll he’d shown me. Even by nine he’d stepped onto the path of the Magi, had been seduced by the numbers and the power of the One, and in succeeding years he had built walls so thick that whoever Boaz really was had little chance of escape.
But he did surface occasionally. I thought hard, furrowing my forehead in the darkness of Isphet’s quarters. Boaz would only let the face of the man show when he thought it was safe…when he thought I had been so thoroughly cowed and frightened I would not attempt to take advantage of him.
The second night I had gone to him I had fumbled in my attempts to draw some of the figures and characters, and he had shouted at me until I’d cringed against the desk.
Then he’d relaxed and laughed when I’d tried to write “Excellency” as his name. But the moment I’d relaxed, and called him Boaz, he had instantly reverted to the Magus, and had scared me back into submission.
Tonight he’d watched the effect his threats had on me, then relaxed, sure I was so chastened I would attempt to take no advantage if he softened towards his true character.
And, oh, I’d been so cautious, and had not presumed even when he’d not only laughed, but kissed me. My response had been hesitant and more than careful, and I had not pushed the kiss beyond what it had asked itself.
Then something had frightened him, had scared the Magus back into control.
It had not been my actions, but his. He had been the one to presume, to overstep the bounds, and the Magus had been furious – at himself more than me, I think.
I drifted towards sleep, hating the Magus, but wondering about the man. After that shared laughter and the sweetness of the kiss, I think I would have answered any question honestly.
But the Magus never had the chance to ask it, because Boaz had thought to warn me.