“Oh,” I said, my stomach dropping with disappointment. Because despite the challenges, I supposed I was hoping he was giving me what I wanted—the chance to become a vampire and never be helpless again. After all, even now that he was trying to help me, I was still at his mercy. As long as I remained a human, I would never be truly safe. “So if drinking your blood won’t turn me into a vampire, then what will it do?” I asked.
“You don’t know?” He looked surprised.
I rolled my eyes. “If I knew, would I be asking?”
He was silent for a few seconds, as if contemplating how to begin. “I suppose the power of vampire blood is kept from the humans in the Vale for a good reason,” he started. “Like wormwood, it could be used against them. And you know all about that, clearly, since you have it on you now.”
“What?” I scrunched my eyebrows, getting more and more confused by the second. “I don’t have wormwood on me.”
“You’re lying,” he said stiffly.
“I’m absolutely not.” I didn’t get it—why would he think I had wormwood on me?
He studied me, as if waiting for me to claim otherwise, but I had nothing to confess.
“What happens when a human drinks vampire blood?” I asked instead, bringing him back to the previous subject.
“If the humans knew, they might attempt to rebel,” he said slowly. “But this knowledge will keep you safe, so I’ll tell you.”
“Okay.” I waited, noticing that the puncture marks on his wrist had stopped bleeding and were beginning to heal.
“If a human drinks the blood of a vampire, they’ll have the abilities of a vampire for twenty-four hours,” he said. “Speed, healing, strength… they’ll even be able to drink blood themselves, despite not actually needing it to survive. But more importantly, drinking vampire blood will stop you from freezing to death once we cross the boundary of the Vale.”
“So I’ll sort of become a vampire,” I said.
“Yes.” He nodded. “Temporarily.”
“And what’s the process to turn a human into a vampire?” I asked. “Not temporarily?”
“We’re not discussing that,” he said, his eyes hard. “There’s no time. Besides, I will not turn you—or any human, for that matter—into a vampire.”
“What if it’s what I want?” I was challenging him, but from the way he was staring at me, I knew he wouldn’t back down. At least not right now.
“The change might kill you,” he said. “Or drive you to kill yourself.”
“I’m willing to take that risk.” I raised my chin, not backing down. “I would rather be dead than a victim for the rest of my life.”
“It’s more than that.” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Do you believe in an afterlife, Annika?”
“I don’t know.” I backed away, surprised by his sudden change of subject. “Maybe.”
“Well, I do,” he said. “As a human I was far from perfect, but I never did anything that would doom me to Hell. As a vampire…” Darkness passed over his eyes, like clouds over twin moons. “No vampire who survives the transition is able to control their bloodlust enough at first to stop them from killing. We’re murderers—all of us. Is that the sort of creature you want to become? A monster?”
I gulped, frightened by his confession. Because no, of course I didn’t want to kill.
But I didn’t want to be a weak human for the rest of my life, either.
“I wouldn’t let myself be around a human until I could control it.” I straightened my shoulders, not wanting him to doubt me. “And I would control it. I would learn how to do it.”
“How would you know you could control it without testing it on a human?” He smiled, showing me his fangs. For the first time since discovering what he was, it sunk in that he’d killed before. I knew I should feel scared of him… but I didn’t. Because I trusted he wouldn’t hurt me.
I pressed my lips together, because he had a good point. “I would test it on someone who deserved it,” I said. “On a murderer. A serial killer. There are plenty of humans in the world who don’t deserve to live.”
“So you would play God?” He took a step toward me, but I didn’t back down. “You would doom your soul to Hell for strength and immortality?”
“Not for strength and immortality,” I told him. “For the freedom of knowing I would never have to be scared or helpless again.”
We held each other’s gazes, neither of us saying anything for a few seconds. Just because he was turned against his will didn’t mean he could get me to change my mind. And if he wouldn’t agree to turn me, then somehow, somewhere, I would find someone who would.
“Well, luckily for the both of us, you won’t be turning into a vampire today.” He bit his wrist again to open the wound and held it out to me. “But it won’t be long until Camelia and her guards come after us again. This time, they’ll have wormwood on them, so I won’t be able to compel them. We need to be out of the Vale before they find us.”
I reached for his arm, and fire rushed through my veins as my skin connected with his. His breathing slowed at my touch, and for a moment we stood there watching each other, neither of us saying a word. My eyes roamed to his lips, and I remembered what it had felt like to kiss them. Back in the alley, when I thought he was a human named Jake and that whatever attraction we felt together could be the start of something new.
It was the start of something new all right—just not in the way I expected.
“If you plan to survive what’s coming, you need to do this,” he said. “It’ll give you the strength you need to get out of here.”
“Temporarily,” I reminded him.
“Yes.” His eyes were hard—there was no changing his mind, at least right now. “Temporarily.”
And so, I lowered my lips to his wrist and began to drink.
Jacen
I shuddered the moment her lips touched my skin.
Why did this girl—this stubborn, fiery human girl—have such a huge effect on me? Why was I risking so much to help her escape? Why couldn’t I just hand her over to the guards and forget about her?
All I knew was that since meeting her, I’d felt more alive than I’d felt in the past year since being turned into a vampire. I didn’t want to lose that feeling.
Therefore, I didn’t want to lose her.
She continued to drink, pressing her mouth harder on my wrist and letting out a small groan as my blood passed her lips, as if she never wanted to stop.
But she’d taken more than a sufficient amount. If too much blood left my system, my strength would begin to weaken and I would need to feed again.
“Enough.” I pried my wrist from her mouth, allowing my fingers to brush through her hair.
Her tongue lapped at the blood that remained on my skin, but I forced myself to pull away from her. Desire burned in her eyes as she looked at my wrist.
I used my other hand to tilt her chin up, forcing her gaze to meet mine.
She looked at me the same way she’d looked at my blood, and hot desire rushed through every inch of my body. I wanted to kiss her again. No—I wanted to do a hell of a lot more than kiss her. I wanted to lose myself in her entirely.
But did she still want me after knowing I’d lied to her?
We didn’t have time right now to find out. Instead, I used my thumb to brush away the drops of blood that remained on her lips.
She sucked in a sharp breath as my skin touched hers, and reached for my other arm to steady herself.
Her touch felt colder than before—less human.
My blood must be working.
“How do you feel?” I asked, allowing my hand to drift back down to my side.
She still held onto my wrist, and I made no move to pull away. I told myself that that was because she might need to steady herself as the blood took affect, but really I knew—I just liked the feeling of her skin against mine.
“Strange,” she said, her voice soft and breathy. “Aware.”
“The heightened senses of a vampire.” I gazed down at her, slammed once more with the urge to kiss her.
“Yes.” She looked around as if in a dream, although her hold on my arm tightened, making my heart pound faster.