The chimp smiled widely, nodded, and clapped his hands.
"Johnson, you're a good soldier," Puck said. He lit a match and handed it to the furry creature. The lucky chimp raced over to a collection of fireworks of all shapes and sizes. Johnson lit the biggest red-and-white-striped rocket of the bunch and screamed with glee as it whistled into the air and exploded in the sky. When the lights and noise were gone, the chimps hopped up and down in front of Puck and begged to be the recipient of the next match.
"Sullivan, front and center!" Puck commanded. "Tell me the first rule of war."
The monkey screamed and stomped its feet.
"That's right Sullivan. Kill or be killed," Puck replied, handing him a match. Soon another rocket was flying overhead.
"What do you want?" Puck said when he spotted Sabrina.
"Somebody's in a bad mood," she taunted, stepping over several expired bottle rockets.
"I'm not in a bad mood," Puck said. "I'm busy turning these maggots into fighting machines."
The chimpanzees turned to him, baring teeth and screaming impatiently for another match. Puck's head suddenly morphed into that of a chimp as well and he hissed and spit at them. The chimps quieted and then went right back to begging for matches.
"The only thing keeping you busy is your pouting," Sabrina remarked.
"I'm not pouting."
"Well, something's wrong. There are donuts in the dining room. Normally you'd have already wolfed them all down and finished by licking the box."
"Who cares about donuts? I don't even like donuts," Puck said.
"You like everything. I've seen you eat Elvis's kibble right out of his bowl." There was a long pause. "Are they glazed?" he asked. "Yes, Uncle Jake bought them," Sabrina said. "I don't want anything from him."
"Why don't you like him?"
"He's hogging the old lady. Just cause he's her real son," Puck replied.
"She hasn't seen him in twelve years, Puck," Sabrina explained.
"Why do you care, anyway?"
"I don't!"
"Good!"
There was a long silence.
"If you must know, I've been insulted," Puck said. "By who?"
"By all of you," Puck cried. "I have an impeccable reputation as a scoundrel. I have been banned by thousands of hamlets, hundreds of cities, dozens of countries, and three different dimensions. There are bounties on my head all over the planet and on a few planets you've never heard of. I'm Puck, the Trickster King. I'm the mean and nasty emperor of pranksters. I'm the boy hero to nations of snickering layabouts. My kingdom is the wrong side of the tracks!"
"So?"
Puck snarled. "So?
So?!
So, I threw it all away to protect this family and not one of you appreciates it. I'm ruined and you have all turned your back on me for
Uncle Jake.
He'll save the family, blah, blah, blah!"
"Oh, stop being such a baby. Of course we care about you. Everyone cares about you," Sabrina said.
"You care about me?"
"Don't let it go to your head, gasbag."
"You're in love with me! I knew it!"
"Gross!"
"You want me to be your boyfriend, don't you?" Puck taunted. His wings suddenly popped out of his back and he swooped over to Sabrina. Before she knew how to react, the boy kissed her on the lips. A million thoughts ran through Sabrina's head at once. Puck was annoying. He had dumped her in vats of disgusting glop. He'd put creepy crawlers in her bed. But the most awful thought of them all was the one about the kiss--it was nice.
The two separated and stared at each other for a long time. Puck grinned and broke the silence. "I believe the words you are searching for are thank you."
And then Sabrina punched him in the belly.
Puck hunched over, gasping for breath.
"You try that again, you little freak, and you're going to need a dentist," Sabrina shouted. She turned and stomped back down the path. "We're going out with Uncle Jake. Granny says you have to go. We're waiting in the car!"
Sabrina found the door to Puck's room, opened it, and slammed it behind her. She leaned against the wood, feeling
hot embarrassment on her face. Ever since she had started noticing boys, she had dreamed about her first kiss. She had imagined it would occur on the beach or in a flower garden with a nice boy who really liked her. She had never once, not even in her worst nightmares, thought the boy would be Puck. She couldn't believe her first kiss had been from a dirty, smelly Everafter surrounded by a bunch of screaming chimpanzee pyromaniacs.
She rushed to the bathroom to see if her face looked different. Would anyone be able to tell what she and Puck had just done? She turned the water on, ran some soap over a washcloth, and scrubbed her face. When she was finished, her skin was as raw as when she had tried to scrub off Puck's mustache and goatee. She still looked flushed and embarrassed.
By the time Sabrina got back downstairs, Daphne was tapping her foot by the door.
"Where's Puck?" the little girl asked.
"He's coming," Sabrina said as she snatched her coat from the closet.