Mayor Charming was the hero of about a dozen fairy tales. Also known as Prince Charming, he had saved many a damsel in distress--and married a good number of them, too--but somewhere along the way he had stopped being charming and had turned into a first-class jerk. He was rude and condescending, and for almost two hundred years he had been in a bitter feud with Sabrina's family. He'd vowed to someday buy up the whole town and knock down the Grimm house. Still, there was more to him than just nasty hot air. Sabrina had to admit that the mayor came through in a pinch, once lending a hand to stop a giant from destroying the town and then helping prevent Rumpelstiltskin from breaking through the magical barrier that kept the Everafters trapped in Ferryport Landing, but Sabrina wasn't sure he hadn't done it all out of self-interest.
"Mr. Seven, I asked you a question. Who was the moron who invited the Grimms?" Charming asked angrily.
"I invited them." Charming spun around and saw Snow White enter the gymnasium. At one time the mayor and the teacher were engaged to be married, but Snow White had left the prince at the altar, putting an end to their "happily ever after." Sabrina couldn't blame her. Sure Charming was beautiful to look at, but when he opened his mouth, ugh! Still, it was obvious to anyone that the two were still not over each other.
"When I said moron
I didn't mean you, of course," Charming stammered.
"I would hope not," Ms. White said.
"But why on earth would you invite them?" the mayor said. "This is a ceremony for the Everafter community only. Almost everyone here hates this family."
"Well, I don't, Billy," Ms. White replied. The mayor's angry face immediately softened.
"Well, uh…" Charming stammered. "Of course they're welcome."
He bent over and whispered in Sabrina's ear, "Take your grandmother and sister and find a rock to crawl under until this is over. And go wash your face, child. You look like the captain on the cereal box."
"Well, I suppose it's show time," he said, straightening up and forcing a smile to his face. "Don't want to keep the public waiting."
"Good luck," the beautiful teacher said as she stood on tippy-toes and kissed the mayor on the cheek. Charming's face turned bright red and he looked a little dizzy. He mumbled a few incoherent words and then walked away.
"You've got quite a power over him," Mr. Seven said to Snow White, who turned bright red and giggled. "I wish we could have you around twenty-four hours a day"
She grinned. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to find a spot a little closer to the stage."
Granny winked and Snow White disappeared into the crowd.
Suddenly, two tubby men came through the double doors with Sheriff Hamstead, a Grimm family friend, in tow. The two men wore white shirts, blue jeans, and hard hats, and were carrying a set of blueprints with them. Sabrina recognized them as the sheriff's former deputies, Boarman and Swineheart. The sheriff was doing his best to get their attention. To the casual observer the three looked like normal, if a bit overweight, people, but Sabrina and her family knew their secret identities. Boarman, Swineheart, and Hamstead were really the Three Little Pigs in magical disguise.
"I can't believe you two won't even consider it," Hamstead complained.
"Listen Ernest," Swineheart said, spinning around to face his former boss. "There's a reason why we didn't invite you to be a partner in our construction company. You're obsessed with straw. This new school is made entirely out of wood and brick!"
"I'm just saying that straw has come a long way," Hamstead said. "It has all kinds of practical applications. It's the building material of the future."
"I'd agree if we were building something that was supposed to blow away," Boarman said. "A kite, for instance, would be perfect, but we're building a school, and one that sits very close to a river, too. One thunderstorm with twenty-mile-an-hour winds would knock a straw building over just like that."
The two rotund men walked away, leaving Hamstead to chase after them.
Just then, Mayor Charming climbed onto the stage and stood at the podium. He tapped on the microphone and smiled widely. "Fine citizens of Ferryport Landing. Welcome to a new era in our town's education."
"I don't know why everyone is celebrating," Puck said loudly. "Opening a new school should be cause for a national day of mourning."
The entire audience turned to look at the boy fairy. He grinned broadly and waved. The mayor, on the other hand, bit down on his lip and tried to control his anger before he continued.
"I'd like to thank some of the community organizations that made this event possible. First, let's hear a round of applause for our cosponsors and hosts of today's celebration--Fairy Godmothers Against Drunk Driving."
Several blue-haired ladies in fluffy dresses floated into the air, kept aloft by the little flapping wings on their backs. They all wore T-shirts with FGMADD on them. The crowd applauded as the fairies fluttered around the room.
"I also want to thank the League of Wiccan Voters, the National Association for the Advancement of Handsome Princes, Big Brothers and Ugly Stepsisters of America, and Everafters for the Ethical Treatment of Talking Animals. Their hard work and dedication to this important project has been vital to its success."
The crowd applauded again.
"When Ferryport Landing Elementary was destroyed four days ago, I came out to this site and do you know what I heard?"
There was a brief silence and then a loud, squeaky fart. Sabrina turned and saw Puck fall over with laughter. For once, one of his childish pranks was well timed.
Ruin Charming's stupid little event!
Sabrina secretly cheered.