“Because I won’t get another chance,” Ariel a went on, her eyes filling with tears. “And I know, after your promise to Meghan, after everything we went through to get here, I know you can’t turn back, but…” She pressed close, gazing up at me. “Do you still love me? I can’t…I need to know, before we go any farther. I deserve to know that much.”
I closed my eyes. Emotions swirled within me, guilt and sorrow and regret, but for once, my thoughts were clear. “Ariel a,” I murmured, taking her hands in mine, feeling her pulse race. This would be hard to say, but I needed to get it out, and she needed to hear it. Even if she hated me in the end. “When I lost you that day, my life ended. I thought I would die. I wanted to die, but only after taking Puck down with me. The only thing I was living for was revenge, and I nearly destroyed myself, because I couldn’t let you go. Even when I met Meghan, I felt I was betraying your memory.
“But it’s different now.” I opened my eyes, meeting her starry gaze. “I regret a lot of things. I wish I could’ve been there for you, and I wish that day had never happened. But the thing I don’t regret, the one good thing that came out of it all, is her.
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“Ari…I will always love you. I always have. Nothing will change that.” I squeezed her hand, then gently released it. “You’ll always be a part of me.
But…I’m not in love with you…anymore. And, despite my promise, despite seeing you again, I do this because I want to be with Meghan, nothing else.” Ariel a’s eyes glazed over, and I eased back, speaking as gently as I could. “I can’t be yours, Ariel a. I’m sorry.” For a moment, she stared at me with a completely unreadable expression. Then, unexpectedly, a sad smile crossed her lips.
“That’s it, then,” she murmured, more to herself than me. “For us, anyway.” I blinked, and she glanced up at me, her starry eyes clear. “I didn’t want you to have any doubts, in the end.”
“Is that what you wanted?” I stared at her, aghast. “Were you just forcing me into a decision?”
“No, Ash. No.” Ariel a put a hand on my arm. “I meant what I said. I’ve always loved you, and I wanted you to know before…” She shivered, hugging herself as she stepped back. “I’m happy for you,” she whispered, though her eyes were glassy once more. “You know what you want, and that’s good. It will make it easier….”
“What are you talking about?”
“Oy, ice-boy!” Puck’s voice came, rough with disapproval, from farther up the stairs. “I think you’d better get up here now!” I scowled at Puck, cursing his timing, and glanced at Ariel a. She gazed up the steps, her cheeks dry, her expression resolved. I sensed she was making peace with herself, coming to some important decision.
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“Ari…”
“It’s all right, Ash.” Ariel a raised a hand, not meeting my eyes. “Don’t worry about me. I knew, eventually, it would come to this.” She took a breath, let it out slowly. “It’s time to move on, for both of us.
“So, let’s go,” she said, turning and giving me a brave smile. “We’ve finally come to the end. We can’t stop now.” Puck waited for us near the top of the staircase, the Wolf growling low in his chest beside him. But Grimalkin was also there, calmly licking a front paw in between disdainful glances at the Wolf, so I relaxed a bit.
When the cat disappeared, then I would worry.
Still, Puck looked grave as we joined him, nodding to the top of the stairs. “We’ve got company,” he muttered, and I looked up.
A figure stood at the top of the stairs, robed and hooded, and nearly eight feet tall. Its face was hidden in the darkness of the cowl, and a pale, bony hand clutched a gleaming staff of twisted black wood.
And, though I couldn’t see its face, I felt it was looking right at me.
“I know why you have come, knight of the Iron Court.” The deep voice shivered into me, coming from everywhere, from the thorns and the river and the temple itself. It echoed in my head and in my bones, cold and powerful and older than the stars. It took all my will power not to sink to one knee before the robed figure, and by Puck’s lack of an irreverent smirk and the hair standing up along the Wolf ’s spine, I knew they felt it, too.
“Who are you?” I asked.
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“I am the Guardian at the End of the World,” the figure intoned. “I am the keeper of the Testing Grounds, the one you will have to impress to earn your soul.”
“And you came out just to say hi? That’s awfully considerate of you.” Puck regained his grin and turned to me. “Don’t you feel special, iceboy?
We didn’t even have to go to the End of the World. Be polite to the nice hooded man, and maybe you’ll get a soul.”
“But first, to reach the End of the World, to prove that you are worthy, you must run the gauntlet.”