My breath catches tight in my throat. Oh, Ancient One. There’s nothing but the deepest of sincerity in his amber eyes, his expression one of raw anguish.
I let out a deep sigh. “I respect that. I know your people don’t say that lightly.”
“No. We don’t,” he says. “I want to mate with her, Elloren. For life.”
Oh, Sweet Ancient One. “But you’re Lupine, Jarod, and she’s Gardnerian. Her family is incredibly conservative.”
“I don’t care,” he says. “I don’t care what she is. I don’t care who her family is. I love her. I can’t help it. I just do.”
He places one hand on his hip and brings the other to his temples, like he’s massaging a headache. He looks around blankly, then takes a seat on the hallway bench and drops his head into his hands. “This complicates my life as well, you know. My pack will accept outsiders, but they must become Lupine. If I were to take a Gardnerian female to mate before she became Lupine, I would cease to be a member of my pack. My family wouldn’t cut off contact with me like hers would, but I would not be allowed to return home until my mate became Lupine.”
I sit down next to him. “Aislinn doesn’t want to be Lupine, Jarod. She loves being a Gardnerian. And she loves her family very much.”
“I know.” He’s quiet for a moment, Aislinn’s muffled sobs audible through the door.
“Jarod,” I say, placing my hand on his shoulder. “Give her some time. She didn’t expect to like kissing you so much. It came as a bit of a shock. She always thought of kissing as a rather unpleasant chore, actually.”
“Randall’s an idiot,” Jarod snarls, exposing his gleaming canines. “When I think of him taking Aislinn to mate, I feel physically ill.”
I let out a long sigh. “I think she feels the same way.”
He gives me an imploring look. “Do you think she’ll speak to me again? Before she wandfasts to that fool?”
“I think so. But you might have to give her some time. I think she loves you, too, and it’s scaring her.”
“She’s the last person on Erthia I want to frighten.”
“I know that.”
“You’ll speak to her? You’ll tell her all this?”
I hesitate, but the devastation in his eyes softens me toward him. “I will.”
He breathes a long sigh of relief. “Thank you.”
*
When I return to my room, Aislinn has stopped crying and is sitting on the bed, staring straight ahead at nothing, a traumatized look in her glassy eyes.
“What did he say?” she asks, her voice flat and emotionless.
I sit down in my desk chair and lean forward to face her. “He says that he loves you. That he doesn’t care who your family is. That he still loves you. That he doesn’t care if his own pack disowns him. That he only wants you. For life. And that he never meant to cause you any pain.”
Aislinn begins to sob again. She closes her eyes tight as if her thoughts hurt, turns slowly and lies down on the bed, curling herself into a tight ball, her back to me.
I sit and watch her for a long moment, not sure what to do, heartbroken for the both of them. I blink back tears.
There’s nothing I can do. There’s no easy way out for either of them.
I wipe away my tears, blow out the lamp on my desk, pull a blanket over Aislinn, then lie down next to her and put my arm around her. Aislinn grasps hold of my arm with a firm, desperate grip.
I hold her for a long time, until she finally cries herself to sleep.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Trapped
“I’m worried about you, Aislinn.”
It’s early morning, and she’s sitting against a tree listlessly, dark circles anchored beneath her eyes. Looking like she hasn’t slept at all.
A week has passed, and Aislinn has made an uneasy peace with Jarod. He’s taken my advice, giving Aislinn space to think, although I can see it takes a great effort on his part to do so. Aislinn doesn’t stop coming to Chemistrie, but their note passing ceases.
Aislinn stares at me despondently. “I’m trapped.”
The words hang in the air, a wintry breeze swirling around them. It’s been a strange year—colder every day, but still we wait for snow.
I try to think of something to distract her. “You know, Diana Ulrich is living with me now.”
I’ve chosen my subject well.
Aislinn’s pained expression becomes more muted as her eyebrows arch up in surprise. “Really?”
*
The previous night Diana appeared at my door, two large travel bags in hand.
“I will hurt her if I stay,” Diana announced as she swept into the room and threw her things on my bed.
“Who?” I asked, looking up from my studies, as mystified as Ariel and Wynter by Diana’s sudden presence here.
“Echo Flood...all of them,” Diana informed us imperiously. “I will live with you now. Ah, good, chickens. A snack. I’m famished.”
Incensed, Ariel leaped in front of her chickens and thrust out her palms. A small circle of fire erupted around Diana. This surprised me. I’d seen Ariel start the fireplace fire on numerous occasions, but she never seemed able to summon more than a very small flame.
Diana looked down and viewed the rapidly disappearing ring of fire with disdain. “Why is she so protective of these chickens?”
“Get out!” Ariel hissed.
“No!” Diana replied, indignant as she crossed her arms in front of herself.
“Diana,” I said firmly, “promise Ariel you won’t eat the chickens!”
“But...”
“Just promise her! You cannot stay here unless you leave any birds that make their way into this room alone.”
Diana looked back and forth from Ariel to me like we were both completely unhinged. “All right,” she relented, humoring us. “I promise. I will not eat these chickens. I would just like to know one simple thing.”
I raised my eyebrows at her.
“Are there no normal people in this University?”
I glanced over at Ariel, who was crouched in front of her chickens, eyeing Diana murderously, the terrified chickens glued to her ankles. Then I looked over at Wynter, who was hiding under her wings, and finally at Diana’s glowing eyes. And then there was me, the magic-free Black Witch look-alike.
Laughter at the sheer absurdity of it all bubbled up inside me. “I don’t know about the whole University, Diana, but there are definitely no normal people in this room.”
Diana stared at me for a moment, one eyebrow arched as if mildly affronted. But I caught Wynter’s eye, and she gave me a small, tentative smile.
“I’m going out!” Diana abruptly announced with a dissatisfied huff.
“Where?” I asked.
“To find some rabbits!” she snapped. “Since you are all so protective of these chickens!”
*
“What did she do next?” Aislinn asks, enthralled despite her dark mood.
“She came back about an hour later with a rabbit, proceeded to strip naked and sat glowering by the fireplace eating it.”
Aislinn swallows, mortified. “Naked?”
“Naked,” I confirm, matter-of-factly. “I finally had a chance to speak to Rafe about her, too. He stopped by my room earlier, looking for her.”
“What did he say?”
“He thought the story about her moving in is pretty funny. He thinks everything’s funny. I told him that I’m worried about how much time he’s been spending with Diana. I mean, she’s the daughter of an alpha, and our people aren’t on the best terms with each other.” I hesitate before continuing.
“Go on,” Aislinn prods.
“I told him I didn’t want to see him do something incredibly dangerous...for love.” I glance sidelong at Aislinn, watching for her reaction.
“And what did he say?” she asks, her voice now muted.
“Oh, you know. Typical Rafe. He told me not to worry so much—that he’d be careful. But then he laughed and said that if he was going to do something incredibly dangerous, he really couldn’t think of a better reason to.”
“That’s not very encouraging, is it?” Aislinn says, looking away uncomfortably.
I follow Aislinn’s gaze down the long, sloping field before us, the wilds just beyond.
In the distance a lone figure catches my attention. It takes a moment for me to recognize who it is.