“How can that be? She’s here, I claimed her, and you can't see her with me at all?” I ask, growling in frustration. I wasn't losing her. Not after what we’d just done.
“I have no idea why I can’t see her future. I’m only shown what I need to see most of the time. This could mean any number of things that range from you not being able to claim her, or that you free her to choose and she leaves—I don’t know. Maybe there is a specific reason I am not supposed to see hers or Adam’s futures. I’m trying to figure it out, but, again, it’s not like I can just tap in and ask Danu why she won’t allow me to see their futures.”
“Try to figure it out. Send some feelers out. See just how many of the Blood Fae have missing daughters. Check the larger as well as the smaller clans. If she’s pure Blood Fae, I could potentially keep her for myself, seeing that we have a rather convenient feud with them right now. I could lay claim, and no one could challenge it. Nothing is ever that simple with her, though.”
“What if she isn’t? What if she’s only half?”
“If she isn’t, then she still belongs to me. Otherwise, her family could put up one helluva fight to get her back. Let's not get ahead of ourselves, though.”
“Would you fight for her? I could understand you wanting her as a pet when you thought she was human, but she’s Fae now. It’s a game changer. What if fighting for her means giving up the fight for Faery?”
“I can fight for both, and she’s more than a pet, Ristan. I’m finding it hard to stay away from her at all. She’s like a drug in my veins.”
“And if she doesn’t want you? What then, Ryder?”
“She wants me; she just hasn’t come to terms with it yet. If she were just Blood Fae it would make this a simple thing. She’s got royal blood in her though, and that might cause some issues.” I’d planned to keep her when we’d assumed she was human, and even took steps to ensure that I could, but he was right. This changed everything. Can I actually keep her now that she is Fae? I have no plans of letting her get too close to me, and it really isn’t fair to her. My past is dark, and filled with things that still haunt me. I’d done things that she would cringe at, because she was raised as a human, and if she ever catches a glimpse of it, she’ll willingly walk away from me and not look back. I’ve done things that I now regret, and if she finds out, she’ll hate me for them.
In her eyes, I will be a fucking monster.
“Is that something you are willing to risk, now that we’re so close to being done here? Could you give up who you are, and lose the advantage we have struggled to keep, just because you like fucking her?”
“No, that's not an option. I'll figure it out when the time comes. She also has the look of a few of the Light Fae, so let’s cross that bridge when we get there. We need to worry about who is killing Fae. You and Z didn’t reach out, so I assumed nothing happened.”
“They didn't find any more bodies. No one came back to the park either. We’ve been out searching, but nothing has happened in the last few days. It’s been pretty quiet. We’ve been lucky in that aspect, since you had a Transition to deal with. You made the right choice trusting the men with this. It gives them a sense of responsibility. They need it now that we are close to being finished here.”
“Good. We need to see if this is connected to the Mages, or if it is connected to whoever is trying to kill off Fae. Ristan, if it is the Mages, I want Syn left out of it. She's going to be unstable after Transition, and she isn't going to like it. I'm not sure I can control the beast if she is harmed again. I almost lost control when we found her in that apartment.”
“Are you sure he hasn’t chosen her for more than just food?”
I wince at the thought. “If he has, we're fucked. I can easily keep her, but I can't force this on her. Syn is too strong to be bent to anyone’s will, including mine; which isn’t the easiest thing to admit. Not to mention it would breach the laws of our people. You have seen some of my future, and you know I always do what is right for our people in the end.”
“And if she willingly chose you?”
“You think she would want me? If she knew who I was, and what I have done in the past? No, she'd run. She's unpredictable. Fuck, Ristan, she went into full Transition with me standing beside her and I didn’t feel it. I felt the tension and aggression, and then, I felt her need. There is nothing normal about her, or anything surrounding her for that matter. Someone went through a lot of effort to keep her existence secret. I want to know why and who it was. She’s mine for now, either way.”
~~~~*Synthia~~~~*
My entire body felt as if I'd run a marathon. I blinked and lifted my head before laying it back down as the room started to spin. I brought my hand up and tried focusing, but it was a blur, like everything else in the room. I could make out voices, but couldn't see where they were coming from. I felt no different in my body or mind; unless you counted the ‘unable to see shit,’ part.