First, I spit out a mouthful of dirt. Then, I screamed at the sky. “That’s it! I’ve had it! Everything is trying to kill me! All I did was make one stupid wish. Aladdin made three. I’m the hero of this story, so where’s my happy ending, already? It’s not fair.”
Rexi bent over, trying to catch her breath. “You know what’s not fair? Spending Muse Day as a toad just because the kitchen ran out of frog legs. Or being volunteered for this little journey. So build a bridge, then make like a billy goat and get over it already because no one is listening.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to understand, since you never had much to start with.” I sniffed. “Besides, you should be thanking me, since my wish is the only reason you’re not still covered in slimy warts.”
“You worthless piece of fluff!” Rexi launched herself at me. “Look around you! Your wishful thinking ruined everyone’s life.”
She pinned me against the ground, pulling my hair and scratching my face in the process. I threw up my arms instinctively. Aside from “How to Give an Open-Handed Slap,” the proper way to fight had not been in the princess charm-school curriculum.
With a flurry of hands, I swatted at the space in front me. “I order you to get off!”
Rexi growled in response, yanking my shoulders up before slamming them back down. “Not until you admit it. You’re more worried about replacing your wardrobe than getting your parents back.”
The world seemed to go quiet, like it was holding its breath. Kato had been about to intervene but now backed away from the invisible line that Rexi had just crossed. I no longer gave a bubbling cauldron about how a princess should fight. Instead, I let my fear and fury take over and started hitting back. Using my legs for leverage, I bucked up and flipped her over. The sparkle of my ruby heel caught my eye. I yanked it out from under the tree root and raised it high.
“Take. It. Back.”
For the first time, Rexi looked at me with fear in her eyes—and not just because a curse said I might end the world.
Her mouth moved but nothing came out.
“I can’t hear you.”
“I’m—” Her eyes widened and she pointed behind me. “Look!”
“Try again.”
“No really, I swear,” she said earnestly.
“If she moves, eat her,” I instructed Kato.
I looked to the treetops where Rexi pointed. According to her makeshift map, we should have been in the Sherwood Forest. If that was true, then the wish had struck here as well; the usually rigid ironwood oaks were now gnarled and twisted. The treetops rustled and swayed like they were alive, but only one at a time. In a pattern. That was moving closer. Fast.
Weapon—wicked heel—already in hand, I faced the trees and stood my ground to confront our next opponent. With one fight under my sash, I felt a little more prepared to defend myself. Kato joined me, tail swinging high, ready to use like a whip. Rexi got up off the dirt and leaves to complete our defensive line. Well, more like defensive triangle since she stood noticeably behind Kato and I.
“There.” She pointed at a sparkle of gold moving through the branches.
I squinted to focus in on any details. My heart stilled, then beat wildly. I could just make out a big, bulky black lump riding a sputtering and clunking broomstick.
I bounced up and down unevenly on one shoe. “It’s Verte!” It had to be. Please be. “Over here,” I cried, waving my arms.
“Shhh,” someone chided and whacked my back. I turned, ready to let Rexi have it, but she held up her hands.
“The dog did it.”
Sure. Only in this case, she might be right. Kato poked me in the side with his horns, growling a strange combination of gargling and hissing. Wait, when did he get big enough to be waist height?
“Bad Kato.” I shook my shoe in front of his nose. “Help is here.”
The broom and its rider crashed down through the trees. Joy leaped through me at the initial sight of black, wiry hair; the feeling quickly dissipated. Verte’s hair only covered her head and maybe a bit under her lip and arms—not her entire body. She also favored the pointiest hat she could find, rather than the boxy gold fez that rolled to my feet.
“This is help?” Rexi scoffed behind me. “It’s a flying monkey.”
The party crasher was not technically a monkey, but a gorilla in a finely made tuxedo. Wearing those kind of clothes, he must have been human before…
Before you and your wish came along, a little voice in my head whispered. It sounded remarkably like a certain snarky servant.
“Those who were very recently toads have no room to mock,” I countered over my shoulder to the real Rexi, to combat the imaginary Rexi in my head.
The large gorilla bowed low. “Lady Emerald.”
A smile tugged on my lips. “Well, it’s about time we met someone with manners—eep.”
My sentiment was cut short as the gorilla changed his formal greeting into a forward rush, scooping up his hat—and me with it. Before I knew it, he’d flipped me over onto his back like a mountain troll with the catch of the day.