“Rose. Thank you,” she said. “Just keep them together and keep them close, away from the Guardians.”
Rose nodded, wariness overcoming sleepiness. “Of course. Now, go find Alex. The world will be a different place for you once you’ve avenged your family, Lena. You’ll make it right.”
She hoped Rose was right. The things she needed to make right were piling up on her. Sometimes she wanted to push them away for a minute so she could breathe.
She checked Alex’s office first. Next, she tried his rarely used personal quarters. As she raised her arm to knock, the door was pulled open from the inside.
Alex blinked in surprise, a huge reaction for the man. “There you are.”
“Rose told me you were looking for me.”
“I was. We wanted to bump up our departure, if you’re ready.”
A breath slipped out, long and slow. “I’m ready.” Did she really sound that listless?
He frowned. “What’s wrong? You’re supposed to be excited.”
“Nothing. I am.”
“Uh huh.” He leaned out and looked up and down the hallway, then backed into his room. “C’mon. Get in here. Spill it.”
Lena arched a brow at him. “Afraid to be seen with me in your private quarters, Reyes?”
He grimaced. “It’s not that. Someone might make assumptions.”
She rolled her eyes as she walked past him. “We can’t have anyone figuring out the real me, can we?” Of course, it’d been so long since she’d had sex, she could hardly say that anymore. It wasn’t like she had what she considered viable candidates for a meaningless romp to relieve tension at Fort Nevada, anyway. Jackson had made himself as clear as day. And Alex had distanced himself from her over the last week. He was all business. No more flirtations. No more stolen kisses. She was so frustrated she could scream.
He closed the door behind her then stepped past to stand in the middle of the seating area, hands on hips. He glanced around as he waited for her to approach. The further she moved into his private space, the less comfortable he looked. She stopped a foot short of him.
He crossed his arms and focused on her. “Okay. So tell me. What’s wrong? Heightened emotions are bad, remember? I can’t have you start glowing as we trot through Azcon in the middle of the night, and I’d rather not go boom. So, where’ve you been? What happened? How can we fix it?”
Lena swallowed. She rubbed her forehead and smoothed her hair back, clasping her hands behind her neck. “I was with Sam. On the way back, I overheard some Guardians talking. And I’ll fix it myself.” There. She’d answered his questions. Could she go now?
“Sam?” Now concern colored his voice, although whether it was for her or for his ancient mentor, she wasn’t sure. Sam always brought out the humanity in Alex. “Were they bothering him?”
“No. As if I’d allow that,” she said.
“So what did you hear?”
She shrugged. “Some stuff.” No big deal. A plot to get rid of her in nine or ten months so they could have full access to the wounded children Lena had brought to Fort Nevada for protection.
She’d put them in danger. Wasn’t that how it worked? Tears of frustration sprang to her eyes. She blinked them back as fast as she could. She would not cry in front of him again, no matter how good it would feel to have him put his arms around her in comfort.
She caught the flare of panic that bloomed on his face, and he stepped back, easing over to a chair to sit. Was he putting more distance between them? He really didn’t want to be alone with her. So much for that amazing kiss she hadn’t put out of her head.
“So tell me this stuff,” he said.
“I’d rather not.”
Alex rubbed his chin. “Well then, how am I supposed to help you?”
You want to help, do you? Screw it.
She stalked over to stand directly in front of him. “You can help me by letting me feel human for fifteen minutes. I want to feel good for fifteen minutes. I want to not think, or plan, or worry for fifteen freaking minutes. I want to feel like a normal woman for fifteen minutes. Not someone who’s special.” She twisted the word.
“But you are special, Lena.” The muscle in his jaw jumped.
“I want to be touched like a regular woman—no implications or expectations. Is that so much to ask?”
He was silent.
“I know you want me.”
He growled and narrowed his dark eyes. “We all want you, because you’re special.”
“Then give me fifteen minutes. You want to fix it. That will. Give me that.”
“Fifteen minutes of tension relief? That’s what you’re asking for?”
This isn’t about feelings, she told herself. No feelings.
Lena lifted her chin. She wouldn’t play by anyone else’s rules. “Yes.”
“Yes?” Alex nodded. “It’s not me, then. Not personal.” He looked past her, his eyes hooded. When he brought them back to her again, she could see the decision he’d made. “Sounds like something I can live with.”