She didn’t, and the mischievous grin on her face grew before the most embarrassing phrase known to man tumbled off her tongue. “Is Ilyan a good kisser?”
“What?” I practically shrieked, knowing right away that my frantic outburst had given me away. Even though she had figured it all out before, there was no way I could get out of her demanding a full play-by-play now.
“I knew it,” she cooed, causing every single blood vessel in my body to freeze in place. “Spill.”
I exhaled, knowing that I wouldn’t tell her anything. It wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have.
“No,” I said, my voice distorted as I ground my teeth in embarrassment.
“Oh, come on! It’s not like it’s a secret or anything. Although why you want him to kiss you, I have no idea.” She said it just like she always had and my head spun toward her at the familiarity.
Now she talked about him like she was grossed out by him, like she had before when Ilyan had trained me at the motel. Not like this morning, not like earlier when Ilyan had laid out the plan. It was like the many faces of Wyn. I thought I had known her, but now I just couldn’t keep up. I narrowed my eyes at her, almost willing my sight to come so I could figure out what she was playing at.
“What?” she asked, obviously confused by the look I was giving her.
“You didn’t seem so adverse to the idea this morning,” I said, my eyebrows arching as I waited for an explanation. She, however, looked at me like I was crazy. “You came to our room, and looked at him like you wanted to eat him. Not like he was disgusting.”
“Now you are sounding a tad bit jealous.”
“No, I’m just confused. Last I heard, you didn’t like him and wouldn’t try to hit on him like you did this morning.”
“Hit on him?” she asked, her eye roll so exaggerated that I knew she was hiding something. “Whatever.”
She scoffed like it was some big joke, like I had just imagined it. I didn’t know why, but it cut through me. Who knew, maybe I was being a bit jealous. Jealous or not, it didn’t change the pain I saw in her eyes, the way she avoided me. It didn’t change that somehow, I got the idea she had become a different person when Edmund had captured her.
“I know what I saw, Wyn,” I said as I pushed into her shoulder a bit, hoping that the somewhat playful gesture would thaw the ice that had encased her.
Instead, it had the opposite effect, and she stopped, her jaw tightening as she held her breath. I didn’t know why, but I almost expected her to attack me. Right then, she felt dangerous. My pace slowed to a stop as I turned toward her, the dim light of the hallway making the valleys of her face darker. The hairs on the back of my neck prickled with fear for the briefest of breaths before her jaw loosened and her eyes softened.
“I just have trouble knowing who I am sometimes.”
“What?” I asked, the one word seeming to break the spell that I had somehow put over her, and her head jerked up, her face twisted into a mischievous grin.
“You tell me how good of a kisser Ilyan is, and I’ll spill.”
Even if I wanted to respond, I had no idea what to say. I had no idea how to explain what it felt like when Ilyan’s lips pressed against mine, when his hands pressed me against him. When everything became light, and the world stopped spinning. Every time, it felt like magic before I had known that magic was real, and I could feel the power of the world rejoice as if it was celebrating our union. It was perfect.
The words were in my head, but I knew they would never find a way out.
She knew it, too. She also knew I wouldn’t give in. I just stood there, my jaw working mechanically as the thunder from the storm continued to crash around us.
“Just what I thought,” Wyn said dreamily, a knowing smile on her face as she turned a corner into another dimly lit section of hall.
I fell into step beside her and she laughed, the sound claiming her supposed victory before she shoved me playfully into the wall next to her, her hand hot like fire against my skin.
With one touch, an inferno burned away the tendons in my hand. I screamed as pain spread through me, the sight of my fingers twisting into weird, broken angles only making the scream that much louder. I pulled my hand away as I tried to stifle my screams and control the nightmare that was threatening to take over.
I stumbled against the wall as the fire moved up my arm, my fingers clawing at the heated skin while the muscles continued to cramp and bend. I could hear the clanging of pipes in my ears, the madness getting closer. I couldn’t focus beyond the pain to chase it away, the loud scream that ripped from me only seemed to be bring it on faster.
I bit my lip until I could taste the blood in an attempt to stifle the scream, to keep the insanity from taking over. I felt my magic rush through me, trailing the burn with ice as it attempted to heal me.