His eyes shined as his fingertips ran over my face before moving down, careful to avoid the raised brand behind my ear. He kept his hand there, his fingers soft against my skin before he brought me closer, so close I could see the facets of golden light in the blue of his eyes, the shining color dancing before his lids closed, his lips pressing against mine.
I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as I kissed him back, my fingers trailing along his hair line as I felt the soft pressure of his kiss, his warm breath moving into me as he held me against him. His lips then moved off mine to graze over my cheeks, my eyes. He littered the sweet touch over me while we stood, wrapped in each other’s arms, rose petals falling around us in a blizzard of white.
I sighed as Ilyan pressed his lips against my jawbone, the touch slow before he raised back up, his eyes more gold than blue in the dim light.
“Ty jsi moje nav?dy. M?j za?átek a m?j konec,” I repeated the words to him in Czech, not caring if my pronunciation was off. “I have no doubt. You have taken all of that away.”
“And if it comes back, I will chase it away.” His accent was so heavy I could barely understand him, yet I smiled nonetheless, the promise one that I wasn’t sure I needed anymore.
Ilyan had lent me a dream, a piece of him that I could take with me always. I could feel his magic thrum through me, something I had grown so used to that I had almost forgotten what it really meant for us. Now I knew, though. Ilyan’s dream had become my dream, and with that hope, I could overcome everything.
Even though the demons were just waiting to knock down the door.
Fifteen
Ryland was watching me.
I could feel his eyes on me from where I stood, sandwiched between Thom and Ilyan around the large, raised table. My shoulders tensed in fear as I heard Sain whisper to Ryland every few minutes. The fear blended into anger as Ryland clung to my father’s hand. Sain’s voice was calm as he tried to stop Ryland from doing what my mind continually screamed at me to do to him. The desire that I was desperately fighting.
The need to attack.
I ground my teeth and pushed the craving away, careful to keep myself as close to Ilyan as I dared. Even though he had warned me not to touch him, not to get to close. Ryland’s perception of me was still distorted, and getting to close to Ilyan could shatter the flimsy veil of sanity Ryland had found. If Ryland erupted, it would only be moments before my own sanity shattered.
So, instead of stepping closer to Ilyan as I wanted, I took a deep gulp from the mug of Black Water I held, letting the deep magic that it provided warm me, numb me, and settle my madness. Although it wasn’t enough, it helped. I took another small sip before setting it back on the table we stood around, grateful for the residual calm it gave me.
I kept my eyes glued on the ancient parchment that Ilyan had brought from our room, the yellowed surface lined with streaks of colorful light from the numerous lanterns and orbs that lit the dusty room. I knew the sun was shining somewhere above the dark clouds that shrouded us, but all we received was darkness and the steady drum of thunder.
Ryland mumbled as the sky ripped open, and my breathing picked up, my shoulders tensing as Sain’s murmurs became a dense white noise to Ilyan’s commands. I moved a step toward Thom, but he only seemed to be concerned with Wyn, who stood opposite of him. Wyn, whose hand was wrapped around Ryland’s.
“Hurt her!” Ryland suddenly erupted and I jumped, my eyes darting toward the sound. I knew at once it was a mistake.
My anger licked at my soul in a flame of heat and fear, the emotions screaming at me to lunge across the table at him. I clenched every muscle in an attempt to stay still, my joints aching as the raw anger attempted to bully its way past the wall I had built, threatening to take me down.
Just as I fought the madness, Ryland fought to maintain the calm he had built. I could see it in the way his shoulders tensed and sagged, the way his fingers compressed into tight, little fists.
Until now, Ryland had been calm. His voice mellow when he spoke, his emotions didn’t seem quite so volatile. But he still wasn’t whole; he still wasn’t the boy he used to be, and the monster was threatening to come back.
I had hoped the return of his heart would have helped, and while I could see the calm it had given him, it hadn’t been enough.
I just wished I didn’t feel so awkward wearing the now clear diamond around my neck. I don’t know what it was, but the necklace almost felt like a war prize, something tainted that I should return. Or destroy.
I swallowed once and looked back down to the table top, knowing that one look into the depths of his eyes would unleash my nightmares. Knowing that part of me wanted it to. I could already hear the liquid thoughts of my anger begging me to attack, to slice him apart.