Lagos is lying on the ground, sprawled across the tire track. He has been slit open like a salmon, with a single smooth-edged cut that begins at his anus and runs up his belly, through the middle of his sternum, all the way up to the point of his jaw. It’s not just a superficial slash. It appears to go all the way to his spine in some places. The black nylon straps that hold his computer system to his body have been neatly cut where they cross the midline, and half of the stuff has fallen off into the dust.
So I will get big radio traffic
When you look at demographic
Sushi K research statistic
Make big future look ballistic
Speed of Sushi K growth stock
Put U.S. rappers into shock
Chapter Seventeen
Jason Breckinridge wears a terracotta blazer. It is the color of Sicily. Jason Breckinridge has never been to Sicily. He may get to go there someday, as a premium. In order to get the free cruise to Sicily, Jason has to accumulate 10,000 Goombata Points.
He begins this quest in a favorable position. By opening up his own Nova Sicilia franchise, he started out with an automatic 3,333 points in the Goombata Point bank. Add to that a onetime-only Citizenship Bonus of 500 points and the balance is starting to look pretty good. The number is stored in the big computer in Brooklyn.
Jason grew up in the western suburbs of Chicago, one of the most highly franchised regions in the country. He attended the University of Illinois business school, racking up a GPA of 2.9567, and did a senior thesis called “The Interaction of the Ethnographic, Financial, and Paramilitary Dimensions of Competition in Certain Markets.” This was a case study of turf struggle between Nova Sicilia and Narcolombia franchises in his old neighborhood in Aurora.
Enrique Cortazar ran the failing Narcolombia franchise upon which Jason had hinged his argument. Jason interviewed him several times over the phone, briefly, but never saw Mr. Cortazar face to face.
Mr. Cortazar celebrated Jason’s graduation by fire-bombing the Breckinridges’ Omni Horizon van in a parking lot and then firing eleven clips of automatic rifle ammunition through the front wall of their house.
Fortunately, Mr. Caruso, who ran the local string of Nova Sicilia franchulates that was in the process of beating the pants off of Enrique Cortazar, got wind of these attacks before they happened, probably by intercepting signal intelligence from Mr. Cortazar’s fleet of poorly secured cellular phones and CB radios. He was able to warn Jason’s family in time, so that when all of those bullets flew through their house in the middle of the night, they were enjoying complimentary champagne in an Old Sicilia Inn five miles down Highway 96.
Naturally, when the B-school held its end-of-the-year job fair, Jason made a point of swinging by the Nova Sicilia booth to thank Mr. Caruso for saving everyone in his family from certain death.
“Hey, y’know, it was just, like a neighbor kinda thing, y’know, Jasie boy?” Mr. Caruso said, whacking Jason across the shoulder blades and squeezing his deltoids, which were the size of cantaloupes. Jason did not hit the steroids as hard as he had when he was fifteen, but he was still in great shape.
Mr. Caruso was from New York. He had one of the most popular booths at the job fair. It was being held in a big exhibition space in the Union. The hall had been done up with an imaginary street pattern. Two “highways” divided it up into quadrants, and all the franchise companies and nationalities had their booths along the highways. Burbclaves and other companies had booths hidden among the suburban “streets” within the quadrants. Mr. Caruso’s Nova Sicilia booth was right at the intersection of the two highways. Dozens of scrubby B-school grads were lined up there waiting to interview, but Mr. Caruso noticed Jason standing in line and went right up and plucked him out of line and grabbed his deltoids. All the other B-school grads stared at Jason enviously. That made Jason feel good, really special. That was the feeling he got about Nova Sicilia: personalized attention.
“Well, I was going to interview here, of course, and at Mr. Lee’s Greater Hong Kong, because I’m real interested in high tech,” Jason said, in response to Mr. Caruso’s fatherly questioning.
Mr. Caruso gave him an especially hard squeeze. His voice said that he was painfully surprised, but that he didn’t necessarily think any less of Jason for it, not yet anyway. “Hong Kong? What would a smart white kid like you want with a fuckin’ Nip operation?”
“Well, technically they’re not Nips—which is short for Niponese,” Jason said. “Hong Kong is a predominantly Catonese—”
“They’re all Nips,” Mr. Caruso said, “and y’know why I say that? Not because I’m a fuckin’ racist, because I’m not. Because to them—to those people, y’know, the Nips—we’re all foreign devils. That’s what they call us. Foreign devils. How d’ya like that?”
Jason just laughed appreciatively.
“After all the good things we did for them. But here in America, Jasie boy, we’re all foreign devils, ain’t we? We all came from someplace—’cept for the fuckin’ Indians. You ain’t gonna interview over at the Lakota Nation, are ya?”
“No, sir, Mr. Caruso,” Jason said.
“Good thinkin’. I agree with that. I’m gettin’ away from my main point, which is that since we all have our own unique ethnic and cultural identities, we have to get a job with an organization that uniquely respects and seeks to preserve those distinctive identities—forging them together into a functionin’ whole, y’know?”
“Yes, I see your point, Mr. Caruso,” Jason said.
By this point, Mr. Caruso had led him some distance away and was strolling with him down one of the metaphorical Highways o’ Opportunity. “Now, can you think of some business organizations that fill that fuckin’ bill, Jasie boy?”