Sisters Grimm 05 Magic and Other Misdemeanors

"I'll get a lawyer!" a man threatened.

 

"Feel free," Heart snapped. "But I have a feeling any lawyer in this town is in the same boat as you. Now, get lost or I'll have the sheriff lock you all up."

 

"For what?" one man shouted. "It's still legal to protest in this county."

 

"Then I'll have you locked up for being ugly. Now, scram!"

 

The people filed out slowly, muttering threats at the mayor until she and the Grimm family were left alone. Heart looked at them and let out a little laugh. She took out a key and unlocked the door to the tax assessor's office, snatching the little note off the door as she stepped inside.

 

Granny Relda and the girls followed her through the door. They found themselves in a small, windowless office lined with big gray file cabinets. There was a single well-worn counter separating the room into an office area and a waiting area. Heart stepped behind the counter and set a bell down on top of it.

 

"Good morning, Mayor Heart," Granny said as she stepped up to the counter.

 

The mayor said nothing. In fact, she opened up a drawer, took out a newspaper, and started reading the day's headlines.

 

"Hello?" Sabrina said.

 

Daphne tugged on her grandmother's sleeve and pointed to a sign on the wall. It read ring bell for service.

 

Granny looked as if she might leap over the counter and strangle Mayor Heart, but she took a deep breath, reached over, and lightly tapped the bell. The mayor looked up from her paper and flashed the family a forced smile filled with crooked yellow teeth. "Can I help you?"

 

"Mayor Heart, I didn't realize that you were required to collect taxes personally," Granny said.

 

"Oh, I'm not," the mayor said with a twisted giggle. "But this job is just too much fun to let someone else do it. I suppose you're here to see if you can talk your way out of your debt too?"

 

"Not at all," Granny said as she fished in her handbag and took out a stack of money. "I'm here to pay the bill."

 

The mayor's face turned bright red even through her white pancake makeup. She tried to speak but fell into a coughing fit for several moments before she managed to squeak out, "You what?"

 

"I said we've come to pay our taxes. This is the correct office?"

 

The mayor stammered and looked as if she might lapse into another fit. "Yes, it is."

 

"Very well," the old woman said as she placed the stack of cash in the mayor's hand. "One hundred and fifty thousand dollars."

 

Ms. Heart reached underneath the counter and snatched her megaphone. She lifted it to her mouth, pushed the button, and bellowed, "NOTTINGHAM!" The feedback rattled Sabrina's ears.

 

A moment later, the foul sheriff hobbled into the office. "I hear you, woman! If you haven't noticed, I'm a little busy. There's a mob outside, and some fool on Mount Taurus swears he's seen a dinosaur running around up there. Can you believe that? A dinosaur! I put him in a cell for being intoxicated."

 

"Who cares?" the mayor bellowed into her megaphone. "The Grimms have arrived to pay their taxes."

 

Nottingham laughed long and hard, but then seemed to realize his boss was not joking. He slammed his fist down on the counter, cursed, and spit on the floor.

 

"Why, the two of you act as if you're disappointed that we can pay," Granny said, obviously enjoying the change in mood. Sabrina could have sworn she heard sarcasm in her grandmother's voice.

 

Nottingham snatched the money out of the mayor's hand, flipped through it as if he suspected it were counterfeit, and then slammed it on the table.

 

"We're going to need a receipt," Granny said sweetly.

 

Mayor Heart snarled. Then she snatched a book of receipts off a nearby desk, scribbled onto one of them, and ripped it out of the book.

 

"This isn't over," Heart said, dangling the receipt out of the reach of Granny Relda.

 

"Oh, we never doubted that for a second," the old woman replied, grabbing the receipt. She placed it safely into her handbag, took the girls by the hand, and escorted them out of the office.

 

"Have a nice day," Daphne said just before they closed the door.

 

Sabrina heard the mayor and the sheriff scream in frustration as the family walked back down the hallway. They stepped outside, and for a moment the three Grimms gazed down at the throngs of desperate citizens.

 

"These poor people," Granny Relda said. "If we had enough I'd give them all the money they need."

 

"There's not enough money in the world," Sabrina replied. "Mayor Heart wants them out of Ferryport Landing. Anyway, we should be worried about us. What are we going to do if we're the last human family left in the town?"

 

"I don't know, liebling"

 

the old woman said as they stepped into the street. "But for now we should get back to our mystery. Who knows when Baba Yaga is going to lose her patience."

 

Suddenly, Sheriff Nottingham rushed through the crowd, waving a paper over his head. "Oh, Mrs. Grimm..."

 

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