Butterflies fluttered in her stomach when she raised her gaze to his. It was impossible not to see the worry in his eyes. The emotion. Stark. Intense.
“We were playing a game here, but for me it’s real. Touching you. Kissing you. The moment my body is next to yours I heat up. Catch fire. I thought this was fun for you, too, but you’re not into it.” He zipped up her top and enfolded her immediately into his arms, his body tight against hers.
She was into the game. She had been. She’d initiated it. She had thought to put the game to rest. The worry she had that he was playing her long term. She didn’t believe Aaron. In fact, she knew he lied, but still, that little nagging worry told her this was all happening too quickly. How could Giovanni fall in love with her so fast?
For her, it wasn’t about his looks. It wasn’t about the money. She’d fallen because when her shadow had touched his, she’d known him. She’d “seen” him. That first night when he’d taken her to the pizzeria, then walked her home, she’d felt him. His sincerity. His need to protect and care for others. Giovanni was many things, but beneath that mask he wore in public, the playboy, he was something very different. He said things, things she normally wouldn’t believe, because everything between them had happened so fast, but she knew he was sincere. She knew he was telling the truth because her innate ability to hear lies told her she could trust what he said and did.
Still, she doubted herself at times. She didn’t understand how it happened so fast for him. For her, it made sense. She was alone. Everything around her was crumbling. Her brother—that beautiful man she loved so much, her last relative—had little time to live and barely knew who she was from one day to the next. Need was a strong motivator even for love.
That pulled her up short. Was she with him only because she needed someone to help her get through the terrible fears she had over Sandlin? She pressed her face deeper into Giovanni’s immaculate jacket. Was she that shallow of a person that she would cling to a man she barely knew, convince herself that she was falling in love?
“Baby, stop.”
She knew he was moving them through the couples, but she didn’t look. She just went with him. She heard herself sobbing, but she was disconnected, and there was no stopping anyway.
Giovanni took her to the edge of the dance floor and was immediately surrounded by his family. He didn’t know how Stefano was always aware of each and every one of them as well as their state of mind, but he was. He had the bodyguards there as well, so they moved easily through the crowd toward the back hallway where the offices were located. No one was the wiser that anything was wrong. Even the paparazzi was used to the family walking from place to place together.
The moment they got to the hallway door, Giovanni yanked it open, took Sasha on through and, still holding her to him, brought her into the family’s office. It was large. They each required space. Maybe it had to do with spending so much time in the shadows, but they all preferred wide-open spaces if they could get them.
He sank down onto the plush couch, taking Sasha with him, cradling her close to him. Maybe if she hadn’t spent hours serving drinks and being brave, or if she hadn’t set out to seduce him using his own game, her tears wouldn’t have gutted him the way they did, but the longer she sobbed as if her heart was breaking, the more he wanted to fight someone, slay dragons, do whatever the hell he needed to do to get her to stop.
He massaged her scalp and rocked her, holding her to him, the entire time murmuring soothing reassurances in Italian. He let her cry, wracking his brain, trying to think of what could have happened. He’d been careful to keep them in the shadows, so much so that at times, the pull on his body had been tremendous and his leg had ached until he thought it might shatter. Still, every second of her seduction had been worth the pain to him.
He loved her all the more for her courage and sense of fun, for her willingness to forgive his stupidity and turn his game into something beautiful and intimate between them. He rubbed his jaw and then his cheek along the top of her silky head. Strands of hair caught in the five-o’clock shadow that had seemed to be a part of him since his late teens.
She hiccupped. Coughed. Clearly made an effort to stop. He kept her head pressed against his shoulder, knowing she wanted to hide from him. He was content to let her, as long as she was in his arms.
“Can you tell me, Sasha? What’s wrong?”
“I just need …” She trailed off.
His heart clenched and sudden fear swept through him. He knew what she was going to say. He was that tuned to her. She wanted to put space between them. She wanted to rethink her decision to be with him. Go backward.
“Don’t, baby. I’m asking you not to say it. Not that.” He struggled to keep his voice from breaking. Her wild emotion seemed to be contagious. “Just talk to me and tell me what you’re feeling. I know you’re overwhelmed. We can be an overwhelming family. I know it has to feel as if everything is happening too fast, but we can deal with those things together. Just talk to me. Trust me enough to talk to me.”
She squirmed, her hands coming up to his chest, but she didn’t push him away. She just kept her hands there while she pressed her forehead against him, still struggling to gain control. “I’m sorry, Giovanni. I don’t know what happened.”
He wanted to let her get away with it, but he couldn’t. They had to always be on the same page. That was part of being a shadow rider. “You need to tell me what happened.”
She sighed and lifted her face so her eyes could meet his. His heart stuttered, and he brought his hand up to cup her face even as his other arm continued to lock her to him.
“I think I panicked. I’m getting in too deep here, Giovanni. I don’t know how to play games, and if that’s what’s going on here …”
That was a knife, striking deep, straight through his heart. He couldn’t even be upset with her for thinking it, although he thought they’d put that to rest. He cursed himself and the stupid, idiotic idea of the game he had played with his brothers and cousins. He thought Ricco was going to have problems with the ridiculous things he’d done before he found Mariko, but this was just as bad if not worse.
“Does it really feel as if I’m playing games with you, Sasha?” He leaned into her, brushed her trembling lips with his. That shock of electricity he’d come to expect when he touched her raced through his body. He brushed those velvet soft lips a second time, his heart accelerating.
No one had ever told him that he could fall so far so fast. There was something about her, that combination of vulnerability and independence, strength and yet compassion. He liked her honesty, even when, like now, she didn’t want to admit what she was feeling.
“No.” Her voice was a whisper. A thread of sound. “No, but …”
She tried to turn away, the tears tracking down her face obviously embarrassing her. He could tell she didn’t believe in letting anyone see that evidence of vulnerability. “I’m not just anyone,” he reminded. “That ring on your finger means something to me. I’ve never told a woman she matters. Or that I’m falling in love with her. I’ve never wanted a woman to wear my ring. The sad truth is, Sasha, I knew when I told Goodman, the administrator, that we were engaged, that the news would be leaked all over the next day—I wanted it to be.”
“To protect my brother,” she agreed.
“To wrap us tighter together. I didn’t want you running from me. I know you’re the one. The moment I saw you working, I couldn’t take my eyes off you …”