Capitalism is alive and well in our communist paradise.
“Pocket watch.” I hold Papa’s watch by its twisted silver chain. “Painted face commemorates the forty-year anniversary of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics.” My voice falters as memories of Papa ripple through me: He clicks it open, checks it, exhales a plume of smoke, tucks it in his coat, and turns back to the snow-slashed streets. “Wind it once a month and it’ll run forever.” I drop the watch in Raisa’s palm, happy to bid those memories farewell.
“Not bad. Expensive…” She bounces it in her hand, as if checking its weight. “But is it so practical? It will be forty-six years since the revolution this November. Outdated, yes?”
I wince. Has Papa been gone for five years? I turned seventeen last month, but there was no extravagant celebration like when we were favored in the Party. I’ve forgotten the taste of sugar frosting, the sound of wrapping paper tearing apart. I passed my birthday as I had the last four, keeping Mama and Zhenya hidden while I pawned away our history.
“Then it’s a collector’s item.” I must be careful when defending an item’s value. I’ve seen too many others expose their past or reveal their emotions when justifying a high price, but that’s giving valuable information away. I must tell her only what she needs to hear. An empty mind is a safe mind, Papa always said.
Raisa nods, but looks unconvinced. Now we play the games of the market that can’t be written into rules. Gauging your trading partner, assessing their offer, luring out what they really want and need. Knowing when to reveal what else you have to trade, and when to keep it hidden.
And I am better at this than most.
I move for the watch as if to take it back, but my fingertips linger against her skin. Concentrate, Yulia. In the moment when our skin touches, time shatters apart, like the world is run by a loose watch spring. I plunge into the emptiness, the silence around me, and when I surface from it I’m inside Raisa’s thoughts.
She can turn a huge profit on the ointment—castoffs from the factory, because the formula was off. The peroxide cost her too much—a kilo of pork, and it was fresh, too. Raisa wants compensation. And me, always turning up with rich Party goods that raise too many questions when Raisa tries to sell them off—
I fall back into the void and thrash toward myself, and time winds back up to speed. I finish snatching the watch back and narrow my eyes.
“I don’t want your ointment. I heard about the factory mishap. You thought I didn’t know the formula was off?”
Raisa’s jaw droops, the wart on her chin wobbling.
“You’re not the right person for these goods,” I say. “I’ll look for someone who knows the value of Party items. Someone unafraid.” I sling the bag over my shoulder and turn to leave.
“No—please, wait—” Her Baba Yaga witch-nails catch my sweater. The brief contact isn’t enough for me to slip into her thoughts, but I sense her emotions in that touch: panic, fear, and … loyalty. She will not turn me in.
How do I explain this ability I have? It must be something everyone does, unknowingly. Mama’s textbooks say our sight and hearing are not such dominant senses as we believe. We smell others’ emotions and taste their weaknesses. Me, I’ve found out how to focus thoughts and memories through touch, like steadying a radio antenna with your fingertips, the static sloughing off until a clear melody remains.
Or maybe, like my paranoia, I’m only imagining.
“Then let’s talk seriously.” I yank open my bag. “Keep your ointment. I want double the aspirin, and the gauze…”
Warmth spreads along my back. The discomfort we feel when being watched—another intangible sense. Through a tear in Raisa’s curtain, I get a better look at the twin boy and girl, russet halos of hair catching the afternoon sun, with matching disgusted expressions for their matching clothes. Their matching, expensive clothes. My nails split the bag’s burlap fibers. Only junior members of the Communist Party—Komsomol, the youth wing—could dress so well.
“What’s the matter, girl?” Raisa leans toward the curtain. “If you’ve brought the KGB to me…”
The twins’ gazes flit around the market like flies but keep returning to me. They duck under a cage of rabbits hung from the rafters, and glide toward us like Siberian tigers on the hunt. My blood is molten in my veins. The gnawing paranoia urges me to run, run, escape their doubled stare, run where their stiff new shoes can’t follow. But what if I’m wrong? What if they aren’t here for me, or only recognize me from my old life?