“Thom?” Ryland asked, the timber of his voice changing to one of sickened pity. Had no one told him yet? Had he not placed it together?
“Yes, Thom. He is your brother too. Only the four of us remain. Some have escaped the horrors, others let them engulf them, and they are turned into heartless monsters. Joclyn fights her horrors every day, what will you do?”
“Joclyn...” his voice revered her, as if she was his deity. The anger was gone from his eyes now, his head hanging between his sagging shoulders. Right then, I could see the child who had saved me. He was scared but so brave. In that moment, I knew that his strength was still there; it was the line between right and wrong that had been blurred.
We just needed to draw it again.
“I have kept her safe for you, Ryland. Just as I promised you I would. But I need to continue keeping her safe until she realizes that she doesn’t need to be scared of you.”
Ryland’s eyes looked up to me, and I felt my heart beat uncomfortably as it tried to escape the prison that I had trapped it in, as it tried to stop me from enacting on my heritage.
“She still loves you, Ryland. I can see it in her eyes. I saw it every day that she would talk about you, in the way she held out hope. She told me every day, Ryland. Her heart belongs to you.”
Ryland listened through it all, his body relaxing and his eyes softening as he listened. He walked toward me slowly, his magical impulses finally released from wherever he had held them prisoner, the waves calm in the air.
“I will make this right and return her to you whole.” I smiled, my face pulling up uncomfortably as my heart protested against my words.
“Thank you, Ilyan.” Ryland voice was soft in my ear as he embraced me, his body appearing only slightly younger than mine. I reluctantly returned the hug, my arms unsure how to respond to such a gesture.
“Samoz?ejmě, bratr, I will let you see her as soon as she is ready,” I said, his slight smile appearing at my words.
Thom had been right from the very beginning. Handing her over was going to be harder than I had ever imagined.
It was duty, my role, to do what was right. There was no question that this was the right thing to do. I could not lead the few of us that remained if I was not honest and right.
And doing this, this was right.
The choices we make are not always easy, but it is the ones that are hard that matter. I could tell, looking into his eyes, that this was the one that mattered. This was the one that would make a difference.
This is the one that needed to be done; no matter how much it hurt.
Chapter Twenty-Six
I woke up with Joclyn in my arms, her body pressed against mine as I sang to her, my words flitting between Czech and English. I had finally fallen asleep at some point last night after making one last check on Dramin.
I had slept dreamlessly, but at some point, the restraint I had against her waking had slipped off and she woke. She was scared. I could tell by the unsteady beat of her heart and the way her hand pressed roughly against me, as if she was trying to move into me. I tightened my arms against her, hoping the pressure would help to relax her.
I had seen her need for the security and the way she had come to get that from pressure as she wedged herself in between the toilet and vanity the other day. I had felt her need for the strength of something else when she could not find her own in the memories she had lent me.
Joclyn’s body stiffened at my touch, a small flinch that shivered over her shoulder blades. Her breathing picked up and her heart rate increased, but I kept my arms tight around her, not willing to let her move into herself, not wanting her fears to take over. I pushed my magic into her, calming her, settling her frayed nerves.
I stayed silent as I held her, as she calmed. I wanted her to decide when she felt safe enough to speak. I wanted her to feel security come from me and then be able to find it in herself.
“Joclyn?” I kept my voice soft, my lips speaking gently against her dark hair.
She pressed against me at the noise, my arms helping her in her search for comfort, as I tightened them around her.
“Are you okay?” I ran my hand over her hair, feeling the soft strands between my fingers, the act helping to slowly calm her heart.
Her head moved against me, the subtle nod of agreement one I hadn’t expected. She was okay. Even though I could feel her fear, feel her panic, she still felt okay.
My heart beat in one wild thump before settling again, my hold on her lessening. I kept her against me as I ran my hand over her hair, my other coming to press her back into me. I surrounded her in security, keeping her broken mind safe for just a moment.
She sighed, and I felt her body relax just enough to mold against me. I wished I could give her serenity in her waking moments, but it was not in my power to do so. There was one thing only I had power to give her right now.