chapter TWENTY-EIGHT
The basement was empty. The props and backdrops draped the walls casting strange shapes across the narrow room. I padded across the darkness to the worn leather couch, and fell onto its thick cushions. I pressed my hands under the crooks in my arms, trying to warm them. I sat where he sat, where I’d found Collin so many times before. Oddly, we shared the same fondness of small dark spaces that tend to freak most people out. But for me, it provided four walls of safety and comfort. Collin came here when he needed to think, as did I.
Something called me to this place. I effonated inside without disturbing the sapphire serum in my chest, but I was feeling weaker. Locoicia said she removed the venom’s mark and nothing more. I would still die if the poison remained buried in my chest. The toll of the poison did not go unnoticed. Drawing in air took effort, as it became harder and harder to force myself to breathe. I wanted to sleep. To close my eyes and dream, but I didn’t dare. Awake I could resist Locoicia’s calls. Awake, I could defend myself against Valefar, Martis, and misguided angels. The cement store room was four walls of peace.
I leaned back into the cushions, slouching and pushed my hair out of my face. Getting down here wasn’t easy. Jenna Marie wouldn’t leave. She insisted I take her to Lorren, but Lorren isn’t part of my plan. The entire situtation with Lorren bothered me. He’s supposed to be dead and he lied to my face. Those were two serious issues that needed to be remedied. Nothing was as it seemed. No one was trustworthy. Not now. Not ever. Tilting my head back, I gazed at the rafters on the ceiling. They were sprayed with a chunky plaster compound that had collected a lifetime of dust.
His voice made me jump, “Have you reconsidered?” Collin stood across from me in the shadows. His hands were in his pockets. “Or are you still insisting on going through with it?” The tilt of his head, the gleam of his eye were confrontational. He came looking for me.
I didn’t move. Thoughts slashed through my mind in a vortex or doubt. My eyes lingered on his lips for a beat too long, before they slid away to the floor, I said, “No. Have you reconsidered?”
He stepped towards me, blue eyes piercing into my soul, “I can’t.” His dark leather jacket clung to his body. The lapel was open, revealing a black shirt beneath.
“Neither can I,” I answered. Collin’s gaze shifted between my mouth and my eyes. I couldn’t feel his thoughts. I couldn’t sense his emotions. Rising, I walked toward him. His eyes dropped to my hips, taking in the gentle sway of my walk until I stopped in front of him. I resisted the urge to reach out and run my fingers across his cheeks. I resisted and asked, “Do you really think I’d kill you?”
His jaw tensed. “It’s not whether you want to or not. It’s what happens.” Impossibly blue eyes locked with mine. “I have to tell you something.” Looking up into his face, I wanted nothing more than to press my lips to his and melt in his arms. But I didn’t move. He stepped forward, and tilted his forehead down, touching it to mine. His fingers tangled in my hair, as his breath washed across my lips in a rush. “I have to tell you… something.” His words were barely audible.
My breath caught in his throat. I lifted my hands and placed them against his chest, touching the exposed skin at his throat just about his neckline. My finger traced along the edge of his shirt. “Tell me, then.” My hands slid around to the bare skin at the base of his neck. It was the only chink in his armor, the only place where we could still feel each other.
His words brushed inside my mind, It’s not what you think. Nothing is.
I don’t understand, I replied watching him, waiting for more. Collin stood frozen in front of me. The bond was reduced to an ember of what it had been.
Collin’s body twisted out of my grip, and the bond shattered. He stepped away, slipping out of my reach. “I have to go.” His voice caught in his throat. His fingers stretched once, and relaxed. He looked away.
Blankly, I stared at him. A wave of intense emotions pelted into me before he released me. Staring at the smooth leather that followed the curve of his back, I watched him step away. The emotions that swam through the bond were vibrant and wild. They made no sense, but the main thing that startled me was the remorse that blared through everything else. It was so devastatingly thick that he could barely breathe. It was as if Collin couldn’t force his body to breathe. It felt like the same thing that was happening to me, but much worse. The wire bands that restricted his chest made him feel trapped. There was nothing I could do. This is where we stood. I said nothing, as he turned to leave. There was nothing more to say. The heat surrounding him intensified and he effonated away leaving me alone in the darkness.