chapter TWENTY-THREE
After showering and dressing, I walked through the church with wet hair. It felt like icicles clung to my head and rested on my shoulders. I suppressed a shiver. When I entered the nave, I walked past rows of pews and saw Eric sitting silently staring at the glass again. I didn’t conceal my presence this time, but he didn’t turn or acknowledge me until I was at his shoulder.
“Why hasn’t he come?” Eric pushed his hands on the wooden altar and twisted himself around toward me. It was a question that I’d been dreading.
I glanced at him once, and walked past him to sit on the floor. I folded my legs under me and said, “He’s not coming.”
“Why’s that?” Eric leaned forward, suddenly very interested. His eyes were razor sharp watching every movement, every twitch of my tongue, every flinch of my fingers.
I gazed at him, wondering if I should say anything about Collin. It felt like my life was a shard of glass that was meant for something else, but the fragments had become so small that I had no idea what it was supposed to be anymore. Collin turning on me was just another splinter of glass that made no sense. The confession rolled around in my mind before I spoke. My voice as flat, “The bond is broken. The connection between us isn’t what it was. It seems impaired, if not completely gone. It’s regressing. Fading into a void.”
Eric stared at me. “And how did it break? A soul bond is much stronger than any blood bond, and I’m not entirely convinced that I have no effect on you any longer.” His eyes moved over my lingering on my lips as he did so. A smile snaked across his mouth, “Which means that he still must have a hold of you, too.”
My hands clenched in my lap as eyes narrowed to slits. I glared at him. “You do not have a hold on me. Your blood doesn’t tempt me at all.”
He slid off the altar and walked slowly towards me. With each step he spoke, “And why would that be? What did your demon possibly tell you to do to break your lust for me?” My gaze was on the floor. His arrogant tone made me want to punch him in the face. “Or was it intentional at all?”
Shit. He knows. He knows that he has no effect on me because I can’t feel the lust. It is still there, whispering in the back of my mind, but I no longer care because I don’t feel the compulsion to act on my feelings. He stopped. Eric’s sneaker clad foot rested on the floor in front of me.
Through gritted teeth, I muttered, “What’s your point?”
He knelt down. Eric’s face was directly in front of mine. His eyes drifted over my face, landing on my lips, “Taylor, my point is,” his gaze raised to my eyes, “that your bond with him isn’t broken. It’s subdued. It’s been muffled. Muted. But, it still exists.” He rose and turned away from me. His feet tracked back to the altar where he jumped up, and slid back, dangling his legs off the side. Eric folded his fingers in his lap. “You can deny your lust for my blood the same way you can deny his bond with you. It’s still within you, but you no longer feel the need to respond.” He waited for me to answer, to affirm his declarations, but I didn’t. He already knew he was right. He was always right.
Swallowing hard, I asked, “So?” Patches of light formed shards of colors that scattered across the floor. There was no pattern.
Air rushed out of his lungs in a harsh laugh. “You are… ” he turned his head to the side, “completely naive.” My neck snapped up. A smile had twisted across his face. Two eyes sparkled in place of his normal glare. He leaned forward, watching me. Waiting for me to deny the words that fell from his lips. My jaw twitched. I scowled at him, waiting for him to speak. His voice was smooth, and completely confident, “He’s using you. Collin could find you whenever he wanted. But he doesn’t. He didn’t come last night, and he’s not coming now.” Eric watched me from under his brow. He lowered his voice, as if Collin might be near, listening to us. “He’s waiting. Waiting for you.”
My jaw hung open. Eric sounded insane. “He is not using me,” I snapped jumping to my feet. My body was lined with tension. Anger boiled somewhere in the recesses of my mind. Like a string tickling my arm, I swatted at the burning emotion and caught it. The rage coursed through me, violently beating in my heart. Before I knew it I was snarling in front of him, and looking up into his smug face. “Collin left me. That’s why he’s not here. He’s not waiting for a damn thing.”
Eric’s smile widened, “Hmm. Indeed. He’s not using you. He cares about you, but he left you with some deranged demon to slice off your skin down to your bones, and then he allowed your worst enemy to watch over you while you healed. That would be me, in case you missed it.” His brow pinched together as he hissed in my face. “I am the one who wanted to do that to you. I am the one who wanted to see you suffer in so much agony that you died. Me,” he breathed. Leaning back, the anger unpinched his face. Eric’s eyes flicked over my body, then back to some distant spot to the left. “Sure,” he muttered, “That makes sense. That’s what’d I do if I wanted to protect someone I loved, too.”
“The bond broke,” I snapped. The muscles in my neck constricted as I spoke, “He couldn’t feel it. And he didn’t know who I was with or what she was doing. He doesn’t know I’m with you or that he could have lost me last night. He doesn’t know!”
The smile melted off his face. He leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on his knees. “But I can still feel you—and our bloodbond isn’t very strong. I sense you, like I sense myself. You were able to sneak up on me the other day, because you were hidden from me. You masked your blood.” His eyes connected with mine and wouldn’t let go. His voice resonated with reason that I couldn’t accept. “Soul bonds do not work like that. There is no hiding. You know it’s true. Ivy. He still feels you, and yet… He. Did. Not. Come.” His lips formed around each word, slowly enunciating the facts.
Shaking my head, I stepped back. “He would have come. He would have. Collin wouldn’t have done that. No.” The pitch of my voice rose the longer I spoke. “He couldn’t feel my pain. He didn’t know… ” The words felt like barbs of wire being pulled out my throat.
The certainty on Eric’s face was plain. “Say what you want, but I think he’s manipulating you. His side of the bond is still there. He still knows where you are and what you’re doing. He chose not to come. He chose to let you die.”
“You’re wrong,” I growled, and turned on my foot to storm out the front door.